


A Thousand Stars To Swallow The Dark.

by TwoTeaspoonsOfSuga



Category: Hobi in general, namjin - Fandom, taekook - Fandom, yoonmin - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: And I just need y'all to recognise, Angry J-Hope, Angry Kim Namjoon | RM, Anxiety, Appa Yoongi, Arguing Boyfriends, Arguments, Army, Attempted Sexual Assault, Autumn feels, BTS Hugs, BUT ITS ALL HAPPY AFTER EACH SADNESS, Bad Ass Namjoon, Bangtan Cuddles, Bangtan Loves Army, Bangtan/ARMY, Bathroom Cuddles, Bit of blood again, Bullying, Burn the stage, But No Self Harm Dont Worry, Coming Out, Cyber Bullying, Eldest Hyung and Mankae Bonding, Exhausted Jin, Fan/Idol, Fanboy Jungkook, Father Figure Jin, Gangsta Yoongi, Hints of Body Image Issues, Hobi has a big dick., Hobi is a queer angel, Homophobia, Homophobic Uncle, Hopekook Hugs, Hoseok has more than one emotion, Hurt Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Hurt Park Jimin, Hurt/Comfort, Hyung Hobi, Intimidation, Introvert Jungkook, Jimin Saves Kookie, JinHope Comfort, JinMin Hugs, Just a nasty cold, Kim Seokjin | Jin Being a Mom, Kookie saves Jimin, Like come on metaphors., Like the fluffy fluff., Lonely Min Yoongi, Lonley Jung Hoseok, Lonliness., M/M, Mean Ass Bitch Ass Jungsoo, Mean Managers, Mean Trolls, Middle Of The Night Heart To Hearts, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Bad at Feelings, MinJoon being Hipsters, Minjoon Cuddles, NamGi bromance, NamJin smut, Namgi Handholding, Namjoon is a goddamn inpiration, Namseok Cuddles, Not Deadly Sick, OT7, OT7 Love, Panic Attack, Paranoid Jin, Peacemaker Hobi, Perfect Hyung Jin, Philosopher Min Yoongi, Pining Jimin, Protective Kim Seokjin | Jin, Protective Namjoon, Sad Jeon Jungkook, Sad Jimin, Sad Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Sad Jungkook, Sad Kim Namjoon | RM, Sad Min Yoongi | Suga, Sad Park Jimin, Sad bangtan, Saesangs, Scared tae, Self Esteem Issues, Shy Kim Taehyung | V, Sick Kim Namjoon | RM, Sick Min Yoongi | Suga, Sleepy Cuddles, Sope, Sope Cuddles, Sugakookie, Tae Comes Out, Tae With Kids, Tae being Tae, Tae snaps, TaeJin - Freeform, TaeJin Cuddles, Taejin Bromance, Taemin Cameo, Threatening behavior, Threesome, Timid Tae, Unicorn fluff, Vmin Comfort, Vmin Freindship, Vmin bromance, Vmon - Freeform, Yoongi Flips Out, Yoonminseok cuddles, angry yoongi, bad nightmares, blowjob, body issues, bts love, comforting jungkook, creepy fans, fight me, hand holding, hopekook, injured namjoon, jihope - Freeform, jikook - Freeform, jinhope - Freeform, jinkook - Freeform, jinmin - Freeform, late night walks, lee taemin - Freeform, lil bit of blood, minjoon - Freeform, namgi, namjin - Freeform, namkook, ot7 cuddling, platonic cuddles, president Namjoon, pushing, sad jin, self degradation, sick cuddles, sick!jungkook, taegi - Freeform, taekook, taekook fluff, tired hoseok, vmin - Freeform, yoongi to the rescue, yoonjin - Freeform, yoonkook, yoonmin, yoonminhope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:21:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 60,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14845614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoTeaspoonsOfSuga/pseuds/TwoTeaspoonsOfSuga
Summary: A series of stories about the times the members were sad and the others were there to hold them. A thousand stars can swallow the dark, but in this case, seven will do.





	1. Park Jimin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for my girl Alex who wanted sad!Jimin, OT7 comfort and Jin being Momma as fuck. The brighter the star the clearer the target. The trolls are aiming for Jimin, it starts to get to him. (I may or may not have stole a scene from Destiny Is Often Envious Of Us and rewritten it a little. It was 4am dont judge me.

As stars bloom and their light becomes blinding, the darkness becomes jealous of their glow. As much could be said for Bangtan. The bigger they got, the clearer the target. And Jimin with his sweet voice and his shy persona were easy prey to shadows that loomed behind keyboards.

He was becoming the emotional punching bag of Bangtan. Someone that trolls and jealous non-fans could veer their frustrations and cruelty toward. It had become ridiculous.

_“I don’t know why people go on about him he looks like lesbian.”_

_“People think he could stand next to Taemin hahahaha!”_

_“His vocals are weak, no wonder they make bucktooth one do all the vocals.”_

Jimin wasn’t a child. He knew the world could be cruel. The problem was, he thought his time in the hot seat had passed. Now he felt like that chubby seventeen-year-old of 2013, back to square one, he felt the shame and embarrassment crawl up his neck like ice. Everyday he would weigh his body, work out an hour longer than he was told. Stayed up dancing while the others slept. He practiced his vocals every chance, while the others ate or while they hung out, he became light headed and clumsy on his feet, which only served to add to his frustration.

And he told no one of his pain.

He was so sick of being weak.

It was three days before they left for the BBMA’s. Jimin’s head was beyond in the game. He became irritable when Kookie would prod and tease him, he would shrug them off when they came to cling to him. He was barely himself at all.

He twirled for the mirror, a pirouette for Fake Love. To any other eye it was graceful, his arms out-stretched and his fingers curled like a calla lily. But to him his landing was heavy, and his legs were not powerful enough to move him as he wished.

“Yah Jimine, pretty! Now we should…”

“Let me do it again.”

Hobi blinked his eyes.  Jimin tried once more and stumbled. He let out a yell of frustration, drawing the attention of his members. His body was ridged, he paced by the mirror like he was in combat with it. But finally, he stilled. He took a deep breath and tried again. And again. And again.

Until his ankle buckled, and he came crashing to the floor with a dull thud. The other’s stood and Hobi came closer but before they could reach him he was up, pulling back his arm and his fist plummeting into the glass.

Crunch. The silver shattered around his fist

For a long moment nobody moved or spoke. Even Jimin, who was just a shocked at himself as his audience was.

He kept his fist where it was, pressed firm into the wall, the shards slicing and cutting up his knuckles. Until he felt a warm trickle down his forefinger and his hand dropped limp to his side, ribbons of red weaving down his fingers and dripping onto the floor.

Jimin heard someone curse. Namjoon? He didn’t recall…but it was Jin who moved first, cupping his bloodied hand in his own. Jimin looked down at it…gobsmacked.

“What the hell has gotten into you.” Yoongi’s words were neither angry nor were they gentle. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” Jimin’s head stayed bowed in the shadows. “Jimin! Answer me.”

“I’m so sick of not being good enough…” he whispered.

A beat, and then a soft warm hand came to cradle the back of his neck. “In whose eyes Minnie-ah?” Yoongi’s voice was a whisper now and had lost its tense edge. “Anyone of note? Anyone in this room even?”

Jimin shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“I don’t think it’s them who bother you, Minnie.”  Yoongi murmured. “I think it’s you who bothers you.”

Jimin lifted his head, eyes tight with pain and brimmed with unshed tears.  The sight could have broke Yoongi, broke all of them, but it was Jimin who finally broke this time. His face crumbled, and he grabbed Yoongis shirt, staining it with flecks of crimson as he buried his face in the crook of his hyungs neck. He trembled, the singer was wracked with sobs. Painful noises ripped from his throat. His knees buckled but Yoongi had him… he lowered them both to their knees.

The elder held him as his anchor, but soon Jimin felt another body, clinging to his back and nuzzling the nape of his neck. “Jimin-ah…” came Tae’s broken croon. “Jimin-ah… we love you…don’t cry.”

It only served to make him cry harder.

Jin waited until his breathing had steadied before he tugged his wrist. “C’mon sweet boy… lets wrap your hand.” Tae whimpered as Jimin was pulled away from him but Kookie pulled him close instead, back against the mankae’s chest.

Jimin followed blindly, his cheeks sticky with tears and his lips dried out from the saltiness of them. His eldest hyung took him through their house to the kitchen, he perched him on a stool by the sink as the other’s filed in behind him. He moved away to turn the tap, letting the warm water fill the empty bowl.

Jimin felt hands caress his shoulder’s, his hair, arms. Was it strange that Jimin could decipher them without turning his eyes? Maybe…

But Kookie always had such a strong grip on his arm, one that he knew would hold him together. Tae’s touch was always familiar, tracing letters on his wrist below his injured hand. L-O-V-E U, a comforting word from his best friend. Hobi was always one to rub his shoulders, strong and hearty, filling him with energy. Namjoon had one hand on his back, stock still, but there. Always there.

Then Yoongi…his lover carded his hair, slow, calming, his thumb coming down to rub his temple and melt the tension away. He pressed a kiss there after. It was simple, but so intimate and it left Jimin feeling adored…he was safe. He was home.

“Here…” Jin murmured carefully setting the bowl on the counter and pushing Jimin’s sleeve up to his elbow. He cupped his hand as he lowered it into the water. “Ah-ah!” Jimin hissed.

Jin hushed him. “I know, but we need to soak it. To see the damage…”

Jimin sniffled but nodded. “I’m sorry… the mirror, Bang PD will...”

“Will be much more concerned about your hand and your mind set.” Jin murmured lifting his hand from the bowl. “Try not to think about it now… no stitches… a bandage will do. Namjoonie…will you? The little cupboard above the sink.”

Namjoon nodded and his hand disappeared as he went to riffle through the first aid kit. Jimin felt Yoongi’s arms wrap around his waist and pull him back tight against his body. God did it feel right. Very soon Joon was handing Jin the roll of bandage and Jin was winding it around his fist.

“Are you going to tell us when you started to feel like this?” their hyung murmured. Jimin bowed his head. He told them. He told them everything, the trolls, his starving, his late nights, how he felt, how he felt weak and worthless…like a burden they carried with them.

“Yah…that’s why you’ve been so serious!” Hobi chuckled.

“Or why you shouted at me when I teased you…” Kookie’s voice trembled under the weight of guilt. “Hyung…”

“Don’t.” Jimin closed his eyes. “Kookie-ah… please don’t. I could never forgive myself if you tore yourself apart over this. It’s not your fault and I was never mad at you, not really.”

He reached up his good hand and squeezed Kookies on his arm.

“Is…Is that why you wouldn’t let me touch you?” Yoongi asked low, confused against his ear. “Because you didn’t think you were…manly enough? Not handsome enough to satisfy me.”

Jimin said nothing as Jin tied the bow on his bandage. So, Yoongi took his seat, and swivelled him until their eyes were locked in a meaningful gaze.

“Y’know…” Yoongi mumbled brushing Jimin’s dark locks from his eyes. “Every morning that I wake up with your lips on mine, I’m more confused than the morning before.”

Jimin’s brows knitted together, but Yoongi went on, heedless. “It’s so confusing to me…that someone as perfect…” Jimin sucked in a breath his heart swelling. “Some one as beautiful, as sweet and as boundless as you would allow me to hold you as you sleep, or kiss you goodnight, or would trust me to love them.”

Jimin laughed, lashes the last barrier between a fresh set of tears and his skin. He leaned up and pressed a soaring kiss to Yoongi’s lips and the elder used his thumb to cup the tears before they fell.

“Jimin-ah…” Namjoon interrupted softly. “When did you last eat a meal?”

“Um… Taetae? When did we have ramen?”

“Jimin-ah! That was Monday! A week?”

Jimin flushed pink. Ashamed.

“Right…Jimin. You need rest.  Bed, now. I will stay in here and…”

“No…”

“Jimin…” Yoongi whispered.

“No, it’s not- I just mean…can’t we order something? I really…I was hoping we could all lay together, like old times.”

“Yah! A sleep over!” Hobi exclaimed, grin from ear to ear like the Cheshire Cat.

Tae clapped his hands, bounced on his toes. “Oh Namjoon-hyung, Jin-hung… please! It’s been so looooong.” The young singer whined, his bottom lip jutting. Namjoon rolled his eyes fondly and met Jin’s eyes across the counter, shrugging as if to say ‘why not’.

“Fine.” Jin groaned. “But we eat here first. I don’t trust you near their bed sheets Joonie.”

“Hey!”

/

They ate fried chicken in a flurry of giggles and soothing conversation, no one talked of work, or practice or broken mirrors in the dance studio downstairs. They ate, and they talked of what would happen when they were old, and had their long, illustrious careers behind them.

Jimin was comforted to hear them talk like that. To hear them talk of them living the rest of their lives in each other’s company.

“I hope by then they will allow us to marry here.” Yoongi hummed. “I bet you’d look really good in wedding hanbok.”

Jimin’s eyes widened and the others smirked behind their chopsticks.

They split off when it came time to rest, the sun only just setting and each returning to their rooms to change for bed.

A beam of light tried to break into the room through the gap between the curtains, catching dust particles like fireflies in its path. Yoongi pulled it shut, but the sun still filtered through, opaque over the vicinity.

The elder could have thought of nothing better than to sleep. He dressed Jimin in his own t-shirt and whoever’s boxers and himself in a thick hoodie instead. He knew Jimin liked him in hoodies…he was warmer in hoodies. Jimin curled into his chest immediately as he slipped under the covers, both were too weak to do anything more than hold, caress and feel each other.

It was like that for a minute or so, quiet…peaceful, both deep in thought and both unable to break a sleepy gaze. Then there was a soft knock on the door an Hobi wandered in, pillow clutched to his chest.

“Room for a little one?” Jimin looked back at him and reached rear to him, pulling back the cover and patting the spot behind.

Hobi smiled wholeheartedly and crawled in behind the singer. Jimin pulled his arm around both he and Yoongi. It felt nice. Even more weight off his mind now Hobi was near.

It was lucky that they had such a huge bed, as twenty seconds later there was another knock and in waddled Tae and Kookie. They took their place behind Yoongi, him scooting closer to Jimin. Tae threw his leg and clung to them like a monkey.

Eventually there was a third knock. Jin and Joon came shuffling, their eyes heavy with exhaustion. They settled down, Jin behind Hobi, Joon behind Jin and the seven of them, finally safe and close, let slumber take them.

Jimin had never felt so at peace in his entire life. Nothing could touch him here, not the trolls, the haters…not even his own mind could hurt him here in the arms of his family.


	2. Kim Seokjin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So my gal @kyriebitches had the beautiful idea of turning this into a multichapter. Bangtan's eldest Hyung is feeling like a burden to his Doesangs. Bangtan remind him how he inspires them. I swear Jin isn't even my bias.

Though Jin was sad about the way Jimin went about it, he couldn’t help but admire the boy’s determination.  Jin was constantly assured he was talented, that he was wanted in Bangtan, but sometimes he couldn’t help but feel like a burden.

Sure, he cooked, he took care of them at home, made sure they felt safe and loved. But when it came to their work…was he just…an added issue?

He’d lost count of the times Bighit would ask Hoseok or Jimin to stay behind, work with him on a dance he just couldn’t pick up. How many times had they asked Kookie and Tae to guide him through difficult notes? He even took up Namjoon and Yoongi’s time. Too shy to ask PD for another line on his own.

But that was the problem wasn’t it? The root cause off all these predicaments was his complete and utter lack of faith in his own voice. His own talent. One lone star in a sky of thousands was never of much consequence, was it? Especially when there were six much brighter in his vicinity.

It was embarrassing, as their hyung he should be an example. Every time his doesangs would reprimand him, it was another knock to his pride, until he lost his passion all together.

The end of Monday boiled up to him tripping over his feet and pulling his ankle. Jimin and Hoseok were there in seconds and a staff was pressing a cold pack to his sore muscles.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

It was small, so small and pained. He sounded like a child. He sounded lost.

“Don’t be hyungie…” Jimin murmured nudging his arm with his own, Hobi massaged his calf to make sure his muscles stayed loose. “It’s okay, hyung.”

“Is it?” Jin rasped. The two dancers turned their eyes up to him and then to each other.

“Hyung…” Hobi murmured as he rubbed his thigh.

“I should probably rest this.” Jin sighed, trying to hide the tremble in his lip. He pushed himself to his feet. It was sore, but not unbearable.

“Hyung, do you want us to come with you?”  

Jin shook his head and ruffled Jimin’s hair. “I’ll see you for dinner. Try not to come late hm? I’m making my stew I think…”

“Hyung…don’t cook tonight.” Hobi told him. “You seem upset, you seem tired. You should just rest.”

“Hobi-ah, if I don’t cook for you all, then I will be of less use to you than I am now.”

Hobi cocked his head and Jimin furrowed his brow. “Use…hyung you…”

“I’ll see you tonight, Jimin-ah.”

He hobbled his way down the corridor, an assistant with his arm slung around Jin’s shoulders, he guided him out into a waiting car. Jin thanked a dozen Gods when the man didn’t mention his tears.

/

When Jin got like this, there was only one person he didn’t feel embarrassed to be around. Namjoon had shared everything with him. The seemingly unbreakable leader had fallen apart in his arms a thousand times over, Jin too crying for his lover. If anyone wouldn’t judge him for this, Namjoon wouldn’t.

He rapped gently against the door of his studio. A muffled and distracted response came seconds later. “Mm yeah?”

Namjoon was by his computer, scribbling on his pad, balls of paper littering the desk and the floor around his seat. He glanced up, the harsh lines between his brow smoothed just a little.

“Hey…”

Jin blinked as Namjoon moved to his computer, typing something. “Hey… do-do you have a moment?”

Namjoon made a noise, mind lost to his lyrics. “I’m a little busy baby…what do you need?”

“A hug?”

Namjoon’s head whipped around. God…Jin’s voice, that little shake was enough to have the leader up from his seat in a blink. It hurt him. It moved him.

He cupped the back of Jin’s head as the elder’s tears tumbled into silence. He sniffled into the taller’s neck. “Thank you…”

“Stop, you don’t have to thank me for this.” Namjoon’s thumb traced the shell of his ear. “What happened. Do you want to talk about it?”

Jin shook his head. “No…but um…can you make love to me Joon-ah?” he lifted his head, eyes rimmed with red. “I know you’re busy but…I-I just…I need…”

Namjoon pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Hush…It would be my privilege as always.”

Jin smiled, through his flood of tears. His first genuine smile of the day. “Thank you.”

“Stop…stop…” Namjoon’s hand traced Jin’s sides, bringing goose- bumps to the elder’s skin in troves. He backed him up against the wall, their foreheads pressed close. “Stop thanking me…its too much. Theres nowhere else I’d rather be than here with you. Yes?”

Jin swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded, gentle, barely a twitch of the head. Namjoon peppered his pretty face in loving kisses. “Namjoonie…” the elder choked, his hands trembling as they settled on his shoulders.

“Shh let me make it better. Let me help Jin-ah.”

Something seemed to change in Jin at the last phrase from Joon’s lips. He froze up and when Joon’s lips left his neck, Jin pushed him back gently. “I shouldn’t do this…you’re busy.”

“I’m never too busy for y-“

“You’re busy Joon-ah. I’m sorry for disturbing you.” He leant up and pressed a soft kiss to Namjoon’s cheek.

“Jin…”

But the door was already closed behind him.

/

_Chim: Theres something wrong with Jin Hyung._

Kookie: What do you mean? Is he sick?

** Hobi: No…a bit of a pulled ankle, nothing much wrong with his health. But he’s not… **

Joon: Not what?

_Chim: He’s not himself at all. He’s so sad today…he kept saying strange things._

**_Tae: But Jin Hyung always says strange things._ **

** Hobi: Not things in humour. He was almost… **

**Yoons: Self-deprecating?**

_Chim: He’s said something to you too, serange?_

**Yoons: In his way. I told him he looked handsome this morning. He didn’t seem very happy. ‘Well at least theres that.’ He seemed upset about it, being called handsome.**

Kookie: Yah. Jin-Hyung did? Something really is wrong.

_Chim: He was apologising so much earlier. For falling, for making mistakes. He sounded so small. It made me sad._

** Hobi: When Jimin-ah told Hyung it was okay, he just said ‘is it?’. **

Joon: PD have been working him hard lately, they really want him to improve. PDs keep coming in to observe him too.

**Yoons: You think he feels self-conscious.**

Joon: I think he feels like he’s letting us all down.

**_Tae: Jin-Hyung! Never._ **

Kookie: He’s working so hard. He’s getting so much better. Why would he think that?

**Yoons: He’s a Hyung, asking your doesangs for help, it can be hard on your pride…your self-esteem,**

_Chim: He feels bad for that? For asking for our help._

Joon: I think he feels bad for needing it.

Joon: Whenever I’d ask you guys to help me, with writing or dancing or whatever, it made me feel inadequate. Like a bad leader. As your leader I was supposed to take care of _you_. It made me feel I was failing you that way.

Joon: I can imagine it being the same. He is the eldest after all.

Joon: He was crying…earlier. He cried. But he wouldn’t let me…help him feel better.

**_Tae: My heart…_ **

_Chim: We should do something. Prove to him he’s our strong, brave Hyung._

**Yoons: Hm you know what’s better than six opinions?**

**Yoons: A million.**

**_Tae: Huh?_ **

Kookie: ARMY? 

** Hobi: Yah! Our ARMY! **

_Chim: Our kind ARMY._

Joon: You know what…let’s use out talents for our Hyung.

Joon: Show them they’ve only grown thanks to him.

/

It had been quiet since Jin had returned to his room. The dull throb of his ankle wasn’t bothering him anymore…but the aching pain of his loneliness was suffocating.

His phone buzzed against his side table, jolting him back from his reverie. Lazily he pawed for it.

 

Joon: Look at Twitter.

**_ Jinnie: Why? _ **

Joon: Trust me.

 

Jin sighed and closed the chat. He tapped on the tiny Twitter icon.

What he was met with stopped the beating of his heart in it’s tracks. Worldwide Trends, number one: #WorldWideHandsomeOurWorldWideStar

Jin pushed himself up onto his elbows. There were hundreds of thousands of Tweets under this tag.

“Kim Seokjin, most beautiful man, inside and out!”

“Your voice makes me cry, it’s so beautiful.” “Thank you for being you, for giving us your time, your love and your talent. Thank you for being the best big brother for our boys. You’re amazing. I love you.”

“It’s so cute the members did those things for him! Bangtan is family.”

Jin’s eyes widened as he clicked off to their Twitter profile.

“Yah…” he whispered, tears coming to his eyes as he saw six separate tweets. The first from his mankae.

Today belongs to our Kim Seokjinie. Our Hyung, you raised me to become a man, I owe all I became to the hyungs, but most of all to you. Because you loved me and took care of me without fail, even when it was hard for you. You never made me feel as if you were more important. You never used your age against me. We we’re equals in your eyes. But in mine, you’re above me and always will be. I don’t know how to put these things. So anyway, here is something I made for you. #WorldWideHandsomeOurWorldWideStar

 Underneath was a video of 10 minutes. Jin sniffled, he laughed, he blushed. A compilation of their moments together, both before and after debut. Some from official videos, some from their private time together. His mankae was celebrating him. It was heart-breakingly sweet. He wished he could tell his Jungkookie just how proud he was of who he had become. But that was for later…

For now, he moved to Tae. Sweet, child-like Taehyung. Of course, he would do this, what an enigma he was sometimes. He’d posted a drawing, it was very innocent, the nature of his gift was rooted in youth. Like a son bringing a drawing home to his father. But the way he drew Jin…he made him look from another world. He drew strength and ethereality into his expression, he drew a galaxy of stars around him. A galaxy for Jin, for him to hold in his palm.

**_“Hyung! I miss your smile. I love to see you happy. ARMY, our Hyung is more than what he seems! As we’ve grown with each other, I’ve seen all his layers. I love each just as much as the last. The centre of Bangtan and our entire universe. We love you Hyung! #WorldWideHandsomeOurWorldWideStar”_ **

“I love you too.” Jin murmured his heart soaring. He scrolled up. Jimin. An angel if he ever knew one. Of course, he would turn the spotlight to Jin like this.

_“Hyung, who I love with all my heart. Your voice brings me joy, you are much stronger than you think, Hyung. When I am with you I feel safe. You become more talented by the day. I wish you would see that. I think you are endless Jin-ah. But anyway, I’ll stop now, I will show you more in Hopes post. For now, ARMYS, hear hyungs beautiful voice. #WorldWideHandsomeOurWorldWideStar”_

Jin raised his brow. His voice?

He tapped the play button. At first all he saw was Jimin, his index finger to his lips and his cheek pressed to the bathroom door.

Then he heard it. That little…

Jin’s voice came through from the bathroom, pure, clear. As he belted out the notes for his chorus of The Truth Untold, Jimin’s eyes widened.

“Yah…” he breathed. He let Jin sing, staring in wonder through the lens. He joined him at the final line, harmonising beautifully with his Hyung.

“But I still want you…” he grinned. “Yah…Hyung, Bangtan wants you. ARMY wants you. Fighting!”

The clip came to an end and Jin pushed himself into a sitting position, tears on his cheeks and a smile curving his lips.

Hobi’s post made him laugh out loud at first.

“ **Jin-aaaaaah! Yah why would you hurt us like this. Depriving us of your handsome face all day. Hm? You know… you inspire me more often than you think. You may doubt your body, or your dance skills. But really…you can feel the music better than most…Sometimes just your essence can inspire me, your positivity, your heart…I think I can explain better like this. #WorldWideHandsomOurWorldWideStar”**

This is what Jimin had mentioned. It started off with a clip of Jin messing around, being silly…dancing about. Then as he hit a dramatic pose, the screen faded to Jimin and Hobi, from the same pose Jimin fell into a roll, coming up much like he would in Spring day, just above a sleeping Hobi. He tugged the elders arm and Hobi came to life as the music came trickling through the speakers. Another clip, slowed…Jin laughing and freestyling a funny dance. Each time Jimin would work it gracefully into the choreography and trigger a chain reaction from his partner.

So…Jimin was Jin, every move he made, it took Hobi with him. He moved him.

By this point it was all almost too much. When he moved to Yoongi’s post he was trembling a little.

**“You know I’m no good at this, Hyung. It’s… hard for me to explain my feelings. Me and you have a similar situation. We were the mankaes of our birth families and we are the hyungs of our Bangtan family. We had five doesangs, their wellbeing wrapped around our shoulders. I know sometimes you will feel as though you are failing them. Sometimes I feel the same. But you aren’t. You aren’t failing anyone Hyung. I promise that. And if you don’t believe me, their love for you should be testament enough. I don’t really know how to explain how I love you with words, so I made you a little something. A song. #WorldWideHandsomeOurWorldWideStar.”**

The song file was attached underneath. He laughed at first. It felt like an old movie track jaunty and energetic…but slowly the instruments faded out until there was just the guitar. Every time the guitar would strum a tune, the piano would answer it. It felt like a conversation, intimate in the way two brothers were. It was the kind of vulnerability he knew Yoongi tried to hide from the public. It meant the world that he had shared that with them…for Jin’s sake.

The last member…their leader. His lover. His rock. Namjoonie. He posted a screen cap of his message.

“My Seokjinnie, I have too much to say, too much for the little characters that Twitter allow.  You are the light of my life. The bright star that guides Bangtan on. Every day you have given me something new to fight for. You’ve made me want to become a better dancer, a better writer, a better rapper. You’ve made me want to become a better man. I want to be a better man so that I can give you the kind of love you deserve. That you all deserve.

But most importantly, you made me want to be happy again. I always had a glimpse of that when you were near, and even in my darkest hours you could make me happy or bring joy to my heart. I don’t think you realise how special that is. How special you are.

Bangtan would never live without you. As a band and as people. We need you Jin-ah. We need your voice, we need your heart, we need you.

So, when you’re ready, please come outside.”

Sweeping droplets from his cheeks, he fumbled toward the door, pulling it open. It was…it was  all too much.

His doesangs stood before him. Jimin clutched a cake, chocolate iced and covered in strawberries. Tae and Hobi held cardboard signs, scribbled on with sharpies. ‘WorldWide Handsome.’ ‘Our WorldWide Star’. Yoongi and Kookie held an array of balloons in different shades of pink. Namjoon held flowers. A bunch of pink roses that he held out toward Jin, soft smile dimpling his cheeks.

Jin pushed the flowers aside, cupped Namjoon’s face and kissed him. “I love you.” He sniffled his hands trembling. “Yah…I love you all…come here.” He pulled them in and lifted his phone. Without drying his tears, he took a picture.

**_ “Family doesn’t end in blood. I purple ARMY. I purple Bangtan <3” _ **


	3. Min Yoongi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Yoongi, small things elicit a big response, especially when he catches a nasty cold.

 Three days after Jin-gate, Bangtan’s eldest Hyung received word that his grandma had died in the night. It was a hard blow for him. And with Jin being out of action and Namjoon busy looking out for him, much of Namjoon’s responsibilities were left to Yoongi. It wasn’t that Yoongi minded, he was always offering to take care of things for his eldest doesang. His Hyung instincts weren’t a thing he could easily subdue. But when Yoongi became stressed, self-care seemed to deteriorate. He would sleep restlessly for a mere three hours. He would work as he ate, often letting his food go cold. He would spend a lot of time alone, hoping desperately he could get it all done before Namjoon had a chance to be worried about it.

Yoongi was amazing at caring for others and terrible at caring for himself. So, when he woke on the Thursday after Jin-gate, with a migraine and a dry throat, he shrugged it off as he always did.

He was fine.

The day had started with Dance Practice, four hours of high intensity (with Hobi and Jin) until he was left with sweat beaded skin, burning lungs and a full body ache that just wouldn’t budge. He dropped to his bum with a thud, gasping in his air and whining as he rolled his neck. A sharp pain shot up from the base to his skull.

His audible gasp caught Hobi’s attention, he turned away from Jin and dancer-nim, now focused on his Hyung.

“Yah…did we tire you out Min-Suga?” he laughed dropping down beside him. Yoongi didn’t answer at first. He let his face scrunch like a paper ball and cupped the back of his head. “Hyung you look tired…”

“Mm.” he tried to massage the pain away, but, reaching back played havoc with his tense muscles.

“Where does it hurt, Hyung?”

Yoongi pressed his lips together. “I can deal with it.”

Hobi breathed a laugh. “I know you can deal with it, but that wasn’t the question.”

When Yoongi looked up he was met by a wry smirk and a raised brow. “My neck.” He mumbled, pink colouring his cheeks. “From the base to the skull…it’s in pain.”

“A twinge?”

Yoongi grunted his yes. Suddenly Hoseok was scooting over to the corner of the room and digging through his backpack of supplies. He returned with a heat pack. Yoongi twitched a grateful smile and held out his hand for it. Hobi snorted, he batted Yoongi’s hand away and pressed the pack against the base, as his fingers kneaded the muscles up the column of sore tendons.

Yoongi relaxed, his body deflating and he closed his eyes, let Hobi take care of him. It was nice.

“Thank you…” he murmured.

“Anything for grandpa.”

Hobi laughed and ducked the hand that swatted him. Yoongi whined as it pulled his tired muscle and coughed heartily when it took the breath from him.

“You sure it’s just your muscles Hyung?”

Yoongi nodded.

Later that evening when Hobi returned to the dorm after a full day of dance, there was a tiny envelope on his bed, followed by a note.

**“Thanks – Y x”**

Hobi unravelled the ribbon around the paper and ripped the seam. Inside were two plane tickets in his mother, father and sister’s names, as well as an accepted request to declare an animal.

Mickey.

Another note was attached **. “You told me you missed them…”**

“Aish…our Suga.” He beamed.

/

The same night Yoongi’s head was swimming, his eyes blurring as he stared at the screen, something was off with the bassline, it kept bending in pitch and the sound wasn’t helping the growing pain between his brows.

He groaned and buried his face in his arms. He’d just rest….just…just rest and…

Twenty seconds on and he had fallen into a deep, restless sleep. He could have been there all night, if it wasn’t for Kookie, who had come to ask him something and tease him with the camera.

He smiled upon seeing the elder. “Ahh ARMY…Suga-hyung is here.” He told the phantom audience. “Doesn’t he look innocent as he sleeps?”

But then Kookie frowned. Yoongi looked kinda…warm. He dropped the camera and placed it on the piano stool, his hand coming up to press against Yoongi’s forehead. He felt warm too, much to warm.

Kookie made a quiet noise of contemplation. He needed to get Yoongi out of his hoodie and into bed.

He pulled Yoongi upright, ignoring the elder’s groan and letting him slump on his shoulder as he helped him out of his jacket. He folded it and lay it over the headrest of his chair

“Help me out a little, Hyung…” the mankae whispered. “I need you to put your arm around my neck.”

“S’fine…” he rasped. “M’fine…can walk.”

Kookie nodded and stepped back as Yoongi hauled himself to his feet, but with one dizzy step, his world was shifting, and he was falling boneless against the younger. Kookie laughed. “Here…”

The mankae pulled Yoongi’s arm to hook around his neck. He swept him up into his arms without blinking. And even as he flopped against Kookie’s chest, the elder protested. “M’fine…lemme jus-“

“Aish, you’re so stubborn Hyung. Just let me take you to Jimin-ah.”

After that Yoongi didn’t protest much. Seeing Jimin right now was all he needed. “Why’d you come…” his voice was so soft, it made Kookie ache a little. Poor Yoongi-ah.

“Doesn’t matter now Hyung. I just wanted a message for Namjoonie’s birthday video. We’ll film it when you feel better.”

Yoongi hummed as Kookie toed open the door to he and Jimin’s room. The younger was already in bed, curled around Yoongi’s pillow, eyes scrunching as the hall light swept over him.

“Jiminie-hyung!” Kookie nudged him with his toe and Jimin stirred. His bleary eyes blinked and focused in on the scene around him. Then he saw Yoongi and he was up, running his fingers through his tousled hair and pulling back the covers.

“What happened?” he mumbled.

“Found him in the studio…I think he’s getting a fever.” Kookie poured Yoongi like a puddle next to Jimin, and the dancer was pressing his cool hands against Yoongi’s cheeks. “Here…”

Kookie handed a bottle of chilled water from Yoongi’s minifridge. Yoongi’s hand had already found its way to Jimin’s shirt, clutching at it needily.

“Thank you, Kookie-ah.” the dancer murmured pushing Yoongi’s damp hair from his forehead. Kookie just nodded, he patted the rapper’s arm.

“Get well, Hyung.”

Yoongi cracked his lashes open in response. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. Kookie knew he was grateful.

And the next morning to confirm it, Kookie’s phone buzzed, rousing both he and Tae. He peered over at the text.

**Yoons: I recorded my message and uploaded the file to your laptop…my face is a little swollen and my voice is kinda scratchy. But anyway, thank you for taking me to Minnie last night, Jungkookie. I’ll see you later for recording.**

Kookie breathed a sigh of something between awe and disbelief.

Tae licked his lip and nuzzled against Kookie’s collar bone. “Mm, whozat?”

“Yoongi-hyung.”

“He better?”

Kookie shook his head. “No…and he’s being way too sweet. What is it with you Daegu men.”

“We looooove our Busan boys.”  He crawled up Kookie’s body and pressed a sleepy kiss to his lips.

/

Yoongi’s legs took him on auto piolet to the kitchen. He was up early, PD’s had contacted him yesterday and asked for a meeting to discuss production of new tracks. Early morning was the only time available. With the sun barely risen yet and his mind groggy, it was inevitable he’d stub his toe on the door frame.

“Ah! Shit! Fuck!”

“Language.”

Yoongi jolted so hard it made him dizzy and his head throb between his eyes. “Jin-ah?”

Jin nodded. “I’m not happy about you going into work so early, I’m not happy about you going at all. But I know I can’t stop you so…you are at least getting a good breakfast in you before you leave.”

Jin rubbed his tired eyes as Yoongi’s heart swelled in his chest. His Hyung was really so kind to him.

“Sit down Yoongi. Before you fall over.”

Yoongi lifted himself weakly into the stool seat. “You didn’t have to…”

“I want to.” Jin scooped the poached egg into the warm soup, pushed the bowl in front of Yoongi and poured him some orange juice. “Eat up.” He demanded.

Yoongi nodded. “Thank you…”

“Your welcome. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

“Yoongi-yah. I’m not one of your doesangs.”

Yoongi sighed pushing his shower damp hair from his face. “Tired, my body hurts…my head is spinning.”

Jin nodded. “I’ll ring PD and ask if you can have tomorrow free.”

Yoongi blinked. Jin was someone who nearly never spoke to PD, believing fully that his opinion wouldn’t matter. He was uncommonly shy about such things. So, the fact he would outwardly ask such a thing on Yoongi’s behalf, it humbled the rapper.

Jin laughed and ruffled Yoongi’s hair in his silence. “You need to learn to care for yourself Yoongi.”

He moved over to the window ledge and pulled the crumbling pink roses from the vase. “Shame…” he murmured. “I liked having flowers in the house.”

At around lunch time when Jin had finished vocal training and returned home, he was greeted by three huge bunches of flowers, a notecard tucked into the leaves.

**“Hyung, thank you for feeding me, without you Bangtan would have withered. I appreciate it…really. -Y x”**

“Yah.” Jin beamed, burying his nose in the petals.

/

After only ten minutes recording, the PD had sent Yoongi to eat and rest. Yoongi ended up instead curled up in the dressing rooms while Jimin reluctantly recorded his parts instead. His stomach rumbled, and it was almost painful how much his body craved food. But he was too wobbly to do anything about it.

Thankfully his saviour came in the form of Tae, whom had run out to collect some noodle soup, lettuce and fresh fruit to sooth Yoongi’s throat.

He tapped Yoongi’s cheek as he set the paper back down next to his head. “Suga-Hyung. I’ve got food!”

“Yah! So loud.”

Tae chuckled. “Sorry, Hyung!” he breathed. “Will you sit up?”

Yoongi peeled himself from the seat and slumped back against the sofa. He whined as a cold set of fingers cupped his chin. “What’re you doing…” he murmured.

He opened his eyes to a bottle of water by his lips. “Drink, Hyung.”

There was a beat before Yoongi parted his lips and let the cold water calm his throat. “Hm, this is humiliating.”

Tae giggled, his eyes shining. “I think it’s cute, its nice I get to look after you Hyung.”

Yoongi felt a surge of fondness for Taehyung. “So, you wouldn’t rather be playing Overwatch with Kookie-ah?”

Tae shrugged. “That would be nice too, if the TV I bought for our room hadn’t broken.”

Yoongi nodded, arms folded and eyes wandering off thoughtfully.

“Aish! Don’t you dare, Hyung!”

Yoongi blanched. “Excuse me?”

“I can see your mind working. Don’t think I haven’t heard of your little spree of thank you gifts! We don’t ask for them Hyung! You-you shouldn’t feel you have to thank us…”

Sometimes, Yoongi thought, Kim Taehyung really surprised him. People took him as stupid. But the thing with Taehyung was, he wasn’t…he was just distracted with a million other thoughts. Taehyung was intuitive. “I don’t.” Yoongi sighed. “Don’t worry, I don’t feel…obliged.”

Seemingly appeased, Taehyung went back to feeding him segments of tangerine.

It still didn’t stop the HD, curved, plasma screen that showed up three days later.

/

After Taehyung had left to record his harmonies with Jimin, Yoongi decided to drop in on Namjoon, to see if he needed any help.

Unfortunately, the phrase ‘drop in’ was quite literal, pushing through the door took so much of his energy, that he ended up with a thud, in a heap on the floor.

Namjoon was cursing and falling to his knees next to him, lifting Yoongi’s head and using his lyric sheet to fan the air into his lungs.  

“Shit…” Yoongi moaned. “Sorry…”

Namjoon spoke through gritted teeth as he used his sleeve to dab Yoongi’s damp forehead. He was burning up again. “Hyung you’re going home.”

“I’m fine…”

“You’re not fine! Stop saying you’re fine!”

Yoongi blinked, languid, lazy. “Namjoon-ah…”

The leader sighed. “I’m sorry…I’m just…I’m tired. With Jin out of action and you’re sick and I just want you to rest but we’re so busy and…”

“Okay.”

Namjoon turned his eyes up. “Huh?”

“Okay. I’ll go home.”

Namjoon’s cheeks dimpled ever so slightly and he helped Yoongi sit up. “Thank you… You want me to come with you?”

“You’re busy here just…put me in a car. And send Minnie as soon as he can come.”

But Namjoon worried his bottom lip between his teeth. “Actually, I could do with the air Hyung. I’ve been cooped up all day and…”

“And you’re worried about me.” Yoongi sighed rubbing his eyes with his fist. “If-if you want to come you can Namjoon-ah, I won’t refuse you.”

Namjoon blushed and nodded. He helped a shaky Yoongi to his feet and held onto his hand even as he gathered his things.

It was something about Yoongi that had surprised Namjoon at first. He liked to hold hands. The first time he’d done it Namjoon thought his hand caught his fingers by accident. Joon pulled his hand back right away to avoid embarrassment. But Yoongi had looked confused, hurt passing over his expression and furrowing his brow. It was so heart wrenching that Namjoon had taken the elders hand every time after, without question.

It was Yoongi’s way of saying ‘I love you’…or ‘Comfort me’, or even just ‘I’m happy’.

In the car, Yoongi pressed his cheek to the cool window, he napped fitfully, and he never let go of Namjoon’s hand.  

Even when the elder was hoisting him up to bed, even as he stripped him down and dressed him in cool clothes. Even when he was under the sheets Yoongi didn’t want to let go.

“Hey, hyung it’s okay…. Jin’s home, and Jimin will be back soon I promise.”

Yoongi whined but let go of his hand. “Kay…”

His lip jutted out a little. Namjoon felt awful for his Hyung. There was nothing more frustrating to Yoongi than when there was work piling up and his body was intent on it staying that way.

“Hyung I will stay with you… until Jimin comes.”

“Joon-ah…”

“I want to. And before you think about it theres nothing I want for it, nothing you could buy, nothing you could do for me. I will stay with you because my mind won’t be at rest if I leave you here.”

Yoongi’s expression remained unmoving. But as Namjoon dropped down cross legged by the bed, he held out his hand and Namjoon took it.

They sat like that until Jimin’s hands graced his skin.

/

Namjoon liked to walk, he was quite looking forward to the walk back to Bighit. It was a nice day, sunny, clear, but with a breeze that tickled his neck in the most pleasant of ways.

Buzz.

Namjoon stopped on his way into the coffee shop to retrieve his phone.

 

  _Bang PD: Don’t come back to the office Joon-ah. You have tomorrow and the rest of the day free_ **_._ **

Namjoon: Oh…but I thought there were logistics we had to go over for the tour?

_ Bang PD: Suga-ah told me you were too exhausted. So, we arranged for you to have a day to rest and be with Jin-ah.  _

Namjoon: He’s crazy with fever. It’s him who needs rest!

_ Bang PD: There’s a reason we called him Suga. _

_ Bang PD: Underneath those walls, he’s all sweetness. Joon-issi, rest. _

/

Yoongi was awoken by something cool and damp against his cheeks.  His eyes fluttered, the sunflare merging into a kaleidoscope of colour. He saw only colours and silhouettes. The coolness was pressed into his forehead, like heaven on his skin.

Slowly his eyes shifted into focus, the figure shaking like a mirage before his vision settled.

“An angel…” he whispered.

Jimin’s lips bent into a smile. “Mm, you must be fever dreaming my love…”

“I see my Jimin-ah” he grated. “I see my angel.”

Jimin’s eyes surrendered to the wonder, an awe he had for his lover. “How’re you feeling?”

“Tired…but I feel better with you here.”

His fingers slid gently between Jimin’s and he brought the younger’s knuckles to his lips. Jimin shook his head bemused. “I love you…” he chuckled. “I think the fever is breaking… how is your throat?”

“Sore…but I’ve not coughed yet…so...”

Jimin nodded, combed Yoongi’s hair from his forehead, fingers scratching his scalp. Yoongi moaned, it felt so nice. “How about your head?”

“A little ache, not like before… I don’t feel dizzy anymore.”

“Good…” he whispered, dunking the rag back in the water bowl and wringing it out.

“How long have you been here with me Jimin-ah?”

Jimin pressed the home button on his phone. “About six and a half hours.”

Yoongi made a low noise of protest. “Jimin-ah…have you eaten? What about-“

Jimin cupped his cheeks with his cold palms. “Stop…stop right there, Min Yoongi. Jin brought me food and I don’t want to be anywhere else. For once please focus on yourself. I am okay. I just want my Yoongi-yah to feel better.”

 Yoongi couldn’t keep his burning eyes off Jimin as he patted down the side of his neck. He was so beautiful, so precious up there.

“Jimin-ah.” The younger met his eyes. “If you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be.”

Jimin shot him a knowing look. “Your heart.” He answered simply.

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “You have my heart?”

“Then what else could I need.” “What about…”

“Hyung…” Jimin sighed. “There is nothing more you could give me. I don’t want time off, I don’t need flowers, if there were anymore, Jungkookie’s eyes would be streaming with his allergies. I don’t need any favours. My family saw me not eight days ago. I don’t need anything but your heart and if I have that, then I am completely and unequivocally happy.”

Yoongi shifted on his pillow. “Aish…I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” The reply was instant. “Now… wait here. We need to get some dinner in you…”

Jimin lifted himself from the bed and set the bowl aside. Just as he reached the door he heard Yoongi again.

“One day I’ll marry you. I swear.”

Jimin stopped dead and turned his head, his pretty eyes wide with wonder.  Then his face split into a smile. “Min Jimin sounds nice.”

“Or Park Yoongi”

“Park-Min Jimin” “Park-Min Yoongi”

“Perfect…” Jimin breathed. “But for now, dinner.”


	4. Kim Namjoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Namjoon just can't relax, sometime he's just sad even when they world seems perfect. Bangtan teaches him thats okay.

Namjoon would be forever grateful for this. Min Yoongi knew him better than he knew himself. But the thing was, when he had only 24 hours to rest, he became more anxious about resting than anything else in the shaddowy recesses of his mind. Years of his role as leader in Bangtan had rendered him very highly strung, it was almost impossible for him to relax. Or to enjoy being happy.

When he woke,he woke even earlier than Jin, he smiled down at his man whose full lips were parted, face smushed against the pillow. He leant down and kissed his forehead, then he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and ruffled his hair into submission. The sun was barely coming up, an orange painting Namjoon’s skin darker than usual.

He sighed. So much for a lie in. He pushed off the bed as quietly as he could and opened his draws to find something to wear.

“What do you think you’re doing Kim Namjoon?” Came a voice like rough velvet. Namjoon tensed and turned back to his lover, who was blinking up at him blearily.

“Couldn’t sleep…”

“That doesn’t mean you have to leave me in bed all alone.” Jin murmured, a slight pout puckering his lips. “Pass me my glasses?”

Namjoon smiled bashfully and scooped Jin’s glasses from the side table. Jin thanked him as he carded his hair and sat himself up. He pushed his glasses down his nose.

Namjoon smiled. He would always love Jin like this. It pained him that he couldn’t wear those over sized glasses more often. God, he looked so cute.

The leader’s fingers caressed the back of Jin’s head, letting the hair tousle between them. The elder’s beautiful lips bowed into a sleepy smile. “Hmm…”

“You look beautiful.”

“I’ll bet my face is swollen.”

“A little. Still…you look beautiful.”

Jin smiled gratefully up at Namjoon before his forehead fell onto Namjoon’s naked stomach. It was almost enough to make all the tension melt away. Suddenly Namjoon gasped. “Shit…Jin-ah…”

Jin pressed a kiss to his hipbone and squeezed again at the leader’s cock through his sweats. “Does it feel good?”

Namjoon’s jaw went slack and he nodded. “Fuck…fuck.”

Jin smiled innocently, far too innocently as he hooked his fingers under the youngers waistband and tugged them down over his ass and thighs.

“Jin-ah…you don’t have to.”

“Yah, Namjoonie…have you ever thought that I might like having you in my mouth?”

“Y-Yeah?”

Jin chuckled and nodded. “I like it…it feels so nice.” His fist circled Namjoon’s cock, weighty in his palm. He made a soft noise of satisfaction when the leader bucked into the circle. “You’re being impatient darling…” Jin teased, his hand moving steadily over him.

Joon’s large palms cupped the back of his lover’s head and he whined. “Please…please baby.”

Jin smirked and let his tongue flatten and drag up the underside vein. It made Namjoon’s thighs tremble. “Mm…Joon…Joon ah…”

The leader released a choked off sob as Jin’s lips parted and he guided Namjoon’s cock down his throat. “Shit…baby. Hah…”

Jin closed his eyes and pulled back up. He did that for a while, just glided up and down on him like he was born for it, every now and again he’d open his eyes and gaze up at him in wonder. Like Namjoon was the one to be admired in all this.

“Jin…” he breathed when his cock twitched. “Baby…I…I’m so near…”

Jin pressed his tongue to the shaft as he pulled up and off. Then he nuzzled his cock like a goddamn teddy bear, like it comforted him. The thought made Namjoon shiver. “Joon ah…cum on my face.” He whispered, his eyes wide…pleading.

Namjoon made a low possessive noise and cupped his lover’s chin, pulling it up as he stroked himself. Namjoon was a lot less pretty about it, a lot less careful with himself. His hand moved rapidly over his cock and he pressed the tip against Jin’s bottom lip.

Jin for his part rubbed up and down Namjoon’s thighs, almost trying to soothe him, the sweetness of that act was enough for Namjoon to cum. He threw back his head and split all over Jin’s lips, his cheeks and his chin.

A tiny whimper emitted from Jin’s throat as Namjoon let out a shaky breath and threw one last rope against his jaw line.

After that there was a short silence, where, eyes full of awe, Namjoon let his thumbs smear the fluid over Jin’s cheek.

The elder’s hands were still caressing his body, still soothing him. Joon didn’t think he deserved that. “We should take a shower. Yeah? And then I’ll make you something tasty for breakfast.”

“Jin-ah…what about you…”

Jin giggled. “Oh sweetheart…I’m far too sleepy for that.”

But Namjoon’s heart sunk. “But… I want you to feel good.”

Jin furrowed his brow. “I do feel good.”

Namjoon nodded and let Jin pull him toward the bathroom.

/

Once they were showered and dressed in clean clothes, Jin had forced Namjoon onto the couch and stole his phone, so that he wouldn’t be tempted to work. After that he began to prepare breakfast.

The smell seemed to rouse Yoongi from his bed, he padded into the room moments after. He looked a lot better, a little colour returned to his cheeks and his overall energy was upped considerably. The rest had done him well.

“How’re you feeling?” Namjoon murmured as he plonked himself down in the armchair opposite.

“Mm better. Minnie did a good job caring for me.”

“Yeah…we’re lucky right?”

Yoongi smiled sheepish. “Yeah. We’re lucky.” But Yoongi’s eyes passed over Namjoon again as the younger tapped on his thigh his body ridged with tension. “What? What is it.”

Namjoon shook his head. “Huh? Nothing… I’m okay Hyung.”

Yoongi tilted his head. “Yah, you need to clear your head Joon-ah.” He sighed. “We should go for a walk, me you and Jin-Hyung. While the younger ones are at work.”

“I feel bad…” Namjoon admitted, dipping his head.

“What for?”

“I mean, they’re all working so hard. And I’m at home doing nothing. I understand with you and Jin…Jinnie has to recover from his loss, you have to recover from sickness. But I have no excuse to be sitting around and letting our doesangs do all the work.”

Yoongi considered his friend for a moment. “Namjoonie…you know very well that you are up with Jin every morning and out of the house before the rest of us. You know very well that you only end up in bed an hour or two before me…”

“And you also know…” Jin cut in, handing him a plate of steaming food. “That you toss and turn for hours before you actually sleep.”

Namjoon sighed. “Maybe but…”

“But what?”

“I-I don’t know. I don’t know why I can’t enjoy it. But I really don’t know what I’m doing to deserve any of this? I mean ARMY…Bangtan. All this love just for doing my job and god knows why you guys would love me like you do.”

“Namjoonie…” Jin whispered.

“I’m just so fucking lucky and I feel so bad because…I can’t enjoy it. I don’t know why I feel so bad for being this happy. And now I feel bad for getting upset like this because you lost your grandma Jin-ah, and you’re still sick Hyung and I shouldn’t be focusing on me. I-I just…”

“Stop…” Jin whispered, settling down beside his lover and drawing his head into the nook between his neck and shoulder. Yoongi lifted himself from his seat and held out a palm. Namjoon turned his face with a shaky breath, linked their fingers together.

“Namjoon. You need to rest more.” Yoongi told him, settling into a crouch. “And this is why.”

“But I…”

“No. Listen to me. I know how you feel believe me. Every moment I used to spend resting, I’d live with the constant fear that all of it was slip away before I returned. I get that. I get that need to control. And I get feeling guilty for resting while our fans and our brothers are tirelessly working toward our future. But you are human. You are not a machine. Some days you just need to be selfish. Because in the long run, what do you think we’d rather have? A shell of human who is pumping out music like a souless factory worker. Or someone who is alive, who still has passion in his heart.”

Namjoon contemplated Yoongi’s words. In his silence, Jin swept the tears from his cheek and a new voice spoke up from the door way.

“Joon-ah?” Hobi’s forehead crinkled in sleepy confusion. “Joonie…are you crying?”

Namjoon grimaced. “Yeah…sorry if I woke you Hobi…”

But Hobi didn’t say a word in return. He just moved across the room and climbed onto the couch, resting his chin on the leader’s shoulder. Joon laughed and his hands found Hobi’s hair fondly. “It’s fine Hoseokie… I don’t why I’m so upset really.”

Yoongi sighed and rested his forehead on Namjoon’s knee.

“You’re allowed to feel sad for no reason sweetheart.” Jin whispered, kissing his temple. “You shouldn’t question your emotions so much. I wish you would just let yourself feel what you need to.”

Namjoon nodded. “Me too.”

“Mm morning…” Jimin’s gentle voice came from where Hobi’s had. He rubbed his eyes and took in the scene around him. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Yoongi shook his head and held out a hand to Jimin. “Namjoonie’s just feeling a little down baby boy.”

Jimin’s bottom lip jutted and his wide eyes blinked up at Namjoon, who bowed his head bashfully as Jimin knelt next to his lover.

“Have you seen Tae or Kookie yet Jimin-ah?” Jin asked gently. Jimin shook his head. “Will you message them? Tell them that none of us are working today.”

Namjoon furrowed his brow. “But…”

“But nothing. If you can’t be at peace with the other members working, then we all rest together. And I will fight PD until next year about it if I have to.” Jin passed Joon over to the other three as he stood and pulled his phone out of his back pocket, leaving Namjoon behind him, eyes soft with nothing short of adoration.

/

When Kookie and Tae learned of Namjoon’s little breakdown over breakfast, they had both enclosed him in a tight hug and wouldn’t let go. In the end Jin had to pry them away with a pout. They giggled at their Hyung’s envy.

The seven of them did something they never did, and spent most of the day outside, Jin driving them down to a secluded little field of trees by a lake, one  he knew Namjoon escaped to when he needed time to think.

He had taken Jin there once…it was the night he told Jin he loved him. It was the night they first made love. That place opened the leader’s heart.

Being back there, it was a miracle and a blessing to Namjoon’s body and soul. He watched the Mankaes down ahead, as they enlisted Hobi into their scheme. He watched from under his cherry blossom with the love of his life chuckling in his lap.

A string of swears came from the distance, Yoongi was lifted from his comfy position and dragged down to the edge of the water.

“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!”

Of course, the younger four didn’t pay any mind to him and Jimin took the plunge with his lover. Yoongi spluttered as he came back up, but Jimin just laughed. He brought him into a slow, sensual kiss, cupping his cheeks in his little hands.

He laughed against Yoongi’s lips as the other’s splashed down around them. Suddenly, Namjoon looked down at Jin and Jin up at Namjoon.

“Wanna take a dip?” the leader whispered. Jin’s smile grew, making his eyes spangle in the sun.

Namjoon stood, pulling Jin with him. Hand in hand, they barrelled toward the place where the land met the lake. They threw themselves to the water’s mercy, joy in the shrieks that spilled from their lips. In that moment they were young, wild and free, in that moment nothing could touch them. No person, no problem, no demon lurking in the shadows of Namjoon’s ever complex mind.

It would be a day forever etched in Namjoon’s memory.


	5. Kim Taehyung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My headcannon of the Taegi text and how how it happened. Including the rest of the members of course. When Tae is at the end of someone else's anger, he turns into shy/timid/child-like Tae. Namjoon shouts, Tae leaves. The members do their best to get him home.

Tae knew it was all his own fault, he really did. All his goofing around would inevitably one day end in him hurting himself. Today was that day.

Yoongi had told him to get down from the stool, Jin had told him to get down from the stool. Even Hobi was unsure of the precarious legs. But Tae didn’t listen. And he payed for it seconds later, when he landed with a gut-wrenching crack on his bent wrist.

He remembered Namjoon being so mad at him.

“Fuck Taehyung! We told you to get down! Why don’t you ever listen?! Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?!”

In hind sight, Tae knew Namjoon was just stressed. It was just days until their next big performance, days before he had to be on stage in front of millions of eagle eyed viewers, many of which might be happy to see them flop. But Joon’s tone was so shrill, so sharp… and it hurt so much, that despite his best efforts to hold it together, Tae cried.

He saw the guilt immediately flash across Namjoon’s face and the elder sighed, as Jin pressed the ice pack to Tae’s swelling joint.

“Hey…don’t cry. Taehyungie… I didn’t mean to yell.” he whispered as he gripped his shoulder. But Tae kept his head ducked, the little droplets dripping from the end of his nose and clinging to his lashes. He wanted Kookie…he wanted him so bad right now. But he wasn’t here, and Tae felt himself shrink in on himself protectively, like a hermit receding into its shell.

Namjoon swallowed a lump in his throat. “Tae…please don’t cry. God, it makes me feel so bad…”

Tae turned his eyes up, timid. He hated that he was like this. That every time someone so much as raised their voice to him, he’d shrink rapidly all the way back to five-year-old Tae, whose father would reprimand him with every wobble of his lip. _Be a man Taehyung,_ he would tell him.

“I’m sorry, Hyung.” He whispered. “I really am.”

“Shh, I know.” Namjoon promised, fidgeting uncomfortably. “You-You want me to call Jungkookie?”

Tae shook his head. “He has more important things to be dealing with.”

“Taehyungie…” Hobi murmured. “You know Kookie-ah would never think that.”

Tae didn’t answer, but he turned to Jin, voice small. “Hyung…is it broken?”

“I don’t know…” Jin’s voice was gentle. He removed the pack. “Try to flex it for me?”

Tae did so, face tight with strain. He flexed, slowly moved his wrist in loose circles. It was sore, but not unbearable anymore. Jin nodded, satisfied. “I don’t think it’s broke, you probably pulled the muscles badly. We should get a doctor to look you over just in case, but you wouldn’t be moving it like that if it was broken.”

“Okay…” for some reason that revelation didn’t comfort Tae in the slightest.

Jin cupped Taehyung’s cheek. “Everybody makes mistakes Taehyung-ah.”

Yoongi smiled, ruffling his hair gently. “Yeah, how many times has Namjoonie tripped and nearly broken every bone in his body? Thousands.”

Namjoon twitched a smile, but the ever-evolving guilt was still awash over his expression. It was the exact expression Jin had worn as the younger cried back stage after their standoff. And Tae couldn’t watch it. It hurt.

As Jin finished wrapping him up and moved away, he took his chance.

“Tae? Taehyungie?!”

But he was already breaking into a run, throwing open the door and sprinting off into the path of the falling sun.

/

**_13 Unread Messages_ **

Joon: Tae fuck. I’m so sorry I upset you. I’ll make it up to you I swear. Come home?

Joon: Christ you’d think I’d be better at the leader thing by now, and after last week when you were all so sweet to me…

Joon: I’m sorry. I’m really sorry

**_ Jinnie: Please be safe Taehyungie. _ **

**_ Jinnie: I know you need some time to breathe. But please be safe and talk to Joon later? He’s tearing himself apart here. _ **

Kookie: Baby…I’m coming to find you, yeah? Hang on, I’ll be there soon.

Kookie: I love you. So much. Nobody is mad at you, beautiful. Remember that.

** Hobi: Tae-ah, don’t be sad. I can’t be hopeful all on my own, can I? **

** Hobi: Come back home…I need MY hope back. **

_Chim: Taetae! What happened? You hurt yourself? Namjoonie said you were crying._

_Chim: You shouldn’t be out there alone with your wrist all banged up. Kookie is out looking for you…can you tell him where you are? Please?_

_Chim: Tae?_

Joon: Hey… I love you Tae-ah.

 

All those messages, it’s not that they didn’t move Tae in his heart. But he felt so numb in his mind that he just couldn’t find it in himself to move his feet. His thumb stroked the edge of the screen, his hood pulled over his cheeks, so he was cast into shadow. He wanted to text them back…he wanted to put them at ease.

But he felt like such an idiot. A little boy that runs from his problems. He was embarrassed. It wasn’t until he heard a final ding that his perceptions would change.

**Yoons: Tae-ah. I know you’re upset right now but listen to me, just for a moment. I get it. Way more than I think you would realise. You’re ashamed, you become ashamed when the emotions you can’t control come bubbling to the surface. Tae there is no reason to be ashamed. Shame is such a wasted emotion. I thought about how you reacted, after you ran, and the others were all panicking, I thought about why. Then I remembered. I remembered what you told us, that night when Kookie cried, about your Father. How he treated you. I get it, please understand that. My Daegu Father was the same with me. The night after my grandmother died and I cried against Mom’s shoulder, my Father said to me: “Yoongi-ah, you’re a man. Men do not cry. Get a hold of yourself. Your grandmother is dead and there is no amount of crying that will bring her back.” I was nine years old Tae… You know, I think parents are meant to fuck you up a little. Because nobody is meant to be perfect, are they? I’m not perfect, you’re not perfect…even Minnie…who I consider to be the nearest you can get, is perfectly imperfect. And do you know what Tae-ah? That little boy who your father would reprimand, he will always be inside you. Everyone holds in them that child-like fear, that innocence and vulnerability. It’s just that some, like you, carry it on their sleeve. And dya know what? Never lose that, Taehyungie. Because that youthful fear comes hand in hand with your energy, your wonder, that boundless positivity that pours out of you. Bangtan would be lost without it. We need you Tae, we need you as you are. So, do me a favour, yeah? Text your boyfriend. Or Joon. Anyone. Let us know you’re okay.**

**Everyone is different Tae, everyone has their weakness, everyone responds to their given situation in a different way. Joon is not mad at you, if anything, he was scared too. He thought you’d really hurt yourself. He was scared that you were hurt and when Namjoon is scared, he screams. When people shout like that, it’s normally because they care. He loves you Tae. They all love you.**

**And I love you too. A lot. Text Kookie yeah?**

A siren whirred somewhere in the near distance. Tae only realised he was crying, when the cool wind stung the wet warmth against his cheeks. He exhaled a quivering breath, as he looked out over Seoul from his very own mountain top.

He didn’t know why he came to the rooftop, he was terrified of heights. Perhaps that was the point? Face a fear, become a man. He had to admit though, the city was beautiful up here, sparkling as though all the stars in the sky had fallen to Earth and were shining just for him.

As he cried the image blurred. It reminded him eerily of that Van Gogh canvas. ‘Starry Night’. Did he cry too as he looked upon the evening sky? The thought comforted him for some reason.

“Tae-ah…”

The voice was gentle, the tone too high to be one of the elders and too low to be Jimin.  Tae didn’t look up, but swung his legs as they dangled over the ledge.

“How did you find me?”

He heard footsteps approach him and felt the warmth of another body settle next to his. “You left your Snap-maps on. Saw you were at Bighit. I kept climbing the stairs until I found you.”

Tae nodded. “You must be really tired.”

“Not really.”

A hand cupped his jaw, gently turning his face to the left, and then another pushed Tae’s hood back to reveal his face. “My beautiful Taehyungie...” Kookie whispered as he dipped his head down to kiss away the tear drops that now clung to his jaw line. “There you are.”

It was so tender, so damn tender that it broke Tae. His face crumbled like a landslide and he crashed into the mankae, clambering into his lap and burrowing his face in his shoulder, as his body trembled with a series of core deep sobs.   

“I-I’m s-so sorry. I didn’t mean to-to…”

“Shh…Tae.” He soothed, one palm caressing his back and the other cradling his head as he turned them away from the edge. “It’s okay…I promise.”

“Fuck, Namjoonie…is he okay? Does he feel really bad? I didn’t want him to feel bad, it was me who should feel bad for-“

He was silenced with a set of soft lips pressed against his. Not too firm, not too soft. It was a grounding kiss, one to bring him back out of his mind and into the present. “Hyung is fine… they’re waiting up for you. They miss you.”

Tae blushed. “I’ve only been gone two and a half hours…”

Kookie combed Tae’s hair to the side, out of his eyes. “Trust me, that’s enough time to miss you.” A small smile ghosted at the corner of Taehyung’s lips. Kookie cocked his head. “What?”

“Dunno. You just remind me how lucky I am. You look really cute when you’re worried.”

Kookie’s brows knitted together. “I’m not cute. I could lift you above my head without breaking a sweat.”

“Could not.” Tae whispered, a challenge twinkling in his eyes. Kookie raised a brow and Tae’s squeal broke through the din of the cars below, as Kookie lifted him high above his head.

/

**_Tae: Hey Chimchim. I’m fine. My wrist is okay too. Kookie found me. I’ll be back very soon._ **

_Chim: Thank god. Love you Tae…_

**_Tae: Love you too._ **

**_Tae: Hey…I’m really glad you have Yoongi-hyung._ **

_Chim: Yeah? Me too?_

**_Tae: Honestly. Keep him forever._ **

_Chim: I plan to._

**_Tae: Hey Hobi-ah._ **

** Hobi: There’s my Taehyungie! **

**_Tae: I’m here_** **_:*). Hey, Hyung?_**

**_Tae: Am I really your hope?_ **

** Hobi: Really. Even the brightest of us need to be helped out of the dark sometimes. **

**_Tae: My heart._ **

** Hobi: Yah, I’ve been known to do that ;-). Hurry homeeee! **

****

**_Tae: Hey Hyungie… I’m safe. I’m sorry if I made you worry._ **

**_ Jinnie: Shh, as long as you’re okay. _ **

**_Tae: I’m okay. I’m great actually. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to Joon right now. Thank you for wrapping my hand. It feels a lot better._ **

**_ Jinnie: Don’t worry about it. Come home safe. Love you. _ **

**_Tae: Love you most._ **

**_ Jinnie: I disagree. _ **

**__ **

**_Tae: Namjoonie?_ **

Joon: Tae?

Joon: Shit. Hi, are you okay? Did Kookie find you?

**_Tae: Hey. And yes to both. Please don’t worry, Hyung. I’m so sorry!_ **

Joon: Sorry? What for?!

**_Tae: For not listening. For making you feel bad and running away._ **

Joon: Tae, I don’t give a fuck about that. I’m angry at myself more than anything. For snapping at you like that.

Joon: It wasn’t about you…not really. As your leader I shouldn’t have… shouted at you or said those things.

**_Tae: Hyung, you’re so mean to yourself. You’re the best leader. The best Hyung. We couldn’t ask for better. You were stressed and worried. I understand now._ **

**_Tae: I’m nearly home. I want a hug. Can I have a hug?_ **

Joon: Tae…of course you can. You don’t have to ask.

**_Tae: Good :-)._ **

****

**_Tae: Hyung?_ **

**Yoons: Tae.**

**_Tae: You made me cry._ **

**_Tae: For ten whole minutes._ **

**_Tae: I love you too. Thank you._ **

**Yoons: No problem.**

**_Tae: I owe you._ **

**Yoons: You owe me nothing. Just come home.**

**_Tae: I’m nearly home. I’m with Kookie._ **

**Yoons: Good.**

**Yoons: Um…Tae?**

**_Tae: Hm?_ **

**Yoons: Promise you wont tell anyone else what I said? They’ll only tease me,**

**_Tae: :’)_ **

**_Tae: I promise nothing._ **

**Yoons: KIM TAEHYUNG.**

**Yoons: You promise right fucking now.**

**Yoons: Oi!**

**Yoons: TAE!**

**Yoons: You little shit.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick little happy thing! I got an article published! Ahhh. Well two. It may be little but I'm so excited because one is about our boys! An album review for Love Yourself: Tear. I'll link both of them below! Check them out if you want to!
> 
>  
> 
> BTS Article: https://beat.media/why-love-yourself-tear-had-me-in-tears?_ga=2.125535746.908569208.1529148606-478687113.1510181571
> 
> An Honest Cover Letter (To My Future Employers): https://journal.media/an-honest-cover-letter?_ga=2.157648178.908569208.1529148606-478687113.1510181571


	6. Jung Hoseok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was happy…he was. He had to be, right? That was his job, his role. To be happy. No matter how sad, or how lonely he felt in his heart, he must be happy for ARMY. Must be happy for Bangtan. AKA. Jung Hoseok has more than one emotion!

He was happy for them. His brothers, his best friends had found love within the four walls of Bangtan. And that made Jung Hoseok happy. He was happy…he was. He had to be, right? That was his job, his role. To be happy.

No matter how sad, or how lonely he felt in his heart, he must be happy for ARMY.  Must be happy for Bangtan.

/

You know that feeling, when every bone in your body aches, your heart is writhing in your chest and all you need is a hug? God, Hobi felt that to the core right now. Curled up on the sofa alone, he had woken to find the DVD title screen on its loop, and a knit blanket tucked over him, presumably by Jimin or Jin.

He sighed into a lifeless space. Into this barrenness that was the night. Maybe Yoongi was still up? Days like this he would usually sit up on his laptop next to Jimin, once the younger had fallen asleep. He wouldn’t ask for that hug, but maybe he could sit by him.  Feel a little warmth next to him, that would be nice.

Hobi rolled off the cushions and padded down toward their room. Or…Yoongi and Jimin’s room that was. So lost in his sleep still, it was only when he raised his knuckles to knock, that he heard sounds from inside. Breathy gasps, low, shuddering groans and the creak of bedsprings.

A blush warming his cheeks, Hobi pulled away. Ah…so tonight was not a Yoonmin night for him, that was fine he…maybe Tae and Kookie would be awake? Sometimes they would stay up to play Overwatch, only to get scolded the next day by Jin. But maybe they’d let Hobi join?

Once his shadow had passed over the wood, he heard a chuckle. Hobi smiled too, pressing his ear to the door. He could hear gunfire and the familiar theme music. He once again lifted his arm to knock…then a gasp.

“Fuck…” he heard muffled through the door. Kookie. “Tae you…that’s cheating.”

He heard a low hum and a mischievous snicker. “I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Tae…Don’t stop.”

Oh…OH.

Hobi tore away from the door as soon as he realised. Okay so no, definitely not. Namjoon? Jin? His face turned to the door opposite. With the day long like it was today and Namjoon as always working hard, surely he would have no energy to…

Hoseok quietly pressed his ear to the wood, he was relieved that there was silence, nothing but the gentle sound of turning paper. But still, as he knocked and opened the door, a guilt washed over him. Namjoon had his head cradled in the eldest’s lap and Jin’s hand threaded absent mindedly through his hair, propping a book against his shoulder.

_The Picture of Dorian Gray._

Ironic, a story of a man who wore a beautiful mask, but underneath was ugly, his own image destroying him.

Jin lowered his book and Namjoon blinked his eyes open. Hobi noticed then that he hadn’t moved from the door frame.

“Hoseokie?” Jin murmured.

“Oh…uh.” He couldn’t, he couldn’t break them apart, they looked so at rest, so peaceful. And in his mind, he’d only ruin that. “Sorry hyungs. Wrong door.”

He chuckled awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck.  Namjoon’s eyes narrowed, warmer in the orange lamp light. “But you knocked?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah…sorry. I’ll just…”

“Hobi-ah?” Jin called as the dancer turned to leave. “Are you okay? You don’t seem yourself?”

Hobi just slumped and nodded, plastering his trademark grin over his face. “Yah, I’m okay…just a little tired, I think. Maybe it was the wine?”

His hyungs seemed to buy it. “Well, get some rest.” Namjoon murmured, rolling over in Jin’s lap, onto his back. He grinned up at his lover and Jin smirked down at Namjoon. Hobi swallowed the lump in his throat and closed the door behind him.

He went back to his own room. Alone.

/

He tried to sleep, but his mind was just…buzzing. With a million and one questions. He sighed and rolled to the side, catching sight of himself in the floor length mirror. He wasn’t silly, he’d had many boyfriends, girlfriends and flings before. He was aware that he wasn’t totally unattractive…no that was never the problem. The problem was…he couldn’t seem to make them stick around. He tilted his head in the mirror. What was wrong with him?

He pushed down his sheets, they rustled. It was the only sound in this empty room. Huh…his body wasn’t so bad was it? His eyes scanned his own form, he was a little thin…but full of lean muscle. He could definitely please someone, right?

Maybe that’s all he needed, a little stroke to his ego? He had a plethora of old flames that were still filling his inbox… maybe he could hit them up, no harm in that right?

He grabbed his phone before he could change his mind and zoomed in to that mirror, cutting out his eyes so that all that was seen was the shape of his lips and the curves and contours of his body. He scrolled over his messages, and hit send to what he presumed to be a boy that crushed on him since they were in high-school together. They had a fling one night…when Hobi was back in his hometown. He was sweet too, kind of reminded him of Jimin in personality.

He sighed and let his eyes settle on his ass as he rolled to his front. He didn’t have to wait long until there was a buzz.

Oh…Jin?

**_ Jinnie: Uh…Hobi-ah. _ **

Above Jin’s message clear as day was his photo. Shit.

** Hobi: …fuck. **

**Yoons: Yah! Why are you texting each other you’re a wall apart.**

**Yoons: Oh. Well shit.**

** Hobi: Hyung look away! **

_Chim: Hobi-ah…you look really good._

** Hobi: And you’re drunk. Now stop looking! **

_Chim: I’m not! Tipsy maybe but…_

Kookie: What’s happening?

Kookie: Shit hyung… you’ve been working out.

**_Tae: 400% would._ **

** Hobi: Stop, just fucking stop. **

**_Tae: Hyung?_ **

** Hobi: I get it, it’s really funny, Jung Hoseok trying to act like he’s sexy. And whatever have your laughs. But it was not meant for your eyes, so I want all of you to delete it. **

Joon: Hobi-ah…

** Hobi: NOW. **

Joon: Okay! Okay. We are.

** Hobi: Good. Just… **

** Hobi: Good. **

/

It was ten minutes of screaming into a pillow later, and Hobi heard a quiet knock on the door.

“Noooo.” was all he groaned from under his duvet. But there was another knock, stronger than the first. He sighed and pushed himself up, covers pooling at his waist. “…Yeah?”

The door opened. Jimin was who he noticed first, something coy, mysterious, like smoke in his eyes. “Hyung…may we come in?”

We? Oh. Yoongi’s face appeared behind him, his eyes were much less mysterious. His bore fire. “To be honest Hope, it’s not a question. We’re coming in.” he gathered Jimin by the waist and ushered him inside.

“If you’ve come to laugh at me…”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Hobi…I love you, but you’re being a fucking idiot. Come here.” He reached out a palm, his other clutching at Jimin’s tiny waist. Hoseok furrowed his brow.

“Hyung, I’m in my underwear.”

Yoongi barked a laugh. “And, we’ve clearly all seen you in your pants by now, that photo aside.”

Hobi dipped his head but, he allowed Yoongi to pull him off the bed and position him in front of the mirror. It made something warm settle in his stomach, when Yoongi hooked his chin over one shoulder and Jimin pressed his forehead to the other. They were both so small next to him. The idea made him feel…powerful. At least a little.

“You know…” Yoongi’s voice was low, silky in his ear. “You’re really fucking hot.”

Hobi froze. His eyes shot open and moved quickly to Jimin. But the younger just lifted his head and smiled.

“H-huh?”

“I said you’re hot, Hobi-ah.”

Hobi swallowed and he felt a pair of plush lips press kisses along his shoulder. “Jimin…”

“Yes Hobi-ah?”

“What…what’re you…” he cut off, voice dissolved into a low groan when he felt Yoongi’s tongue drag from the crook of his neck, to the shell of his ear. “Fuck.”

“You want us to stop…” Yoongi breathed. Hobi let his head fall to the side, eyes rolling back a little. He felt his heart hammer in his chest as hands started to move over his body, leaving fire tracks in their wake.

“If this is a pity thing…”

Yoongi laughed gently. “This is a ‘we saw that photo, we both got hard, talked about it and we really want you to fuck us’ thing.”

Hobi’s mouth fell open, as Jimin whined needy in his ear and Yoongi’s hand brushed down over his abdomen. Well…shit.

Hobi didn’t take off their clothes. He tore them off.

/

Oh Jin was going to have their asses for this. The three lay, tangled together in a pile of limbs, sweaty faced and heaving backs. It was 3am.

“Oh my god…” Hobi rasped. “So that’s what you guys were always screaming about. I always wondered...”

Jimin smiled dreamily down at him, propped on his elbow. “You’ve thought about it?”

Hobi went pink at the ears. “Maybe…” he chuckled.

“So…how were we…” Jimin asked curiously, looking far too innocent for the way he’d swallowed Hobi whole not ten minutes prior. “Did we meet expectation?”

Hobi grinned. “Passed them. Christ, I can’t feel my legs. Amazing. I’m kinda worried we killed Hyung though.”

He blew cold air against the eyes of the elder, who was lay cradled between them. Yoongi swatted weakly at Hobi’s arm, lashes fluttering. “Fuck off.” He growled. His words didn’t match his actions though, as he tugged their arms tighter around him. Jimin chuckled and pushed the rappers damp hair from his forehead, kissing the sweaty skin.

“Mm, he’s been through three rounds tonight, we can forgive him.”

“Jimin-ah? This…it wasn’t for pity, right?”

Those pretty, doey eyes softened. “You think we could do that to you, Hyung?”

Hobi smiled gently, as they settled in around their elder. Hobi’s heart was finally serene.

/

Over the next couple of days, Hobi was timidly approached by the other couples too. When they did he simply laughed and agreed whole heartedly.

The members for their parts were just relieved. Bangtan’s sunshine glowed once more.


	7. Jeon Jungkook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When hyungs are sad, when hyungs are sick, it makes me more ill that if I were actually sick." In which his hyungs are falling apart, Namjoon and Yoongi almost fight and Jungkook is a sponge to their pain.

 “When hyungs get sad, when hyungs get sick, I get more ill than if I was actually sick.” Those words still rang true, through every fibre of their mankae’s being. Security was a thing Kookie was afforded from his first days here, and to say he was grateful was an understatement. But when his Hyungs trembled, it was like the world was coming down around him, like it was burning to the ground. And Kookie was sat powerless, he could do nothing but watch his home crumble.

Over the past few weeks he’d watched them all stumble, he watched them all crack. Then he stood by and marvelled as others pieced them back together. He was in awe of them. It was so confusing to him that they would be in awe of him.

Though at first all seemed calm before comeback, their little fragilities, not yet healed properly began to flare once more. Jimin began to develop obsessive ticks, Jin began to lose confidence, Yoongi was exhausted. And that wasn’t all, Namjoon was stressed, Hobi distanced himself and Tae became jumpy and sensitive to the smallest of triggers.

And Kookie didn’t know what to do. What could he do?

It was the day before come-back when things fell apart once more, the ground quaking beneath their feet. For once…Tae wasn’t shrinking back, he was testy. It was heart-breaking really, how it started. It had all been building from the moment they woke up. There was a tension thick in the air, an anticipation, there was one day to get it all right. Jimin had spent longer in the shower than usual and when he emerged, his skin was red from the vigorous scrubbing. It was another thing that Jimin had developed. This set the rest of them on edge. And in turn, that made Yoongi protective.

If anyone so much as looked at Jimin in a way he didn’t deem fit, he would snap. That’s where Namjoon went wrong.

He yelped as Jimin stood on his toe for the third time.

“JIMIN! For god sake, watch your feet.” He bellowed. He grabbed Jimin’s arm. “You’re supposed to be here not-“

But before the sentence was from his lips, he was being shoved with surprising force against the mirrors and Yoongi had flung himself in front of his lover, protectively.

“What the fuck Yoongi!” Namjoon screamed.

“You do not touch him.” He growled. Namjoon came storming forward, furious, but Jin caught him by his waist.

“Don’t.” The eldest warned him.

“I was just trying to fucking position him.” Namjoon protested. “If he would get his head out of his own ass he would realise that.”

Yoongi launched forward. The adrenaline gave his body power the others didn’t know him to be capable of. It took both Hoseok and Jimin to keep him from attacking Namjoon.

Yoongi had struggled with his temper for years. Kookie remembered back in the early days, before debut. They had told him so many lies, BigHit had lied to him so often that one day, deciding on whether they should eat and walk to practice, or starve and take the bus, Yoongi just broke. He destroyed the entire dorm.

After he had felt so awful, that he’d cried in their arms for two hours. He spent every little moment between shoots and practices in the following week, gluing things back together and beating himself up.

It had broken Kookie to see his elder like that. And it was breaking him now. God, if he touched his doesang, he knew Yoongi wouldn’t recover for months. He knew the guilt would eat him alive, just as the panic was gnawing at Kookie’s gut to even think about it.

The more they screamed, the more his two hyungs struggled and cussed each other out, the tighter his throat felt. The ground wasn’t trembling, Kookie was.

It was Tae who noticed first. Tae who was sat next to him and whose brow crumpled when he heard their mankae whimper.

“Kookie-ah?” he whispered, through the din. “Kookie?”

Kookie opened his mouth, he parted his lips, but nothing would come out. No sound, no sob…barely a breath.

God he was shaking so hard. “Kookie…” Tae breathed, his eyes widening, knelt timidly in front of him…when had he moved? Kookie never saw him move, but he felt Tae’s hands cup his cheeks. “Hey…what is it? What?”

Kookie just shook his head, whined. The shadows were closing in, drowning out the light. He couldn’t speak, why couldn’t he speak? What was happening to him?

“Hyungs!” But they were still screaming. So, Tae screamed louder. “HYUNGS!” the room snapped into silence, Kookie closed his eyes, head falling against Tae’s shoulder. It was almost as unbearable as the noise.  “Kookie…he…I don’t think he can breathe.”

Suddenly there were five sets of footsteps falling into formation. As if everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours was a lie, and they were whole again, a team. A family.

“Kookie?” the first voice was Namjoon’s, low and controlled. “Hey it’s okay.”

Kookie shook his head, dry sobs against Tae’s neck.

He felt a hand in his hair. Jin. It felt nice, comforting.

“He’s having a panic attack.” Yoongi’s voice was soft. Very soft, demure…but certain.

“How do you know?” Hobi murmured, a hand on Kookie’s knees.

“Because I have them. Frequently.”

When Kookie blinks his bleary eyes open, he sees Jimin come into view, his little hand on Kookie’s cheek but his eyes turned back, distressed to Yoongi. On Yoongi’s other side, he sees Namjoon. Looking on at his elder, burning with remorse.

“Let’s get him outside,” Yoongi sighed. “He needs air. We-we all need air.”

/

Outside, huddled on the stairs that led to the fire exit, the rain began to drizzle down upon them. Drenching them, soaking their hair…their clothes. But nobody felt the urge to move, the backlight from the emergency door made them glow, like angels, like a cluster of stars that swallowed the dark.

Tae had his legs wrapped tight, like a shield around Kookie’s waist, his chin a little sharp, but not unwelcome on his lover’s shoulder.

Hoseok was draped, like a cloak over Tae’s back, face buried in the back of his neck.

Jimin lay one step down, head leant heavy against Kookie’s thighs.

Yoongi was between Jimin’s, cheek squished to the dancer’s chest, back to everyone but Bangtan. His hands were taken, one by Jimin, one by Namjoon.

Every now and again the two rappers would squeeze. ‘I’m sorry.’ **‘Me too.’**

Namjoon sat by Kookie, sides pressed together, his head tilted back, cradled by Jin, propped against the elder’s stomach.

Jin’s fingers carded their leader’s hair, rubbed at his temples, and every now and again would reach up or down to calm another member.

“Yah, Jungkookie-ah.” Their eldest whispered. “Never worry for us. We are family. No matter if we’re screaming, crying, fighting…no matter what, our love for each other is unconditional. Yoongi-yah…he could have punched Namjoonie straight in the face, that wouldn’t stop Namjoon from loving him.”

Yoongi tensed, Namjoon squeezed his palm and Kookie breathed a sigh of relief.

“You know who makes us want to be better? Who made us become men, who made us strive to be happy, to be better than we were?” Kookie shook his head. “You.” Jin murmured.

“Me?”

“You.” He confirmed.  They all seemed to converge at once, pouring into one big light that gave the moon cause to envy. Kookie nodded.

“We’ll be okay.” The mankae whispered. “Tomorrow, we’ll shine wont we?”

The others didn’t answer, but seven smiles curled seven beautiful pairs of lips. Yeah…they really would.


	8. Vmin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE. I'm taking prompts. Here's the Vmin friendship my gal Alex requested. When Tae is sad he sits in the bathroom, when he sits in the bathroom Jimin sits with him.

“Yah…you’ve grown so tall, Lihyunie…” Tae whispered, eyes wide, sparkling. His baby cousin shrieked and bounded, the springs of his mattress groaning under a weight much heavier than the recent years. He was almost flying. Lihyun wasn’t such a baby anymore, all gangly and long legged. “And you’re jumping so high now! You’re nearly as tall as me!” Jimin smiled at his roommate from over the lid of his laptop. Seeing Taehyung with children was one of the purer things in life, it always healed whatever little scrapes and bruises Jimin had procured against his spirit.

“He has…” Taehyung’s aunty turned the camera back to her. She was a pretty woman, a female Tae. Kind face, boxy smile. Jimin was fond of her already. “Um…Taehyung-ah. Did you hear about your grandma?”

Tae’s bright expression faded. “Grandma? I…why? Is she okay?” there was a shake in his voice that had Jimin lift his eyes again.

“She’s a little sick Taehyungie…”

Taehyung seemed to struggle, a thousand facets gracing his features, a thousand emotions that touched his nerve endings, blew them out one by one and left him hollow. “Why…why didn’t Mama and Dad tell me?”

“You have a lot going on for you right now Taehyung-ah. You’re living a dream. I think they didn’t want to dampen your spirits.”

Taehyung nodded, but his eyes were pulled out of focus. “Um…so what is it? What’s wrong? With grandma?”

“Her lungs…she’s having a little trouble breathing. So, she’s on oxygen for now... in the ICU.”

There was a silence that followed. Jimin could almost feel the mood grey. The atmosphere become heavy around them and the colour drain from Taehyungs cheeks.

“Oh…”

“You can visit Taehyung. Could you come back to Daegu?”

“Um…we’re traveling to the Philippines soon. On-on tour…”

“It’s okay Taehyungie… she’s strong. You know she’s strong, she’ll be okay. Try not to worry.”

“Okay…”

Suddenly Lihyun slapped down on his knees next to his mother. “Taehyungieeee!”

Taehyung forced a smile upon his face, but his bottom lip trembled. “Hey Lihyunie…” he whispered. “Um, Aunty, I have to go now.” He whispered his face dropping. “Thank you for letting me know.”

“It’s okay…stay strong Taehyung-ah.”

“Love you Taehyungieee!”

Tae swallowed, a small, watery smile on his gentle face. “I-I love you more.”

The screen faded to black.

Jimin eyed Tae for a moment, brow creased, eyes tight with second hand pain. “Taetae…”

But the younger simply lifted himself from the bed, fled toward the open door and disappeared down the hallway. Jimin heard a door slam at the end. From the sounds of it, he’d chosen the bathroom. Jimin began to notice this, when things got heavy, Tae would disappear down there. Excuse himself. He needed the bathroom quite a bit recently.

Jimin worried. It made something twist tenderly in his heart at the thought of Tae struggling alone. He pushed his laptop aside. There was no way he could leave him like that.

Tae had confided to him on a rainy day in May, about his relationship with his father. Tae’s father became increasingly frustrated with little Taehyung as he grew. He pushed the younger into boxing and other contact sports, something to ‘harden him up’. But Tae was sensitive, he loathed hurting other people, and this ended in him being beaten and bruised more times than he could remember.

He spent most of his youth with his grandma, who nurtured his sensitive side, who adored how Tae would cuddle and cling to her. Tae talked about her as if she were an angel and Jimin could believe it, Tae was very angelic himself. Jimin supposed that’s where he got it from.

The dancer tapped on the door, gentle. There were sniffles audible from behind the wood, soft, pitiful. The elder sighed and opened the door.

“Oh Taetae…”

The younger was huddled in the bath, knees pulled up like a barrier against his chest. Tae’s hair was fluffy and tufted, it made him look even younger than he usually did. He looked like an infant, just woken from a bad dream.

Jimin moved forward without a word and climbed into the cramped bath with his doesang, coaxing him into his lap as he went. Tae moved forward, he made no protest, he settled into Jimin’s arms like a river met the ocean. It was natural for both of them, two brothers meant to live side by side and to exist together.

Jimin’s hand caressed Tae’s shivering back in long strokes. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” The elder promised.

“I miss her…”

“I know…”

“What if she…what if I don’t-“

“Shh, don’t think like that.”

“I feel so selfish Jiminie. She’s hurting and I’m doing nothing tuh-to…”

“Tae…I bet she’s so proud of you right now. And even though you can’t see her, someday very soon she’ll see you. On her television, her baby boy making her proud, yeah?”

“Y-Yeah?” he hiccupped and Jimin nodded. “Jiminie…I’m sorry for crying on you.”

“Don’t be sorry for that.” Jimin soothed. “I’m glad you trust me to do this.”

Tae nodded and sat up, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve. “I know, I just…I know how you worry about us. About everything. I don’t want to be just another thing to worry about.”

“You’re not a thing Tae-ah, you’re a person. My best friend.” He reprimanded gently, and Tae’s heart swelled. “I do worry. I worry too much. But I’d rather be worried all the time than let you hurt.”

Tae gave him a sheepish side smile and then his lip jutted. “We’re in the bath.”

Jimin laughed, high and clear, buckling over and pressing his forehead to Tae’s knees. “It was you who picked it!”

“My bums wet!”

“So, get up! Pabo.”

Tae whined and clung to Jimin’s waist. “But you’re comfyyyyy.”

They sat there a while, the showerhead leaking on Jimin’s back. But slowly…a new home was forming.

Every time after that, when Tae would disappear into that room of water and tiles, Jimin would give him 30 minutes before he’d follow, then he would rub his back, play with his fingers and distract Taehyung from his own mind.


	9. Namgi/Sugamon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when Kookie remembered the time Yoongi smashed up the dorm? And then Namjoon remembered the time he didn't take Yoongi's hand? This is those two moments together. Cue some Namgi bromance and Yoongi angst.

No man is an island. It was a moral needle that Namjoon’s parents tried to instil in his mind from a young age. No man is just one way, no man could survive completely on their own. Not mentally, not for long. But slowly these lessons wither in the back of your mind, soon they become background noise. By the time he met Min Yoongi, Namjoon had almost forgotten this sentiment.

Min Yoongi wasn’t cold per say, Namjoon would never say that. But he was distant, an introvert, he liked to be alone. And to Namjoon’s mind, you didn’t touch him. Yoongi in his mind, all that time ago, wasn’t affectionate, at least not physically.

No man is an island, they told him. And they were right, they were so damn right.

/

Bangtan were tired. The kind of tired that permeated way past your physical energy, they were tired to the core. Blank faced and clinging to each other, like rocks in a stormy sea.

“We need to decide.” Namjoon sighed. That tiny bowl of instant noodles doing nothing to curb his hunger. “Bus and starve, food and walk. What will it be?”

“Yoongi-yah shouldn’t be walking with his injuries, his shoulder, his waist. He needs to rest.” Jin whispered.

Yoongi sat, scrunched in a tense ball on the window seat. His back to his members, eyes glaring out on the sun that dared to shine on him. To mock him. “Then I will starve and take the bus.”

“You can’t take the bus alone Hyung.” Jimin’s sweet voice mumbled, he lifted his head from the table. “I’ll skip food and come with you.”

“No. You need to eat.”

“Yeah, but so do you.” Hobi murmured, eyes lidded, struggling to open.

Yoongi closed his eyes, the muscles in his back rolling… like a jungle cat ready to pounce. Kookie frowned and leant his head in the crook of Jin’s wide shoulder.

“Just…give Kookie my food if theres any left. I don’t want it.” He snapped.

Namjoon groaned. He wasn’t cold…but he was distant. Always pushing them away. “Hyung…”

“I didn’t fucking come here for this.” He barked, triggering a startled ripple. “I didn’t come to Seoul to live the same shitty existence I lived in Daegu. I didn’t come here to struggle.”

“I know that.”

“No, you don’t!” He bellowed leaping to his feet. “This is not fucking normal Joon. Jungkookie is fifteen, Tae seventeen, Jimin too. Shit… Hoseok is barely eighteen and already they’re struggling and for fucking what!? For some half ass company that’s done NOTHING but feed us lies and give us false hope.”

“Yoongi…” Jin warned.

“Don’t worry Yoongi, this is a rap group, you won’t need to dance, of course we have the money... of course you will debut! I’M **SICK** OF BEING LIED TOO.”

Yoongi saw red, lifted the wooden chair off the floor and plunged it into the window, the glass crashing and shattering to the floor. And he didn’t stop, he was screaming in nonsense, punching holes in walls, throwing plates across the room. He had snapped.

“JIN! GET THEM OUT!” Namjoon boomed. “IN THE KITCHEN.”

Jin nodded, and with a little coaxing, the youngest four, alarmed, were ushered into the other room.

“YOONGI, STOP!” Namjoon growled.

“WHY?! What’s the fucking point!? You think it won’t all fall to shit anyway?! So why stop?!”

“Because you’re scaring them, you idiot!”

Something flickered over the elder’s expression, a hurt, a sorrow, something much more vulnerable than anger. He exhaled a sharp breath and closed his eyes, dizzy, even paler than usual, but flushed in the cheeks.

He dropped to his knees with a thud and buried his face in his hands. At first, Namjoon didn’t have a clue what to do, as the elder’s shoulder shook with heavy sobs. But soon, upon the others hearing them, Jimin came padding out from the kitchen door, his lips trembling. Namjoon wouldn’t have to decide after all.

“H-Hyung…” he whimpered. He swept over to Yoongi, falling to his knees too. He tried desperately to pull Yoongi’s hands away. “A-are you hurt? Suga-Hyung?”

Slowly, wearily, the other’s filtered back in, Jin’s hand passing over Namjoon’s shoulder as he followed the doesangs to Yoongi’s side.

Jimin had finally got Yoongi to cry into his shoulder, instead of his hands, and the others gathered around them, whispering comforting words and soft reassurance.

Jimin lifted his eyes and beckoned Namjoon over, with a strained smile. He came, of course… Jimin was impossible to say no to.

As he lowered himself to the floor, he felt something brush his fingers. Another set of pale digits. He pulled his hand back, sharp. Yoongi didn’t like to be touched after all. Right?

Only…he wasn’t so sure in that moment. As he snatched his hand back and apologised under his breath, Yoongi’s distraught face crumpled, he dropped his hand. OH. Shit he was…he wanted Namjoon to… Yoongi wasn’t sobbing anymore, but shame was laced on his countenance, clear as day. As if he was ashamed of who he was behind those walls.

Like he was ashamed to be a human and to feel.

And regret panged, instant and painful as Yoongi’s lashes fluttered, too delicate against his cheek. Namjoon begged in his mind for Yoongi to reach out to him again. He didn’t.

/

Over the coming weeks, Yoongi was very attentive to his Doesangs and his Hyung. He’d leave them adorable little hearts on post-it notes, leave hot drinks at their doors. And after he’d scuttle away, sit in the corner with his super glue and patch the things he had destroyed back together.

Sometimes Namjoon would wander sleepily into the lounge at 4am, and find Yoongi with his little lamp, trying to mash tiny shards of porcelain into one. But it was nine days later when Namjoon stopped passing him by and finally intervened.

“Yoongi-yah.”

The elder peeked up from the shadows, trying messily to sew Taehyungs plushie Totoro back shut. He rubbed his eyes with his forearm. “Hey…”

Namjoon sighed. “Hyung… you need to rest.”

“I will soon.”

“No…you won’t.” The leader murmured moving toward him and dropping down to sit at his side. “You’ll stay here, until I find you knocked out and I’ll have to carry you to bed.”

Yoongi deflated, body sagging and he let the Totoro and his needle rest on his thigh. “Namjoonie…are you scared of me?”

Namjoon’s forehead creased. “Scared?”

Yoongi nodded not lifting his head, but with the lamp backlighting his profile, Namjoon could see his lips puckered in a grimace.

“Why would you ask.”

Yoongi shrugged. “I just…I don’t want you to be scared of me…I-I don’t want any of you to be scared of me. I don’t want that.” His voice trembled through those three sentences. It was all Namjoon needed before he was lifting Yoongi’s hand off the plushie and locking their finger together tight.

Yoongi tilted his head, curiously.

“Of course we’re not scared of you. You had enough, you broke. Hyung, no man is an island. You’re human and you can’t survive behind your walls forever…let us help. Let us work together. We’re so much stronger when we’re together.”

Yoongi let the words lie for a few minutes, before he squeezed Namjoon’s palm gently.

“Namjoonie…”

“Yeah?”

“We can’t let Bangtan sink…we can’t. We have to make it. Together.”

“We will Hyung. We’ll make it. The talent under this roof…shit we can’t let the world beat that down anymore.  We can’t let them win.”

Yoongi nodded and let his head fall back against the wall. “We’ll make it. I’ll make sure of it.”


	10. JinHope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I saw a lot of Jinhope vids lately and their relationship is so sweet and happy. So have some sad Jin having funeral flashbacks and Hobi making him smile. <3

 Two weeks had passed since his grandmother’s funeral, but still Jin wasn’t quite in the correct headspace. That week spent cooking and cradled in Joon’s arms had been perfect, if not a little stained by grief. But he hadn’t cried since the day of the funeral, if anything, he felt like BigHit were treating him with kid gloves. Every day he would ask to return, and every day he would be met with an analytical once over and a cocked head.

_“You should rest Seokjin.”_

_“Just take the week…”_

_“One more day.”_

But finally, they relented. “You’re not going to give in, are you?” Sejin murmured, muffled through the receiver.

“Nope.” Jin told him simply. “C’mon Sejin…you can’t keep me away forever. I’m fine.”

“You cried once.”

“So?”

“You’ve cried more at any given K-Drama.”

Jin sighed. “Sejin-aaaah…I’m okay. Top of the world. Promise”

“Whatever you say Jin-ah.”

“So can I come to practice?”

“…Fine.”

Jin’s lips stretched in a wide smile. “You’re my favourite Sejin…did I ever tell you that?”

“Only every time I’ve given into you…be in tomorrow Jin-ah…7:45. Sharp.”

“Yes Sir!”

/

Bangtan cheered for him as he entered the practice room and he squeaked out a laugh in return. Namjoon, gentle as ever cupped his cheeks, kissed his lips and told him to take it easy if he needed to. And Jin didn’t pay him any mind. He just smiled and puckered his lips for another kiss, the younger two groaning behind them.

With him having so much time out, they spent most of the morning helping Jin catch up. It was a morning of sweat, teasing and window-wiper laughs. Hobi grinned at his Hyung through the mirror. What very few people knew about Hobi, is he was very intuitive when it came to emotion. He, himself wearing every emotion proudly on his sleeve. If he was sad, he cried, if he was happy he laughed. If he was scared, you would most definitely hear it and from miles away. So, it warmed him to the core to see Jin mostly back to the way he was.

But there was something…looming. A crack there. And Hobi wasn’t numb to what it was. The ghost of his grandma’s final breath laying heavy around his shoulders, slumping him ever so slightly. He was still a little haunted by her. Hobi could see it.

“Yah! You’ve done well Hyung!” Tae beamed clapping him on the shoulder. “You’re almost as good as Yoongi-Hyung now!”

“How…dare you.” Yoongi gasped, doubled over, sweat dripping from his nose. Jimin laughed and rubbed his lover’s back.

“Hm, they’re right though Hyung!” Yoongi glared at the dancer. “Not about that!” Jimin promised. “I mean about you improving Jinnie-Hyung. You just picked up in a day, what would have usually taken you weeks.”

Jin pressed his sweaty temple to the mirrors. “Help me.” He groaned. “My beautiful body is in pain.”

The younger giggled and Hobi came up behind to hug his waist. “You worked hard Hyung!” he held up his palm for a high five and the elder granted his wish weakly.

“You know it.”

Tae chuckled all messy haired and spread out on Kookie’s lap, like a kitten. “You know it all…my best friend.” He sang, breathy and sweet. Something about that song locked Jin’s muscles tight. Hobi could feel him tense unbeknownst to the others, under his hands. “The morning will come again.”

Kookie jumped in. “No darkness, no season can last forever…” Hobi’s eyes found Jin’s through the mirror. But they weren’t looking at him. They we’re glassy, unfocused, and there was a pinch to his expression that snapped at heartstrings.

Then Jimin came in, too angelic as usual. “Maybe it’s cherry blossoms, and winter will be over.” He brought Yoongi up and settled his cheek against his shoulder, and the elder pressed his lips to his temple. “I miss you…”

“I miss you.” Kookie echoed.

“I miss you…”

“I miss you…

Hobi felt a tremble under his fingertips, one he knew came from Jin’s very core. He knew right now, what Jin needed was his lover. He needed Namjoon. But Namjoon had been pulled away into a conference room full of suits.

“Hyung…” Hobi murmured. “Come get water with me.”

His voice so close to Jin’s ear seemed to snap him out of it, watery eyes met Hobi’s through the mirror. “Yeah…okay.”

Hobi tangled their fingers together and tugged Jin off toward the green room. He heard the sniffles start behind him before the door even shut, but when it did he turned to the elder and smiled. Jin twitched a sheepish smile back.

“I thought I was ready.” He rasped.

Hobi shrugged. “I would have cried too… but look on the bright side. You are here with me and you’re still pretty as you cry!”

Jin chuckled, wet and a little broken. “I’m pretty all the time.”

“Wah! There he is!” Hobi grinned prodding Jin’s full bottom lip. Jin smiled again, stronger this time.

“I’m sorry, I’m Hyung, I should be…”

“Aish, yes you’re my Hyung but you’re also mankae of your own family! It’s okay Hyung…here.” Hobi pulled him over to the couch and settled into it cross legged. The younger patted his lap.

“Hobi-ah.”

“Let me comfort you the way your family would.”

Jin climbed into his lip without question and settled against his chest. “You _are_ my family Hobi-obi.”

“Ah cuuuuute.”

Jin swatted him weakly, but held him closer than ever.

 


	11. SugaKookie/ Yoonkook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jungkook is sick, Yoongi is the only one home. Fluff ensues.

 The very few times Kookie and Yoongi were home alone, it was a quiet affair. Yoongi wasn’t a talker and Kookie was ever the introvert, forced to be an extrovert. Kookie never told Yoongi this, but he found alone time with Yoongi to be the most relaxing.

He didn’t tell him though…he didn’t wanna be weird about it. Or make Yoongi uncomfortable.

It was rare it was just the two of them. Today was one of those rare moments, but today Kookie couldn’t take refuge in Yoongi’s calm silence. Not while his body clenched tight and his head pounded. He felt like rock under molten lava. Heavy…it was hot…it was so hot in here.

Kookie whined and kicked his covers down to his ankles. But they were caught around his feet and his arms were like noodles, his eyes seeing shadows and figures in his feverish state.

His phone buzzed against the side table, rattling his brain.

Yoons: Hey, did you go out?

Kookie: Nope

Yoons: You wanna eat?

Kookie: Nope.

Yoons: …Charming.

Kookie: You think a human could reach a temperature where they might actually melt?

Kookie: Like your head is a dumpling and your limbs are the noodles and you turn into a big old bowl of Kimchi?

Yoons: …

Yoons: Are you drunk?

Kookie: You’re silly! 

Kookie: I don’t drink.

Kookie: Seokjinnie would kill me.

Kookie: Mm, you’re silly fairy person.

Yoons: Excuse me?

Yoons: Kookie, where are you?

Kookie: In bed.

Kookie: My head hurts.

Yoons: Did you hit it?

Kookie: Nope.

Yoons: Oh.

Yoons: You’re sick?

Kookie: Yup!

Kookie: SHHH! Don’t tell Yoongi-hyung!

Yoons: … I’m coming to your room.

Kookie: YAH STAY AWAY FROM ME SNOW FAIRY!

Yoongi didn’t heed the younger’s warning of course, being a man who rarely did as he was told. Now, looking back at it, Kookie thought he must have been a sight. All pale faced and sweaty forehead, crouched in fighting stance on his bed. Yoongi didn’t laugh though, merely rolled his eyes and pushed him back down onto the mattress.

Kookie was too weak to protest. “You’ll not take me alive snow fairy…” he slurred.

Yoongi sighed and pressed the back of his hand to Kookie’s forehead. “You’re burning up, why didn’t you tell me Kookie-ah.”

Kookie shrugged. “Dunno, you were busy doing Fairy shit, and I know you don’t like to be disturbed and shit so…”

Yoongi slumped. Maybe it was Kookie’s fever addled brain, but there was something so sad and frustrated in his eyes. But whatever he felt, he neglected to verbalise it. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

But a hand circled Yoongi’s wrist. The elder’s brows dipped and Kookie stared back up at him, lip jutted, eyes wide and glassy. “Don’t leave…” he begged. “Everything hurts and your hands are so cool and…”

Yoongi’s heart twisted, painful. Sometimes Jungkook seemed beyond his years, seemed too calm, collected and so sure of himself. But there were rare flashes, like bolts of lighting that would brighten the picture and expose the vulnerability that could only come from a boy who became an idol at the tender age of fifteen.

Kookie looked so young in those moments, so tiny that it triggered a fierce protectiveness. In those moments, Yoongi wasn’t his Hyung, he became his father.

“Hey…” he reached down and brushed the dark, damp mop of hair from his forehead. “I’m not leaving for good. I just need to get you water and something that will help to break the fever. Yeah?”

Kookie slumped, but nodded, squeezing Yoongi’s palm before he let it go.

Yoongi blushed a pale pink that sprinkled the centre of his face. His nose, his cheeks. He didn’t know what made him so nervous in that moment, as he closed the door behind him. Perhaps it was the incredible amount of responsibility that he felt came with being the one in charge of their mankae’s health.

What _did_ break a fever? Were you allowed to touch people with a fever? What would get rid of a head ache? Should he stay by his side? Should he make him eat.

In the end he took to google for his answers.

_How do you break a fever?_

Answer: he basically fucking couldn’t, just had to keep his mankae cool and wait it out. Some people suggested wet flannels wrapped around ice.

Ice ice ice… Yoongi pulled out each draw of the freezer roughly. He settled on a bag of frozen carrots. Grabbed headache meds, a bottle of water. He would try feeding him later.

He fucking ran. He ran for Jeon Jungkook. And he couldn’t help but growl a little. When he got there, the younger was passed out, sweaty and face first in his pillow. The irritation quickly faded though. Yoongi would never admit it, but his heart swelled frequently for Jeon Jungkook. His mankae, his brother, his son. He ruffled his sweaty hair, tipped him carefully onto his back and pressed the tea towel wrapped carrots to his forehead.

/

When Jungkook awoke it was to a thundering head ache and a dry throat. But happily, he also woke to a lumpy coolness pressed to his warm skin.

“I don’t know who you are, but I love you.” He mumbled.

A grunt. “I wouldn’t let Tae hear that.”

Kookie cracked one eye. “Hyung? You stayed?”

Yoongi huffed, puffing out his lips. It was so cute. Kookie couldn’t help but think how ridiculously cute Yoongi was sometimes. “Why is everyone so surprised when I’m kind. I can be kind!”

Kookie grinned, weak. “You’re the kindest hyungie…” he rasped. “Um, Hyung? Do you have water.”

Yoongi nodded, his face unchanging as he twisted off the cap. The younger reached out for the bottle, but Yoongi took one look at his shaky hand and cupped the back of Kookie’s neck, lifting him just enough to swallow the water.

Kookie mused on how he felt like a baby. He couldn’t say he disliked it. Being so closely watched by Min Yoongi, being so blatantly cared for by the man was like seeing a comet streaking the night sky. Rare, sort of beautiful. Kookie wouldn’t make a wish on this one, Min Yoongi was all he could ask for in this moment…and maybe Tae, but he was working. He understood that.

Once Yoongi was happy with the amount of water Kookie consumed, he lowered him back to the pillows. He ran his long fingers through Kookie’s damp, itchy hair and scratched at his scalp lightly. Kookie groaned and backed into the touch.

“How’s your head?” Yoongi murmured.

“Feels better when you do that…”

The elder hummed and began to knead the back of his neck. “This okay too?”

Kookie nodded, long lashes fluttering. “Hyung?” Yoongi nodded. “Why don’t you do this more often? You’re so good at this.”

Yoongi furrowed his brow. “Do what?”

“Take care of people like this. Like…real hands on and up front. You’re really good at looking after people, being around you feels so safe.”

Yoongi cocked his head, surprised. “I don’t know. I thought you guys would feel uncomfortable. You always think its weird when I act real nice and soft.”

Kookie chuckled despite himself. “Hyungie…you’re the softest bean we know. Theres no hiding that.” The elder pouted. Kookie laughed so exhaustedly, but his eyes were so full of joy. “Aish, adorable.” He giggled. 

They went on like that for a while. Yoongi pressed the cool wrap to Kookies forehead, neck, his cheeks. Kookie smiled in return and hummed soft tunes under his breath. Then Yoongi spoke up again. “Kookie-ah,” his voice was soft, almost nervous. “Do you think I’m scary? Or like boring? Sort of a downer.”

The mankae blinked. “Why would you think so, Hyung?”

The elder shrugged. “I dunno. Sometimes I just feel bad, because I bring the mood down. I don’t mean to. But, sometimes I’m not in my studio all day to work, but just because I don’t wanna bring the rest of you down while you’re having fun.”

Kookie sighed. “You’re way too hard on yourself, Hyung. Come cuddle with me?”

“Oh um…”

“C’moooon…” he whined. “Tae and Jimin-ah aren’t here, and I feel all crappy.”

“Hm. Wait a moment…”

Yoongi retrieved his phone, typed something in rapidly. His eyes moved over the screen and then he seemed satisfied. “I’ll spoon you, yeah?”

Kookie nodded and rolled obediently on his side, feeling the bed dip as Yoongi spread out behind him. An arm looped his waist and he was pulled back against the smaller man’s firm chest. The rhythmic beat of his heart was nearly as calming as the fingers that threaded back through his dark locks.

Kookie settled down quickly, so naturally in his arms that it filled Yoongi with pride. And of course, Yoongi being Yoongi, he fell into slumber just minutes after Jungkook.

/

It had been a long, draining day. Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung missed their lovers. Miss warm kisses and strong arms. What they didn’t expect, was to find the two of them tangled together on Tae and Kookie’s bed.

Jimin opened his mouth to ask how the hell it happened, but then Tae smiled and held up Yoongi’s phone, opened on Google.

_Tips on cuddling someone with a fever._


	12. Namjin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jin looks after Namjoon after he hurts his foot, Namjoon looks after Jin when he gets sick and wrangles the other's in for him.

Kim Namjoon was a strong man, strong mind, strong heart, strong character. But his body, while stronger than he realised, was also prone to injury. Seeing Namjoon in pain, it struck something deep in Jin’s core. Their leader’s head rolled back. His brow pinched in agony.

He really needed attention, to get his foot checked properly. But Namjoon among other things was stubborn. “I’ll do it. We’ve got two more songs. I have to do it.”

The medic insisted he rest for the two minutes before they went on. Jin sighed and hooked his chin over Namjoon’s shoulder. “Deep breaths, sweetheart.” He hummed into his ear. “Trust your members…if you slip we’ll catch you. Promise.”

Namjoon nodded and sagged, dissolving into the warmth of his lover’s chest, the slow, steady breaths of the elder sating his racing mind.

“Thank you…” he breathed.

The rest of the concert went by without many people clocking Namjoon’s situation. Jin could see the younger took pride in that…he took pride in him. While the rest ate together in Hoseok’s room, Jin pulled Namjoon down the corridor to theirs. Even though the younger’s foot felt a million miles better, the elder wouldn’t let him walk alone.

“Baby…you can eat with the others.” Namjoon promised as Jin slipped a pillow under the rapper’s lower back.

“I don’t want to.” Jin told him gently, plopping down by his feet and pulling his injured one into the elder’s lap.

“But…”

“Stop…” he whispered. “Honestly, I’m really tired too. I’d much rather be here at the moment.” He told him, rubbing his eyes and running his thumb over the arch of Namjoon’s foot.

“You do look a little tired.” Jin glared, Namjoon quickly rephrased. “Beautiful, Jin-ah…you’re always beautiful. But your body is so slumped, your voice sounds strange too…are you getting sick.”

Jin shrugged. “I don’t know sweetheart, but either way I can’t afford to be. So, I’ll just have to suck it up. Someone has to wrangle these kids in.”

“Come here…” Namjoon murmured, a tenderness in his voice that made Kim Seokjin feel like the most precious human on the face of this Earth. He hesitated though.

“If I am sick I can’t…”

“I don’t care…you’re more important…come here.”

“But…”

“Jin…you looked after me today. You look after all of us. Every day. Let me hold you at the very least to say thank you.”

The elder blinked twice, before removing his wire rim glasses, folding them and crawling up between Namjoon’s thighs. He settled on the youngers chest, cheek squashed adorably against his left side, his hand fisting the soft grey wool that cradled his head.

And that was the favourite part of his day. Not that he didn’t appreciate a crowd of people who chanted his name and sang his lyrics back to him. Not that he didn’t adore being with his other brothers too, laughing, joking, bonding.

But if he was honest with himself, running his fingers through a sleepy, slightly sniffly Seokjin’s hair… it trumped all of that a thousand times over.

The rise and fall of his lover’s chest against his own was like a tide, washing over him and retreating…so soft, so peaceful.

They fell asleep like that, a little too warm, but smiles curving their lips.

/

Jin loved the Mankae line, he really did. He loved Jimin, his soft voice, his warm personality.

He loved Tae, his cheeky smiles and child-like unpredictability.

He loved Kookie. The mischievous glint in his eyes, his adorable awkwardness around girls.

He loved Hobi too. With his brightness and over the top humour.

But right now, this was one of those rare moments Jin just wanted them to sit an behave as any other polite member of society. He wanted quiet.

He had curled himself into a corner, hair done, make up caked over his red nose and dark circles. He was grateful that Yoongi was snoring softly on the other side of the couch. With him near, at least the others wouldn’t come near enough to physically bother him.  If anything, from fear of waking the smaller man.

But the problem was, Jin had a headache, he was particularly sensitive today and too weak to really kick up a fuss. Namjoon could see it across the way, how his lashes would flutter and his brow would wrinkle, before his eyes simply dropped shut again, too heavy to carry on.

“Hobi-hyung, Jimin-ah, Tae-ah, Junkookie. Come here!” the leader called, summoning them away from Jin.

They all chuckled and shoved each other as they came closer to Namjoon. The make-up Noona smiled and sloped off, Namjoon was grateful for her intuition.

“I know you’re having fun and on any other day I’d be for it. But Jin-Hyung didn’t sleep at all. He’s sick and he’s really tired. If we’re gonna get him through this fan meet we’re going to have to work together yeah?”

Jimin’s lip jutted out, thoughtful. “When did he last drink something?”

Namjoon wracked his brain. “Oh, uh…not sure.”

“I’ll get him some honey tea.”

Namjoon smiled. “Thank you Jimin-ah.”

“He needs a pillow down there…” Hobi determined cocking his head. “So his neck doesn’t get sore. He can lie on my thighs.”

Before Namjoon could thank him too, Hobi was already gone, bounding over to the other side of the room and lifting Jin’s head just enough so he could fit his legs underneath. The elder’s eyes cracked open, but then he slumped again.

Tae watched them silently, mulling over what he could do. “Hm, Hyung always says he finds the piano covers of our songs relaxing, because its like home, but calmer.” He turned to Namjoon, eyes bright. “I could play some through the speakers, quietly.”

“Good idea.”

As Tae scurried on over to the Bluetooth speaker, Kookie rocked on his feet. “I mean…I can carry him everywhere between appearances.”

Namjoon thought the younger was joking, he chuckled. But Kookie didn’t laugh at all. “Actually…” Namjoon murmured. “That would be really helpful. He needs to conserve energy.”

Kookie smiled sheepishly and wandered away to help Tae with the speaker.

Over the other side of the room he was being watched. Jin’s eyes cracked open as Jimin took the tea from his lips and Yoongi fixed the dribble with his sleeve.

“Thank you…” he mouthed.

Namjoon just smiled and dipped his head. For Jin, it really felt like nothing.

/

Namjoon took on Jin’s role throughout the rest of the day. When Yoongi needed help with his contacts, Namjoon bit his lip, sucked up his squeamishness and helped.

When Hobi argued with Tae about how far they should spread out their formation on the B stage, he calmed Hobi, consoled Tae and made sure both were laughing before they went on.

When Jimin fell during Fire, Namjoon embraced him backstage. Told him he was proud of him and how cool he looked when he got back up.

He simply watched Jungkook like Jin always seemed to do. Picked up on the little things. Every clench of his hands was met by a squeeze of his shoulder. Every pair of shifty eyes were met with a warm, steady glance and reassuring nudge.

All these were the little things that meant the world to each of them.

And for Jin, Namjoon held him up backstage, tipped water into his mouth, fanned him when he got too hot. On stage he held him strong, manoeuvring him into position if his head was too foggy to keep up. An arm around his midriff kept him steady as they talked in between songs.

He asked ARMY to cheer for their Hyung, who had done the entire concert with a fever. They roared, but Namjoon still covered his Hyung’s ears, not wanting the noise to hurt too badly.

That night Joon ordered Jin’s favourite foods and stayed with him in their room.  He carded the elder’s hair and told him he was proud, assured him that his doesangs were all fed and in their room.

Jin whispered his thank yous a thousand times in mantra. He kissed Namjoon’s collar bones and told him how much sex he would get when he was better. Namjoon chuckled.

“Focus on yourself for once Hyungie…”

Jin smiled against his skin. “You know…you’ll make an amazing Dad one day.”

“Yeah…”

“Mhm.”

“Then our babies will have two amazing Father’s.”

Jin nodded. “They’ll be pretty too…clever. Rich. What a blessed genepool they will have. And with five uncles ready-made.”

Namjoon breathed a laugh against his lover’s hair line. “You’re ridiculous...so perfectly ridiculous.”


	13. Taegi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While in America for a shoot, Tae gets lost and almost hurt. Yoongi finds him and protects him. For my gal Kate. Love you gal <3

 The night had started out just as beautiful as any with his Bangtan brothers. The sky was clear and dotted with stars, the mountains of Montana made for beautiful portraits. The members started to melt away without Tae realising, lost behind the lens of his camera, snapping away feverishly.

He passively agreed to ‘catching up with them in a second’, with no real thought to it. The scenery was just too stunning to miss.

That was until he finally lowered his lens and suddenly the trees were just twisted shadows, the moon was glaring down over a tar like road that would swallow him whole.

He ran toward the city, toward the lights. Where there was light there was warmth, right?

/

Tae was lost, well and truly lost.

His mind raced through his options like a rolodex. The first thing he knew is that he should text somebody, preferably a member. They had snuck out tonight and getting lost was one thing, getting them into trouble was another.

He could text Kookie, but orientation was not his strong suit.

He could text Jimin, but Jimin was a worrier.

He could text Namjoon, but he was hopeless with direction.

He could text Jin, but he was near blind in the dark.

He could text Hoseok, but he would be barraged with too many clever ideas and probably end up lost too.

The most perfect option was Yoongi. Calm, collected, streetwise Yoongi.

/

**_Tae: Um, Hyung._ **

**Yoons: You’re fucking lost.**

**_Tae: I’m sorry!_ **

**_Tae: Don’t be mad._ **

**_Tae: I tried to ask for directions but nobody can understand me and their accents are so heavy and I cant understand them and helllllp!_ **

**Yoons: Tae.**

**Yoons: Breathe.**

**Yoons: How far have you walked from the original spot?**

**_Tae: About…10 minutes?_ **

**Yoons: No I mean in length.**

**_Tae: …_ **

**_Tae: I have no idea._ **

**Yoons: Aish!**

**_Tae: Hyuuuuuung! It’s so scary out here, people are giving me such strange looks._ **

**Yoons: Yah! Fine, what can you see.**

**_Tae: I don’t know my eyes are blurry._ **

**Yoons: …**

**Yoons: Tae-ah…are you crying?**

**_Tae: (Delay) No._ **

**Yoons: Hey, I’ll find you, I promise.**

**_Tae: Okay…_ **

**_Tae: Um theres a bar place with bright neon writing. I can’t work out what it says._ **

**Yoons: Oh…I remember it…**

**Yoons: Pub Station?**

**_Tae: Yes!_ **

**Yoons: Stay there! Keep low. I’m coming.**

**/**

When Yoongi said ‘keep low’, Tae took it quite literally. Crouched on the floor outside the bar, he hiked his jacket up higher around his neck. He couldn’t decide if that was because it was cold or because he felt incredibly vulnerable in that moment, just wanted to sink into the shadows and disappear.

Commotion was brewing from behind the doors of the club. He heard men shouting in thick accents and felt the rush of air as the door was kicked open, slammed against the brick. Tae jolted as a man stumbled out, back to him, screaming something at security.

The singer made himself even smaller, not wanting to upset the intoxicated beast who’d just been released to the outside world. Sadly, it was his tininess that was the downfall. The man stumbled backward, unaware of Tae’s presence in the shadows, and tumbled backward over the singer, foot catching his lip and splitting it on the way down.

Tae stumbled to his feet immediately, stuttering an apology in broken English. To which the other man screeched back in a flurry of what Tae could only assume to be profanity.

“Taehyung!”

Suddenly he was being shoved behind another body, smaller than his, but almost vibrating with power.

“Hyung! No! It was my fault! I tripped him.”

Yoongi growled. “Your lip.”

“An accident…I promise. Please can we j-just…” he tugged Yoongi’s sleeve, gesturing to the cab with it’s meter still running and it’s door flung open.

There was a beat of silence where Yoongi glared at the man on the floor. He spoke to him in English.

“If you hurt him, I hurt you.”  

He turned away from the neon lights and the noise and pulled Taehyung by his wrist back to the car.

/

The journey was one of silence. Yoongi staring stonily at the back of the driver’s head and Tae wringing his hands nervously.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“You’re mad.” Tae guessed, his voice shaking. Yoongi finally spared him a glance, Tae with his head hung low and his lips pouted. “I really didn’t mean to…”

“I’m not angry at _you_ Taehyungie…” Yoongi sighed ruffling his own hair. “I’m angry at that asshole, at what he was calling you.”

Tae blinked, considering his Hyung, the tense lines of his body, his brow, he knew whenever he was tense Jimin would kiss him and it was like a happy pill.

But Tae couldn’t kiss him.

Instead he pushed himself under Yoongi’s arm, like a puppy burrowing into his owner, looking for attention, intent on distraction.

It was the first time Yoongi’s lips resembled the ghost of a smile. He rubbed Tae’s back in circles and Tae played with his Hyung’s fingers, wiggling them curiously. What a notion, those fingers that could create such sweet music, were ready to cause such dire pain for him. “You were so brave, Hyung.”

Yoongi shrugged. “I didn’t really do anything.”

“But you would have, right? I could never do something like that. I was so scared, and you were so strong. I wish I was that brave.”

“There’s more than one way to be brave Tae-ah.” Tae shook his head. So Yoongi continued. “I meant what I said in that text. That wonder you have about you…I envy it. You wear your heart on your sleeve, you are you all the time. I find that sort of shit so terrifying.”

“You think I’m…brave?”

Yoongi nodded. “Very brave.”

A boxy smile spread over Taehyung’s cheeks. “Yah… Hyung loooooves me.”

“I can kick you out of this car.”

“You wouldn’t do that. You LOVE me.”

Taehyung nuzzled his cheek and Yoongi shoved him away. “You’re so annoying.”

“But you love me.”

“I swear to god…”

“That you love me?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes as Tae’s sparkled back at him. “You’re lucky I do.”

 


	14. TaeJin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The resolution to the Taejin argument in Burn The Stage. Or 'Tae and Jin' learn the importance of their own voices.

It wasn’t self pity that made Tae cry, it wasn’t even frustration. In the end it was looking over at Jin, whose face was normally bright with a smile. It was looking at his Hyung and seeing him dark, shadowy and guilt ridden.

He never wanted him to feel like that. He never meant for that to happen. And though Namjoon pulled him, wet cheeked into his arms, though Jimin whispered “don’t worry, he loves you” into his ear… Tae felt his world shifting. Suddenly nothing made sense anymore.

It was almost like standing side by side with his Hyung in the trenches, and then turning their weapons on each other. It felt desperately wrong, it hurt on so many complicated levels, Tae had no idea how to start.

What made the second part of this conversation even harder, was that Jin had actually done what Tae had suggested in the end. He ran faster. Almost sliding onto his ass in the process. He pushed himself for Tae.

So as Jin joined him on the sofa and handed him a beer, the lump in Tae’s throat seemed to swell. He held the cold bottle loose in his hand, flicking the neck. Jin sighed and the younger felt the cushions dip beside him.

A soft hand on his arm.

“Tae-ah…don’t worry, its just me…I-“

A rush of air and Jin’s arms were full of Kim Taehyung. He laughed, laughed at how tightly the younger curled around him, at the beer sloshing onto the cream upholstery.

“Aish, watch out, the sofa…” the elder murmured, but with no real conviction in his tone. Tae sniffled into his neck.

“I don’t wanna fight with you Hyung, I hate this, I hate feeling like this.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t wanna make you sad.”

“I didn’t wanna make _you_ sad…or angry.”

Tae shook his head and leaned up, his cheeks damp, his bottom lip trembling. Jin reached over him to grab a tissue from the box. “I-I wasn’t angry Hyung, or not at you specifically it was just kinda…” he cut off momentarily, letting Jin dry his multitude of tears.

“Just what Tae? Talk to me.”

The younger sighed, and it seemed to take all the air out of his body. “Sometimes I feel like no one cares what I have to say. Like I’m just a…pretty novelty piece to stick on the end. Sometimes I feel like my voice doesn’t matter. That it could be replaced in a second.”

“You’re wrong…but I know…” Jin breathed. Tae sniffled.

“You know?”

Jin laughed, so humourless it pierced Tae’s heart a little. “Tae if there was anyone who’s opinion was not respected in this group it would be mine. You have the voice, the personality, the massive fan base. I have a pretty face and not much else. At least to the higher-ups.”

“Hyung.”

“It’s fine.” Jin grimaced, pulling Tae into his neck. “I’m grateful. I still get ARMY’s love, I get the love of Bangtan. People love me. And I get payed to be loved. Its not a bad life. I shouldn’t complain.”

“You’re so much more Hyung.” Tae promised. “I’m not good with words like Namjoonie-hyung or Yoongi-hyung, but you…your voice is so beautiful, you work so hard, to keep us all together. I understand now Hyungie…it’s been your role for so long to keep us happy, keep us smiling. But I never really stopped to think about how you felt too.”

“It’s fine…”

“It’s not.” Tae sighed hugging Jin’s waist. “You’re human Hyung, its not your job to…to tiptoe around me. If I’m sad I should have told you. None of this was your fault.”

“It wasn’t yours either. You shouldn’t apologise for how you feel Taehyungie…” he carded the younger’s hair and kissed the forehead he always hid away from the public. “You were being serious. I should have listened. No matter our age, we should respect each other.”

“Let’s not fight anymore…” Tae murmured, his lashes fluttering, sluggish against the elder’s long neck.

“We shouldn’t promise that Taehyungie. Its not about how many times we fight, its about how we recover.”

It was in that moment that Kim Taehyung truly realised the importance of his Hyung’s voice, such wise words, so considered and gently spoke. They stirred the fine hairs at his temple, stirred something else, core deep in his soul.

Because he would soon realise the importance of his own voice too.

/

Three days later the members and PD were in the throes of a heated discussion.

“We can’t do three more days!” Namjoon groaned. “We’re all of us, exhausted.”

“We have no choice Namjoon-ah…the comeback stages were corrupted. We can’t have zero comeback stages can we?”

Jin cleared his throat. “What abou-“

“And another thing Namjoon…” Tae felt a deep frustration shoot across his chest, white hot as he watched his Hyung shrink back, retreat into himself. The others had noticed too, Namjoon ignoring the PD’s incessant words and eyeing his lover with a blatant concern.

Jimin moved and Yoongi followed him. The younger’s arms circled Jin’s waist while the rapper squeezed his shoulder. Hobi too moved, his hand rubbing the elder’s back.

Kookie however stayed with Tae, feeling the intensity rolling off him, feeling the tension in his body.

“Excuse me.” He snapped. But the PDs still squabbled. So he snapped harder, raised his voice. “AISH! Shut up!”

His tone shook even himself, Kookie blinking down at him, astonished. He pulled him against him, tight… _deep breaths Taehyungie._

Tae did take those breaths, and with his new-found confidence he told them: “I apologise for my tone. My Hyung has a suggestion, please listen to him”

Kim Taehyung saw something sparkle up in his Hyung’s pretty eyes, like a map of stars. It was then Tae learned the importance of his own words. It was then Tae learnt to speak up.

“Well…” Jin started off nervously, until Namjoon made a soft noise of encouragement. “I-I was thinking…instead of spreading it over three days we…we have tomorrow free. The day after to rehearse. Then another afternoon to rest. And… the next day is the fansign, huh? We could invite the fans after as a treat. They will be the audience.”

Bang raised his brow. “How do we know enough will come?”

Jin shrugged. “We send them invitations to the emails they used to book with. We announce it on Twitter. They RSVP, if we don’t have enough we open the tickets to the public.” He leaned back against Hobi. “We organise food and drink to be handed out, we rest for an hour or two after the signing. Then we go on to record the comeback stages. Almost like a private convention, you know?”

The line of professionals before Jin seemed astonished by his ingenuity. But Bangtan didn’t, not in the slightest. “That’s very clever Jin-ah.” Bang conceded.

He smirked. “I’m no Namjoon, but I did graduate college. And I’ve been organising these six rascals for six or so years now. I know them, I know their limits.”

Tae beam and Jin beamed back. Their voices were small, but the smallest of things were always the most powerful.


	15. HopeKook/Jungseok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hobi being the final puzzle piece, Hobi teaching Jungkook the dangers of wearing a mask all the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while babies! I've been in Mallorca trying not to let my travel anxiety kill me off haha! It was good and relaxing though! And I'm back. I missed yall <3

 A star that shines as one of the brightest in the sky, will cause the greater devastation if it were to crumble or die. It was something Jungkook’s mother would tell him on a loop, back in the day, Dope Era, when Jungkook thought himself invincible.

Back then, energy was something that came to Jungkook like a running river, it came to most of them the same way. Endless.

Back then they shone for tiny rooms, for tiny crowds of which seven stars would blind. But stages became bigger, crowds doubled, tripled until the shadows who lurked between each true ARMY became stifling.

When Kookie was overwhelmed, when he was drained of juice and he didn’t want to burden Tae, he’d go to Hobi. Feed off his radiating energy. Hobi would make him laugh, make him smile, he’d dance with Kookie until he felt light on his feet again.

And whats more, Hoseok was a star which seemed would never fizzle to a stop. Mine is mine, yours is mine…Kookie was man enough to admit now, that he was selfish back then. Just a child who was never allowed to grow at a steady pace. All mismatched in different areas.

Slowly each one of them filled him in, slotted snug against his soul and spirit like puzzle pieces. Hoseok for some reason was the last to fall into place. It wasn’t that they didn’t love each other, or that Kookie didn’t identify with Hoseok. If anything, he was one of the members he identified with the most. Aside from Kookie being an introvert and Hoseok being a blatant extrovert, their roles in the group were very similar. Performance wise, the pressure was layered upon both from the beginning. Hobi led their dance, Kookie their vocals. The world had their beady eyes on them…silent, scrutinising.

So, when Kookie was overwhelmed and he didn’t want to burden Tae… he went to Hobi. They only other who could understand to his core. But even though he knew the elder understood, talking to Jung Hoseok was like talking through a glass wall. He could see him, he could hear him, but it was muffled, and he couldn’t feel him.

He had walls, a bubble around him. Fragile and set to burst.

It was only when it finally did that the last piece slotted into place and Kookie felt truly whole.

/

The shift was subtle to the untrained eye. But for six men that spent every waking moment in the presence of Jung Hoseok, it was blatantly obvious. He was quiet, so the house was quiet too. Hobi would lock himself in his room, lie over his bed in a starfish and stare at the ceiling. When his ears weren’t plugged with his earphones, the others would ask him if he was okay.

He would say ‘I’m fine’, then ‘I’m tired’, which morphed into just a sigh.

A grunt.

A growl.

Until he finally imploded.

“No! _Look_ at what I’m doing.”

“I’m LOOKING.” Yoongi snapped. “Stop fucking reprimanding me like a child.”

“Then stop dancing like one.”

Kookie watched them, quietly as he always did. Always watching and taking them in. He watched Yoongi tense.

“Hoseokie-hyung…” Jimin whispered.

Hobi scoffed. “Of course, you would defend him. The guy fucks you every night, like the rest of the world couldn’t HEAR you.”

“Be very careful what you say next.” Yoongi told him, narrowed eyes, voice low in a warning. There was a beat and Hobi laughed, a laugh that held no inch of humour in any nuance of it.

“Of course. Of course, that’s me, right? Forced energy, forced smile. Be nice, be happy. It doesn’t matter that you’re dying inside, and your legs are shaking, and you feel like you’re gonna either scream or drop. You have a job and role and that’s you and it’s all you’re ever allowed to be. Just grin and bear! Work harder! Be better and if the others aren’t too, then it’s YOU that failed them. Failed all of them! Failed ARMY. Failed your brothers. Failed yourself. I can’t do it all its…it’s too hard. It’s too fucking much, don’t you get it?!”

By this point Kookie had watched Yoongi sag. In moments like these…Namjoon and Jin would be most helpful. Or even Tae who was sweet…but brave enough to be firm.

Yoongi while good with words on paper, wasn’t so great when he was put on the spot and Jimin…well he was terrified of confrontation. Scared to be looked at in anger. Scared they would hate him.  

Kookie mulled them over. The three of them for a good few moments before lifting himself quietly to his feet.

“Hyung…” the mankae whispered. The three of them turned instantly, ever in tune with his needs. It took just a glance for them to realise who he was talking to. He held out his arms for Hobi, looking like the 13-year-old that had entered the company all those years ago. “Can I hug you?”

The request was so sweet…so gentle, that Hobi went to him without question and slumped over Jungkook’s strong frame, cheek pressed to his shoulder. For a moment they said nothing and Kookie just returned his other Hyung’s smiles, held the one in his arms.

Then he spoke up, murmured gently into Hobi’s ear.

“Hyung…you and I have the world waiting for our mistakes, have the weight of the performances on our backs. But we don’t have to do it alone. There are seven members so…let us help you. When you’re out on that stage or in front of those cameras you perform as much as you want…but here with us, be who you are. We love you no matter what…we love your heart, not your mask. Promise.”

Hobi sighed, a sigh of relief and extended his arm blindly behind him. Asking the other two to come nearer.

The elder would later thank Kookie for that moment. The notion had saved him so many times. But Kookie really thought it was Hoseok he should be thanking.

Kim Seokjin taught him manners, to be a good, humble and respectful person.

Min Yoongi taught him passion, to live and drown in passion as a way of being truly happy.

Kim Namjoon taught him the importance of hard work, of working for the team and not just himself.

Park Jimin taught him all the other selflessnesses, to be thoughtful, to give the people you love your last penny just to watch them smile.

Tae was simple. He taught him love. Real, true, unbridled love.

And the final piece…Jung Hoseok, who taught him every facet of his being no matter how shadowy would be loved. That those facets were valid, fragile and beautiful.

Hoseok taught Jungkook to be himself.


	16. Taekook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Requested by my gal Alex. Tae taught Kookie how to love. In which Kookie comes out to Tae and Tae is a sweet summer child.

Tae taught him love…it was a strange notion, but it was true. It wasn’t that Kookie was loveless before Tae. It wasn’t that he was incapable of loving another either. He merely taught him how to love properly, how to show it, how to give it and more importantly how to receive love.

In the early days before debut, Kookie would distance himself when he got lonely. It made no sense. Made absolutely zero sense, but he hated being thought of as that little kid dragging the mood down into the darkness.

All because he missed his mother, his brother, his father. He missed Busan. He missed the comfort, the warm, familiar hugs. He missed home.

He tried to craft one of his own, with rusty laughs, broken smiles and paint to patch over the cracks. But all it really did was isolate him, keep the others out.

Then came Kim Taehyung like a tornado…and he tore down those walls.

It started with casual touches, pinching Kookie’s cheeks, arms around his waist, a cheek on the youngers shoulder as he slept.

Slowly it morphed into more.

Deep conversations into the early hours of the morning, cheek kisses when he did something sweet, Tae’s whole body wrapped around him as they snoozed on the bunk beds that the seven had long since pushed together.

Kim Taehyung became his second home. Somewhere warm, familiar, where he could be his best or his worst and still be loved fierce and unashamedly.

Later after Jungkook’s nineteenth birthday…chaste cuddles would be accompanied with wandering hands. Under shirts, over thighs. Careful, curious fingers that made Kookies muscles jump. It made Tae smile the most beautiful smiles. The fond smiles of someone who knew Jeon Jungkook better than his own family and the mischievous smiles of a tease.

Always nearly there…just a taste…but Tae wouldn’t push, would never cross the line. It drove the younger insane.

He didn’t quite know when he fell in love with Taehyung. But somehow, he ended up there, Tae with his thumb caressing Kookie’s cheekbone, he looked at him like he was the whole world. And something about those eyes broke Jungkook.

His lip wobbled, his eyes pooled and his face fell into the crook of Tae’s neck. He cried, little whimpering sobs against Tae’s smooth skin.

“Kookie-ah?”

But Kookie clung harder, tighter…don’t let me go. “I’m sorry.” Tae’s arms held him closer.

“What for?” “I love you…” he gasped. “I’m so in love with you Taehyungie and I’m s-so scared.”

“Why?” he asked. So gentle, so bewildered.

“Be-Because…what if you…what if you don’t love me back or what if you hate me?”

“You see me going anywhere?” he chuckled. “Kookie-ah…have you not been here while I was groping your ass in the middle of the night? I at least find you attractive, I thought that much was kinda obvious.”

He said it so simply. He was so sure of himself, so sure of his feelings and wore them proud for the world to see. Kookie envied it, but it was also the thing he loved the most about Kim Taehyung. If you took a second to look…really look at him, everything was laid out bare for you.

“I love you…” Kookie whispered once more.

“I love you too.” Tae giggled pressing a long, soothing kiss to his temple. “Babe…don’t be scared.”

“I j-just…I never said it out loud and I…I like guys don’t I?”

“I know Kookie…” the elders long fingers carded his hair. “You’re so brave for telling me. I’m so proud of you…”

“The others…”

Tae laughed. “Yeah, it’s kinda ridiculous right?”

Kookie lifted his head, taking a moment to be dazed by Kim Taehyung’s beautiful face. “Huh?”

Tae raised his brow. “Jimin has wanted Yoongi from day one.” He rolled his eyes up thoughtfully. “Yoongi is bisexual but who the hell knows how he feels, Namjoon is Pan-Romantic or something, he’s like besotted by Jin-Hyung who is gay as fuck and ready for his dick whenever Namjoonie finally plucks up the courage…Hoseok is like not into labels but he’s got it up and in with every gender. He’s pretty, so why not get around, you know?” He met Kookies eyes again. “Then theres me…who kinda just likes a pretty face, a cute chimpmunky lil smile and voice like an earth-bound angel.”

Kookie blushed, buried his face into a giggly Taehyung’s neck. “What about you Kookie-ah? Hm? What do _you_ like?”

“You.”

Tae’s lip jutted out. “Kookie…”

“I mean it. It takes so long for me to like someone but when I finally get there, they’ve usually given up on me.”

“Not me.”

“Not you…you’re so patient. So understanding.”

“I’m in love Kookie-ah…I’d have waited a thousand years for you. Because that’s what love is, patience, kindness, constancy.  Being that one solid source of joy. Putting everything you feel second because their smile is worth a thousand of your own. We’re lucky too…because its mutual. Happiness all around.”

“I don’t know if I can love you as well as you deserve.” Kookie rolled them to the side, let his thumb trace Tae’s bottom lip.

“I trust you…” Tae promised.

Of course he did. He was Kim Taehyung, who would put his neck on the line to save a stranger, who rescued ladybirds from window sills and who talked to dogs as if they were humans. Kim Taehyung was the sweetest summer child with the hugest heart. Of course, he would trust him.

Over the next couple of years, Kookie vowed to repay that trust in kind. With little gifts and soft kisses, I love yous every morning he woke with the elder staring back.

Kim Taehyung taught him how to love. Taught him to trust. Taught him that his heart was the organ he should listen to…then his stomach…then his mind.

Food before theory, love before grub as he so eloquently put it.

Kookie and Tae shared a beating heart, a place where the younger was safe. Together they built a new home, strong foundations, pure joy and five more men to warm any space between them. It became strange whenever he returned to Busan…when his real home was waiting for him in Seoul.


	17. Sope/Yoonseok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For @so_iluv1d who requested Yoongi taking care of Hobi. In which a nasty hashtag trends and Yoongi dives to his doesang's rescue.

On an average day, Yoongi was the one to be looked after. Not that he didn’t provide anything in return. In fact, most of the reason he was so piss poor at looking after himself was the fact he was always taking care of others first.

Always working into the early hours to finish Namjoons songs, waking up early on the weekends so Jin could sleep and he would cook. He’d stay with Jimin for hours at night and comb through his anxieties, soothe every one with kind words and practical solutions. When he’d hear Tae whimper at night, he’d sneak into his and Kookie’s room, so he could pet his hair and bat the bad dreams away. And for Kookie he’d be his steady rock, remind him to take his allergy medicine, rub his back if he looked tired. Little things that built into mountains and made him too tired to think of the simple things.

Eating, sleeping, going outside.

He’d listen to one of three people. Jin; who was his Hyung. Jimin; who would coax him with kisses and sweet words. Then Hobi; who was scary when he was displeased.

When it came to waking him up, it always ended up being Hobi sent for the task. Because Jimin was too easily distracted by his lips and Jin was too busy wrangling Tae and Kookie together.

This morning however, Hobi didn’t come and he was woken by Jimin’s plush lips against his own. Yoongi’s lashes fluttered against his cheeks. He let out a long sigh and rolled onto his front under the pile of duvets and blankets.

Jimin laughed soft and fond, as his nails scratched deliciously over the elder’s scalp.

“Morning sunshine.”

The elder’s face turned toward him, eyes cracked open. “Mm, you look pretty…” he mumbled. “Where’s Hobi-ah?”

Yoongi watched something sad fall over Jimin’s face, like the sun falling from the sky and plunging him into darkness. It chased all the exhaustion from Yoongi’s bones and suddenly he was up, alert, cupping they younger’s cheeks. “What…” Yoongi rasped. “What’s happening?”

“I…have you seen Twitter?”

“No? Just tell me pretty boy…I’ll find out sooner or later.”

Jimin nodded and kissed his wrist. “Some of the antis and fans of other groups they um…started hashtags and one of them trended… about Hobi-hyung. They were being really brutal towards him and um…he’s not really come out of his room since so…”

“What were they saying?”

“Yoongi…please don’t do anything rash.”

Yoongi took a deep breath. “I won’t. I just wanna know, so I know how to make it better for him.”

Jimin seemed to struggle to even say the words, like they were against his very nature as a human. “They…called him ugly, I know it isn’t right to do that but that is something all of us have been called. But ARMY started to respond, and they started to get really nasty and…wished him dead. Threatened to hurt him, called him horrible things and told them…” he swallowed, the words stuck in his throat.

“Just say it sweetheart.”

“Th-They told them…the only way he would get laid if he wasn’t an idol, is if somebody r-raped him. And even then, he would be lucky.”

Something dropped in Yoongi’s belly. God the world could be cruel. And to the sweetest people too. Jimin seemed to sense the cogs whirring in Yoongi’s brain as he formulated a concoction that would soothe Hobi’s pain. “Jimin…”

“Don’t go on Twitter.”

“I’m not. Not yet. I won’t.  But first things first, we need to report those threats to the police. I will not neglect anything when it comes to our members, okay? Will you talk to Namjoon about it for me?”

“Of course…” he whispered, eyes wide and full of curiosity. “What about Hobi-Hyung?”

“I’ll take care of Hobi, don’t worry.”

/

The door opened, light from the hallway glaring against the back wall. A few foot shuffles later and he felt the bed dip, Hobi was being encased in wiry arms and a warm body. Too petite to be Namjoon, Jin or Kookie, too still to be Tae, to firm in his squeeze to be Jimin.

“Yoongi-yah?”

The elder grunted. “You need to get up.”

A beat. “Since when do you cuddle at will.”

“Since you need one.” Hobi seemed satisfied with his simple answer and settled back into the squishy pillow, forlorn. “You need to get up Hoseokie…”

“I don’t want to.”

“I know…but you need to.”

“Why…”

“Because if you don’t they win. And then they’ll go on to someone else, one of the younger ones and they’ll think: ‘Whats the point of fighting, when they always win’. And more importantly because you deserve to be happy. Come let us make you happy.”

“But I…”

“Have you looked at Twitter recently?”

Hobi sagged. “I don’t wanna.”

“Look at Twitter.”

“Why?”

“Trust me.”

Hoseok furrowed his brow, pouted his lips and patted out his phone. He did what Yoongi said, blindly trusting because it was Yoongi. And Yoongi never let him down.

Now was no exception.

“Aish, what did you do?”

“Read the top tweet.”

**ARMYs I have a mission: I want you to tweet three things you love about our Hope under #IloveJHopebeacause… Can’t wait to read your tweets. #SUGA #JHOPE #WepurpleJHope**

“Hyung…”

“You wanna hear mine?”

Finally, Hobi rolled towards him, nodding shyly, grin ever emerging over his sleepy eyes. “Love to.”

“I like the way you love, the way you dance and when you smile.”

“You love those things about Jimin too.” He teased.

“In a different way.” He rolled his eyes. “More layers to that love.”

“Is that your way of saying when he smiles, dances or loves you, it makes you wanna fuck him too.”

Blank faced, Yoongi replied. “Yes.” For the first time Hobi laughed. “Its more intense with Minnie, that’s all, more complex, its deeper.”

“I know Hyung…”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you as much.”

“Yes it does.” But when Yoongi opened his mouth to speak, Hobi hushed him. “It doesn’t bother me Hyung. You love me plenty, you love me well. I’m very lucky for that.”

Yoongi’s face crumpled a little. “This is getting real cheesy.”

Hobi laughed and shoved him. “It was you who climbed in here and started nearly reciting poetry. Now get out of my bed. I need to get changed.”

“Asshole.”

“I’ll leave that for Jimin.”

Yoongi shoved him too and clambered out of his bed, grumpy. As he reached the door, he turned back. “Hobi-ah?”

“Hm?”

“I’m lucky too y’know? We all are. Because of you. I don’t ever want you to feel like we don’t love you, just because we’re in love with other members or…”

“Hyung…I feel very loved right now. Yah I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Finally appeased, Yoongi slipped out the room as easy as he entered. Because that how he and Hoseok were together. Natural like breathing.


	18. MinJoon/NaMin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For my girl Alex again, who wanted squishy Mochi Jimin with Namjoon looking after him. In which Yoongi goes to Daegu for a few days and Namjoon cheers Jimin up.

“Minnie-ah…it’s just gonna be a few days.” Those gentle words and the tender caress of Yoongi’s thumb against his cheekbone didn’t do much to soothe the pinched lines between Jimin’s brows. Nor did it urge him to unwrap his arms from their choke-like hold around Yoongi’s midriff. It was something endlessly endearing about Jimin, that when he grew attached to someone he was very tactile.

He would cling on like a little hermit and never let go. Jimin had once confided that he’d lost many friends and potential love interests because he was like this.

Namjoon couldn’t help but think how dumb they all were. They had lost someone precious.

When Yoongi had finally coaxed him away with whispered words and healing kisses, he sent him into Namjoons arms. “Look out for him for me?”

Namjoon nodded as Jimin pouted against his shoulder.

Yoongi drew him into one last kiss, they exchanged the sweetest ‘I love yous’ and Yoongi wheeled his suitcase down the hallway.

/

When Jimin spent a little too long in the shower, the members knew it was one of three things: he was nervous about something, he was excited about something or he was sad.

When he finally emerged from his room damp haired, the jut of his bottom lip was definitely an indicator. He wore baggy shorts and a hoodie that hit his knees, it only made Namjoon’s heart swell more when Jimin curled his fists into little sweater paws and hugged himself.

The leader sighed, unplugged his earbuds and held out his arms. “Jiminie, come here.”

Jimin’s feet made soft little thumps as he padded over the carpet to the sofa where Namjoon waited. The younger looked so tiny against Namjoon, curved into a little ball with his cheek smushed to his shoulder. He looked so young, so vulnerable. Like a lone flower on the forest floor, shrouded by big strong oaks that cast him into shadows.

“I feel stupid…” he murmured. “I get so clingy, I get so upset when people leave me even if its just for now, just for a few days. I wish I wasn’t like this.”

“Don’t say that, Jimin-ah…theres nothing wrong with you.”

Jimin grumbles, his lips puckering out even further. “ _You_ don’t get like this… neither does Jin-Hyung or Yoongi-Hyung or Hobi-Hyung or…”

“Jimin.” Namjoon’s hand passed over his steam warm back. “Stop comparing yourself to other people. You’re not us and we’re not you, that’s a good thing. We need you to be yourself. ARMY needs you to be you. I can’t speak for the others but…I kinda like that you’re so tactile with us. And so open in the way you show love for us.”

There was as rustle of fabrics as Jimin shifted, head turned up to meet the elder’s eyes. “Yeah?”

“Honestly. It broke down a lot of emotional barriers for us. It made us all closer. You make people wanna treat each other better. You make us better humans Jimin. So please, just be yourself…”

Jimin blushed a rosy pink over the highs of his cheeks and covered his face, bashful in his sweater paws. “Thank you, Hyung.” He murmured.

“Yah…you’re unfairly adorable Jimin-ah.” He chuckled. “And before you ask all the members, you look very handsome today. You should post a selca later, I bet ARMY will love it.”

Jimin crunched up tighter, all flustered from the praise. “Hyuuuung.”

“Send one to Yoongi too. I bet he misses you already. He was a mess when you last went to Busan.”

Jimin cocked his head. “He was?”

Namjoon laughed, the mirth sparking like fireworks in the corners of his eyes. “He spent three straight hours saving photo after photo of you in a file on his computer. And every time he found one that he really loved he’d make this whine, like a kicked puppy.”

Jimin giggled and swatted Namjoon, pulling the strings on his hood so it swallowed up his face. “He did not.”

“He did!” Namjoon smirked, fully enjoying ratting out his Hyung. “He called it ‘My Beautiful Minnie’ with twelve hearts.”

Jimin whined and clutched at his arm. “Hyuuuuung! You’re making me miss him even more.”

“Okay, okay! What do you say we get our disguises on, go for a little Autumn walk and then get some food in town? We can video call Yoons at some point too.” He ruffled Jimin’s half dry locks. “He told me I should get you out and about. And it’ll help my writers block too.”

“Hm okay… but only so I can take cute Autumny selfies with you and send them to my man.” He teased, then suddenly a light bloomed in his eyes. “Yah! Can we get hot chocolates?”

Namjoon chuckled, eyes positively melting for the boy. “Sure… on me, but only because you’re sad today.”

Jimin beamed, springing up and shooting bullet like towards his room to change his clothes. “You’re the best Hyungieee!” he called over his shoulder.

“Aish, cute…” the elder murmured fondly as he tied the cord around his leather notebook.

/

The afternoon light spangled bright, the wind was crisp and Jimin was so bundled in scarves he resembled an actual pile of mochis.

They went for a walk, in a nearby park, were the birds sang and the trees wept their leaves. Jimin took cute pictures making leaf angels over the carpet of colours. He tweeted two and saved the finger hearts for Yoongi, accompanying it with a short clip of his beaming face, tossing a crunchy pile of amber, russet and crimson toward the lens.

Yoongi FaceTimed as they settled down for food and hot drinks, in a private little restaurant not far from home. Jimin’s face lit up like a tree and he chattered endlessly about the fun day he’d had with Namjoonie-Hyung. Told Yoongi he wished he could have been there. He missed him already.

Namjoon for his part waved and added his own little comments, but mostly he let the lovers have their moment together.

The two ate well and returned home pink cheeked with full bellies.

/

**Yoons: Hey, thank you for taking care of him today.**

Joon: Don’t worry about it Hyung! Hows Daegu?

**Yoons: It’s fine, as cringey as it sounds, I miss you guys.**

**Yoons: Has Kookie taken his allergy stuff?**

Joon: Check.

**Yoons: Jin Hyung is okay?**

Joon: He’s great.

**Yoons: What about Hobi and Tae are they sleeping?**

Joon: Hyung, we’re fine, promise. We miss you. Especially Jimin. Also, I may or may have not broken the kettle and the light switch in the bathroom.

**Yoons: You’re an idiot.**

**Yoons: Love you.**

Joon: Love you too Hyung.

**Yoons: Jimin isn’t answering… you know where he is?**

Joon: Let me have a look.

Joon: Found him!

Joon:

**Yoons: God I really love him.**

Joon: I know Hyung, don’t worry I’ll look after him until you’re back.

**Yoons: I know... look after you too. Night.**

Joon: Sleep Well Hyung!


	19. JinMin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Alex again who requested JinMin. In which an old flame insults Jimin to his face a Jin switches on savage Hyung mode.

Jin didn’t want to return to his family home for many valid reasons. The biggest being the strange looks his father would shoot him when he talked about Kim Namjoon. It wasn’t that his father was homophobic per say. He just wasn’t comfortable with who his son was. Who Jin really was. And that caused many tense dinners and underhanded comments.

He didn’t have time for it, not when he was doused daily in so much joy and laughter.

So Namjoon and Jin made a deal. They would spend a week in Busan instead, with two boys that would be craving their lovers relentlessly.

Someone needed to lift their spirits and besides…Jin loved the sea. That was another plus. He missed clear ocean and brisk wind, the way the salt would chap his lips and make Namjoon want to bite them.

Jimin’s parents were so welcoming, and his little brother was the spitting image of the elder Park son. Sugary sweetness included. Jimin seemed to be cocooned in love when he came back to Busan and Jin was glad for it. Glad the younger felt warm, safe and loved in his own home.

Jimin’s family weren’t the problem.

On the Sunday, the dancer took them to the bay for steak and seafood, sating both of his Hyung’s culinary needs in one. Kookie came of course… always down for the elder members lavishing good food upon him for free.

Jimin cooked. He wasn’t as good as Jin, but he did his best.

It was on the fifth burn that Jin decided he should insist on taking over. Jimin hissed and pouted, cradling his sore thumb in the curl of his fingers.

“Aish Jimin-ah. You’re getting clumsy as me!” Namjoon chuckled as Jin took his reddened skin and pressed it to his chilly pint glass.

“Always were the clumsy bottom, weren’t you Jimmie.”

The voice was new to all ears but two. A smile spread across Jimin’s face, and to an unweather eye, it would seem a genuine one. But Jin could see something wary laced in the lines of his expression, saw Jimin’s back straighten and his shoulders lock. It got Jin all tense and eagle eyed in a matter of milliseconds.

“Jungsoo!” he exclaimed, meeting him in an awkward sort of half hug. “How are you? It’s been so long!”

The other’s narrow eyes wandered lazily over the three members behind Park Jimin. “Yeah, you’re all rich and too good for us now huh?” he smirked.

Jimin laughed. “Don’t be silly! Just busy! I missed you guys! Have you seen Hunlee lately?!” the younger bounced on his feet and Jin couldn’t help the swell of his heart. Jimin was just so ridiculously and naturally adorable.

“Mm, I saw him every night for three weeks until he decided to get married.” He rolled his eyes. “Straight people.” He lay a hand on Jimin’s hip and the dancer swallowed. “This is why I missed _your_ face. What do you say we have our own private little re-union? Somewhere nice and secluded.”

Jin’s skin crawled, he felt Namjoon shift unsettled, heard Kookie cough as he choked on his diet coke. This man was vile.

“Oh uh-um…” Jimin backed away, pulling effectively out of the other’s grasp. “I’m sorta entertaining friends and I uh…”

The other groaned and rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me, you found some pretty boy to fuck you in the industry and you’re ‘in love’.” He took a swig of his wine and swirled it, like blood in his glass. “What, is it one of these guys? The little ones cute… whats his name again, Joonwook? I’ll have him if you don’t want him.” He leered.

Jimin’s brow furrowed and Jin calmly caught Namjoons shoulder as the elder snapped forward

“Namjoon…” Jin warned him, so quiet that only the pair could hear. “Don’t rise to it.”

Jungsoo raised a brow. “Wow, its tense in here.” He chuckled. “Looks like the tall one could use a proper fuck too.”

“Stop.” It was quiet, but it was there. Jimin ever timid. “Please…Soo. If you’re mad at me, if you’re still angry that’s okay but please don’t take it out on them. They’re…they’re good people, the best. They don’t deserve…”

“Why would I be mad?” Jungsoo spat. “Don’t flatter yourself, you’re a second-rate idol and a boring fuck, you’re decent looking at best. Little too chubby for my liking. I’ve moved on.”

This time Kookie stood, fury flashing red in his eyes and treacle coloured liquid knocked flying, showering the linen table cloth. Namjoon was up with him, holding the mankae hostage in a cage of two arms.

Jimin jumped as if Junsoo slapped him. “I…”

“All these little girls tell you you’re pretty and talented and you get above yourself. What you really are is easy.”

“Jimin-ah.” Jin’s voice flooded the vicinity. Low and authoritive. For once he truly sounded like the eldest Hyung. “Come here.”

He held out a hand, _come to me sweet boy._ Jimin turned to him and Jin didn’t miss the flutter of his chest, the tears clinging to his bottom lashes. That sweet boy’s spirit was crushed and as easy as it would have been for Jin to grab that vile creature by the scruff of his neck, or maybe threaten him with numerous counts of grievous bodily harm, he took a deep breath.

He pulled Jimin behind him, snug and safe.

“Jungsoo is it?”

The man glared. “Who’s asking?” he sneered.

“Oh, you know who I am. On the other hand, who are you?”

“I…”

“I bet you’re that type that likes to blame all his misfortunes on the deeds of others right? That guy who totally brushes over their own complete lack of talent, charisma, wit or any redeemable personality trait. How many people have told you lately that you were beautiful? That didn’t fuck you and throw you to the wolves like a salty, chewed up flank of beef directly after?”

Asshole was silent.

“Park Jimin is worth a thousand do nothing’s like you. Now if you’ll excuse us…we need to consume our dinner and get some sleep. Or haven’t you heard, our world-wide stadium tour restarts tomorrow?”

Jin tilted his head as Jungsoo’s eyes darted around for someone to cling to, someone who would defend him. But alas, he was as lonely and bitter as he seemed.

“Listen…”

“Oh, I’m sorry…further questions? Please refer to our songs IDOL and MIC DROP. I don’t know if you’ve heard of them, they’re Billboard Number Ones?”

“I…”

“Goodbye Jungsoo.”

With nothing left to fight with, the guy slammed down his wine glass so hard it shattered, he barged through a gaggle of people near the entrance and fled.

Namjoon, the gentleman he was, immediately rushed to help the bar-woman with the shattered fragments. Kookie eyed Jimin, who clung to Jin’s back, nose buried between his shoulder blades. “I’m so sorry you had to see that Hyung…” he whimpered.

Jin shook his head, pulled the smaller around and firm into his chest. “Don’t be silly Jimin-ah…don’t apologise.”

“Yah…Hyung was so cool.” Kookie beamed, his front teeth flashing bright between his parted lips.

Jin smirked. “Hyung was always cool. You we’re all fooled by my impeccable humour and pretty face into thinking I was submissive.” He combed back Jimin’s hair and lifted the younger’s face, dabbing it with his grey sleeve until it was speckled. “Who was that fool, Jimine?”

Jimin sniffled, voice soft and barely audible. “Um…his name is Jungsoo, he took my virginity on Valentine’s day when I was sixteen, when I didn’t want to do it again the next night…he got mad. Had sex with one of my best friends. He called me after Dope gained attention. He…he sounded so sorry. Said he missed me.”

Jin sighed. “Jimin…you deserve so much better. I wish you could have had better than him.”

“I have so much better.” Jimin nodded. “No person, planet or entity could ever take me from Min Yoongi. I just… sore spots, you know? It’s stupid really…”

“You’re incredible Jimin. All those millions can’t be lying to you at once. You are loved. You are adored.”

Jimin smiled, watery, blotchy, like a sand castle that had crumbled under the tide, one that Seokjin was trying to patch back together. “Thank you Hyung…thank you for being strong. I was just so taken aback I couldn’t....”

“I know… don’t worry. You’re my doesang. Hyung will always keep you safe.” He promised, he drew the younger’s head into the crook of his neck, held him there for a moment. Then his voice rumbled close to Jimin’s ear. “Jimin-ah?”

“Hm?”

“I love you dearly, but I just saw our steak and crabs leave the kitchen.”

Jimin giggled, his eyes disappearing behind crescent moons, the sound high like wedding bells. In that moment Jin thought how ridiculous Jungsoo really was.

“When we get home.” He murmured. “You find Min Yoongi and you let him remind you how wanted you are.”

Kookie groaned and Jimin thwacked Jin’s chest weakly. “Hyuuuuung!”

Jin chuckled. “I mean it! I grant you permission.”

“Gross Hyung!” Jimin complained, but it was so half-hearted it hurt.

He ate his entire meal with his cheek squished against Jin’s arm, and Jin’s heart sang to see him so content. It was what Park Jimin deserved.


	20. VMon/ TaeJoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For so_iluv1d who requested a staff member mistreating Tae and OT7 is angry. In which Namjoon almost kills a man and Tae is a sweet summer child that doesn't want to burden anyone. Also in which Yoongi calls Tae a window. Just read it you'll understand <3

If there was ever a moment that Namjoon realised the importance of his role in the group, it was in the early days of their debut.

He’d discovered the abuse of his doesangs through the grapevine, had stormed thunder faced into the offices only to find Yoongi already there. Yoongi was a firecracker back then, screaming at the PD with such fire in his eyes and being barely contained by Sejin’s shaky hold. He reminded Joon of a time bomb, being squeezed tight, pulsing, gaining momentum…ready to burst. It took Sejin, Namjoon and Seokjin as one to calm him.

Contrary to popular belief, it was Taehyung that the man had targeted with the most fearsome wrath. Taehyung, who was young, sweet, energetic. And so easily intimidated.

If he would trip during practice it was a clip round the head, if he was to show up late he was taken behind closed doors, threatened…screamed into submission. If he didn’t move fast enough to the stage, no matter how exhausted he was, Taehyung would be shoved by the man. Once so sharply that he toppled over and hit his head on the base of a microphone stand.

All when the elder members had their backs turned.

Back then Namjoon felt he had failed his mankae line. He felt the guilt crawl up and settle in the base of his throat like acid.

Curiously, both times these PDs had been discovered, it was by Taemin of SHINee fame. The ninja of the K-Pop world, Jimin had affectionately called him, when Taemin had caught the PD brandishing a microphone above Jimin’s head, as the younger cowered and curled up tiny as a kitten in the shadows.

There had been inklings from the fans before this, but when Taemin had approached Sejin, it was the final straw.

This time there had been no inkling. It happened a few months after PDs had suggested on the boys getting seperate managers, to assist them with day to day organisation, considering their already ridiculous work load.

Yoongi flat out refused, stating he would take on a PA but nothing more. Weirdly Hobi’s reaction was similar. A polite declination. For Namjoon it had been a harder question. He had a much wider spectrum of official duties that boggled his mind on a daily basis. However, he didn’t feel good handing off any of that power, espeacilly since his six Bangtan brothers trusted him so completely.

Jimin had already acquired a manager, long back. When his mental health had dipped in the WINGS era, he decided on extra help, that he needed to focus on the performances at hand. On himself. Namjoon was proud of him for that.

Kookie and Jin took help too, simply to free up a little time to work on further projects… have some free time to enjoy themselves.

Tae took a manager for one simple reason. He wanted to branch out. He wanted someone to push him. He wanted gentle nudges, but he was met by more sharp shoves that had him wincing. It had him on the cold hard ground.

Tae had sometimes thought of speaking up, telling Namjoon or Sejin or even Bang. But when he looked around, he heard rushed voices, felt heavy tension roll in waves and saw stress lines marring faces all around him.

It never seemed the right time. And his manager got worse. A man twice his size with some weight to him too.

Tae told Namjoon later that it wasn’t the physical side so much that hurt him. It was the name calling, the despise he saw in that man’s cold eyes. He hated being looked at like he was a stain on the Earth, because he almost started to belive it.

Thank god for Lee Taemin.

“Namjoon-issi?”

Namjoon turned to him a smile dimpling his cheeks. “Taemin-issi! Yah! How are-“

“Come with me.”

Namjoon frowned upon the sudden request, the elder had a pain etched in his brow. A deep concern, an urgency buzzing through his aura.

Namjoon went with his heart beating through his chest.

/

Taemin led him on his tip toes through the rumbling crowd of performers. “It’s Taehyung-issi.”

“Taehyung?”

“Shh, look. Listen.”

Namjoon came in closer to a crack in the door, one of the practice rooms. He opened his ears. Opened his eyes. Bore witness to one of his nightmares.

“I-I’m sorry I’m just tired and…” Taehyung…oh, fuck did it hurt. The whimper in his voice. He was crying. The kind of cry of someone who had been broken for so long and couldn’t take much more. It hurt Namjoon, it tangibly pained him.

“You’re lazy! Weak! And this is why all of the others are flying high and you are just a pretty piece of tack on the end. No use to anyone.” There was a sniffle.  And Namjoon glared at the guy who rolled his eyes. “You cry like a little girl. It’s pathetic. Be a man!”

“I…”

“I didn’t ask you to speak!”

“B-Buh…”

The man growled, raised his hand and Namjoon couldn’t take it any longer. He kicked open the door, the manager flinching and dropping his hand. If it weren’t for Taemin, Namjoon wasn’t kidding when he said he might have killed that man.

There was a fury white hot in him, that calmed to a bubble when Taemin grabbed his arm.

“Don’t give him a reason to sue you.”

Namjoon gritted his teeth, so hard they might break. He took out his phone and dialled Sejin. The manager made to move forward. “You-“

“If you fucking move, talk or even breathe too loudly, I’ll break your damn legs.” He moved his eyes over to Taehyung. Voice melting like butter. “You okay, Taehyungie?”

The younger nodded, wiping his nose on his sleeve, curling into a kernel against the mirrored wall. “I’m sorry.”

“Tae-ah…you did nothing wrong. You should have told me but I…”

_“Anyeonghaeseyo.”_

“Sejin-ah…come to the practice room 129.”

_“Hm, why?”_

“It…It happened again.”

_“Namjoon-what…”_

“Lee Hunji…the mankaes…”

_A pause. “Aish…again? All of them?”_

“No…no I think just Taehyungie.” The younger confirmed with a shaky nod of his head.

_“I’m coming. Wait there. Look after Taehyung. Anyeong.”_

Namjoon tapped the red button and held out his hand, his face soft, kind for his doesang. “Taehyungie, come here.”

The shorter stood on shaky legs, wobbled over to his leader and collapsed into his arms. Fixing Taemin with a weak grimace over Namjoon’s shoulder, he slackened against his Hyung’s body, barely strong enough to keep himself standing.

“Aish Namjoon.” the other idol breathed. “He’s exhausted.”

“I know…fuck I know I…”

“Hyung…” Tae pulled back, just enough so Namjoon could see his face. His eyes were wide, sincere and his lips were curved down in a pout. “Please don’t. Please don’t beat yourself up. It was my fault, I should have told you…should have spoken up. You were just too stressed and…”

“Kim Taehyung.” Namjoon admonished, his voice at least two tones deeper. It was authority. Taemin was coloured impressed. It wasn’t the kind of overpowering authority that you would come to hate after a few weeks. It was laced with fondness, with kindness. You could feel how much he cared in every single syllable. Taemin thought Kim Namjoon to be an amazing leader. “Tae. I am never to busy for my brothers. You. Come. First. It hurts me to see you like this. It kills me. I don’t care if I’m about to fall apart. Tell me. Tell Sejin. Tell anyone. But do not fight alone when you have an ARMY and family behind you.”

Tae sighed and let his forehead fall against the rise of Namjoon’s collar bone.

Sejin came moments later, dragged the manager out by the scruff of his neck. Taemin dipped out too. Tae didn’t move, not a twitch from the warmth and safety of Kim Namjoon’s clumsy arms, not until Namjoon forced him to rest.

/

 Kookie: I wanna kill him.

**_Tae: I’m okay Kookie, baby…Namjoonie-hyung did well. He was really bad-ass! You should have seen him!_ **

Joon: I didn’t really do anything.

 ** _Tae: Shush. You did much more than I did, Hyung_**.

**_ Jinnie: Aish why didn’t you tell us pabo! I’m bringing you ramen after I’ve finished here. _ **

**_Tae: Hyung! You don’t have to._ **

**_ Jinnie: I’m already coming. _ **

**_Tae: Aish…thank the lord. I’m starving._ **

_Minnie: Tae…he’s so wrong. You’re not just some… pretty piece of tack. You’re so talented and so brave and you make me smile all the time. You make us all smile. Just by being there, you know?_

**_Tae: STOP! So much love._ **

Kook: I’m coming to hug you.

**_Tae: Babeeeeeeee. <3_ **

Kook: I love you.

**_Tae: I love you too!_ **

** Hobi: My heart hurts to think that you were crying. You want me to write him into a Cypher? **

**_Tae: …This is an idea._ **

**Yoons: The window. You’re the window.**

**_Tae: Uh…Hi Hyung?_ **

**Yoons: I was thinking about it the other day… an ARMY said we feel like home. I was thinking, if we’re all part of a home to house ARMY, what would our function be?**

Namjoon: Huh.

** Hobi: I’m curious. **

Kookie: What did you decide, Hyung?

**Yoons: I’m the foundations, the steady ground to build our home around. I’m quiet, behind the scenes you know.**

Kookie: Without you we’d never have a home.

**Yoons: Hmm… Namjoonie is the roof. Shelters us from outside elements, you go to him when you want shelter, you know? Shelter from the storm outside the walls.**

Namjoon: Aish… thanks Hyung.

**Yoongi: S’okay.**

**_ Jinnie: Do me! _ **

**_Tae: YEEEEEET_ **

**_ Jinnie: I take it Tae is really the gutter where his mind lays. _ **

**Yoongi: Hyung you’re the walls. You keep us together…keep us close. Keep us as one.**

**_ Jinnie: Wol Wol. _ **

**Yoongi: I will make you the trash can.**

**_ Jinnie: MEAN. _ **

**Yoons: Minnie is the fireplace. Keeps us swaddled in comfort. Warms you to the core, shakes all the cold from your heart, you know?**

_Minnie: HYUUUUUUNG <3_

**_ Jinnie: GET A ROOM. _ **

**Yoons: We will**

**_Tae: YEEET_ **

Kookie: BIG YEETS.

** Hobi: I call me next! **

**Yoons: Lights. Brightens a room. They call it mood lighting for a reason. You make the mood, balance us all out where needed. Calm when we need to wind down, bright when we need to wake up.**

** Hobi: CUTE **

**Yoons: Kookie-ah is the water.**

Kookie: Really? How?

**Yoons: You run throughout the entire house. It’s the one thing humans NEED to survive point blank. Even if we were all on the floor, with you, we’d survive. With you Bangtan will always thrive.  You keep us refreshed, keep us watered, springing. Cleanse us almost. When life has us feeling like shit, seeing you grow, cleans all our wounds. Because at least we did something right.**

Kookie: Dead. Ow.

**_Tae: I’m the window?_ **

**Yoons: The window.**

**_Tae: Why?_ **

**Yoons: Because…without you, we’d never look upon the real world. We’d never be brave or venture out. But when we see the world through you, it seems so much nicer.**

**Yoons: You’re the reason for late night adventures, running around playgrounds, plunging into lakes, picking flowers, drinking coffee in coffee shops, seeing the world outside our comfy nook. The reason we keep moving.**

**_Tae: …Wow._ **

Joon: Shit.

_Minnie: My heart._

**_ Jinnie: Such a romantic. _ **

** Hobi: A poet. **

Kookie: A soft little kitty.

**Yoons: …**

_Minnie: Did it go past twenty lines!?_

**_Tae: Alas no._ **

Joon: Could have done better.

**_ Jinnie: C- _ **

**Yoons: I hate you all.**

_Minnie: LOVE YOU HYUNG <3_

**Yoons: …Love you too.**

**_Tae: All of us?_ **

**Yoons: …**

**Yoons: K.**


	21. JiHope/HopeMin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This sorta just turned into Yoominseok love fest but SUE me I love the three of them together. In which Jimin and Yoongi have an argument, Jimin is upset and Hobi is the best and sweetest peacemaker.

The thing with Jung Hoseok, was he was the beautiful neutral in a room of highly-strung men. He was very open emotionally, that wasn’t what Jimin meant when he told people that. But with three relationships, and an octuplet of over-active minds, he was peace. He was respite.

Jimin was perhaps one of the members who succumbed to stress the easiest. And when that happened, it effected more than just him.

The person who got the brunt of it was Yoongi, who very rarely deserved it. The younger sighed and tossed in their bed, rolling to his side.

“Come to bed Hyung…” he murmured, lips jutted out.

The blue light of the screen lit Yoongi’s face as his thumb scrolled, it made his lashes look darker and his skin even paler than usual.

When Jimin looked back, he could easily admit Yoongi looked so beautiful in that moment.

“I _am_ in bed.” He mumbled, not taking his eyes of his phone.

“No, I mean…come to bed.” He tugged the sleeve of the elder’s pyjama top and drew a plump bottom lip between his teeth. If Yoongi was looking, he would have seen that sinful little tongue dart out to wet it, would’ve seen those eyes darken, pupils swelling and nearly encompassing his irises.

But he didn’t, his eyes focused as he tapped away on his phone. “Hm, not tonight baby boy. Hyung is tired.”

As if on cue, his mouth opened wide in a yawn. Jimin’s face dissolved, his eyes went blank, he sighed and flopped over onto his back with a grunt, glaring at the ceiling. Yoongi sighed and lowered his phone.

“What? What’ve I said?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“If it didn’t matter you wouldn’t be glowering at that paint job like it murdered your parents. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!”

“Stop lying to me.”

Jimin shot up, like a trigger happy hinge. “DO YOU EVEN CARE?!”

Yoongi blinked. “Are you serious!?”

Jimin scoffed and kicked off the blankets, threw his legs over the side of the bed and bent down to pick up a hoodie. Any hoodie. His hands were shaking too visibly to be picky, a build-up of anxieties quaking like two tectonic plates at the core of him.  “You haven’t touched me all week, barely looked or said two words to me.”

“Because I’m busy Jimin. Because I’m tired! I’m trying my best.”

“Every time! Every time Yoongi!” Jimin slammed the left boot cradled in his hands to the carpet, where it bounced after a dull thud. “I’ve been trying so hard to catch your attention. Or even your eyes. So hard Yoongi. And nothing! Not one fucking kiss or gaze or smile. I just…I just…”

“Minnie…”

“If you’re falling out of love with me…”

“Don’t be ridiculous Jimin…” Yoongi sighed falling back against the headboard.

Jimin stood there like a piece of drift wood on the open ocean and shook his head, tears breaking free of the confines of his eyelids, falling like rivers down his cheeks. “That’s me, huh Hyung? Ridiculous.”

Yoongi looked up,  upon seeing the floods he unknowingly cause, his face crumbled from its haughty scowl. “Jimin-ah…I didn’t mean that you…”

“Save it. And don’t follow me.” The younger rasped flinging the door open and slamming it shut behind him.

/

It was lonely, unfamiliar and too quiet in the halls of the hotel. The Bangtan boys and their entourage had taken over a full wing, so thankfully, no maids or attendants would wander through until morning. Jimin was free to cry.

He turned his face, now puffy from the salty tears into his knees, that were pulled tight to his chest. He’d been here for ten minutes already, trying to calm himself down enough to even just think clearly. But his mind was flashing like a rolodex, no thought or memory connected correctly with the other.

And in the end he just wanted to stop thinking.

Click.

Jimin flinched as the door directly adjacent opened and Hobi padded out, dressed in a slate grey hoodie and a bright red beanie. He froze at the sight of Jimin, and the younger dabbed his cheeks with his sleeves, embarrassed by his probably pathetic looking appearance.

“S-Sorry, Hyung…did I wake you?”

“No! No, I couldn’t sleep, that’s all! I was gonna go for a walk with Woojin PD because…” he shook his head. “Never mind that, our little Jiminnie…what’s got you so upset?” he slid down the wall, plopping down next to his doesang.

“It’s…it’s stupid really.”

“It’s not.” Hobi assured, nudging his arm with his own. “Tell Hyung.”

Jimin smiled weakly and shrugged. “Me and Yoongi-yah…we had a fight.”

Hobi’s brows almost disappeared into his beanie. “What? L-Like a punching…”

“No!” Jimin’s eyes flew open. “No, no, no! Never that. I just, I got angry at him and there was shouting, and he called me ridiculous and I dunno it just hurt, it all stung and I hate it you know? I hate fighting with him.”

Hobi tilted his head, curious. “Why would he call you that?” he murmured.

Jimin sniffled and shrugged, resting his cheek on Hobi’s shoulder. “I asked him if he was falling out of love with me.”

Hobi jutted his bottom lip considerately. “It _sounds_ kinda ridiculous, but I can’t really judge that Minnie. I mean what made you think he doesn’t love you anymore?”

“Little things, I guess. He barely spends time with me, he barely talks to me, I don’t think he’s touched me properly in like a week and I dunno…it’s just like, the passion is gone lately. He says he’s tired and that he’s busy but…maybe he’s just tired of me? It hurts. Before, he couldn’t keep his hands off me, when I’d walk into a room his eyes would be fixed on me. Like I was the only one there. Maybe it makes me spoilt or entitled or whatever…but I miss it so much. Feeling so perfectly adored by him. I know he’s stressed, but so am I. Yet all _I_ want is him. I just don’t know how much longer I can go on feeling this sad, you know? We have work to do, fans who are waiting for us. I need to…I need to decide if this is holding us back.”

“Jimin-ah? When do you think he started acting like this?” Hobi asked him after a quick and quiet moment.

Jimin’s eyes wandered over the curves of the petals and leaves, embossed in the wallpaper across from them. “I…I dunno like… three weeks? But Hyung, even tonight he was just staring at his phone, I was flirting _hard_ and he wasn’t even looking at me, just tapping away and…”

“Jimin-ah!” Hobi laughed. “Pabo, he was talking to me.”

“Huh? Wait, what’s that gotta do with any-“

“Listen, I’ll tell you, but do NOT tell him you know, yeah? He’s worked so hard on this!”

Jimin lifted his head as Hobi scooted around to face him, heart hammering in his ears. “Of course, of course I won’t if it’s important to him.”

“Yoongi really has been busy. In every moment he’s had spare from producing or practice or performance, any morsel of free-time he’s been preparing a Birthday Surprise for you in Europe.”

“What?!” Jimin hissed.

“Shh! I won’t tell you what it is. But really…he’s been working so hard on it. That’s why he’s been a little drained lately.”

Jimin covered his face with his tiny hands, his whole heart sinking. “Aish… I’m an awful person, Hyung!”

“No, you’re not Jimin…you didn’t know. What _you_ are is a man who doesn’t see the worth of his heart and his cute lil butt. In his own eyes or in the eyes of others. Min Yoongi loves you, needs you more than air. I’ve never seen two people meet and absolutely know that they were meant to be. But you and Yoongi are that exception. What you have is so special Jimin-ah. Don’t let it go because you’re lost in your anxieties. Breathe, go back in there, talk with him. Yah, he’ll take you back into his arms in a heartbeat, because its you.” He shoved Jimin’s shoulder gently and a smile spread, all watery and full of starlight across Jimin’s face.

“Aish, Hyung…thank you. For telling me. For saying that.”

Hobi’s lips curved into a little smile. “You’re welcome. Now get that pretty lil butt back in there. I bet he’s going crazy, yeah?”

“Yeah…Hyung?” Jimin grabbed the elder’s wrist before he could leave. Hobi froze.

“Yeah?”

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” Jimin’s brow furrowed in concern. Hobi laughed it off.

“Nothing bad, just had a weird nightmare…shook me up a little, need to shake it off like Taylor.” He beamed. “I think it’s because I’m not used to sleeping alone in a different country, that’s all.” He shrugged.

Jimin’s heart twanged painfully. “Hyuuung! Do you wanna sleep with us tonight?”

“No, no! You should be with Hyung tonight!”

Jimin shook his head and brushed his shorts off as he stood, pulling Hobi up with him. “We’ll be too tired to do anything. How about you go for your walk with Woojin-ah, I’ll talk to Hyungie, and when we’re done we’ll let you know, and you can come cuddle with us, yeah? You deserve to feel secure Hyung! It will make me feel better.”

Hobi cocked his head, shaking it in an almost awe.  Jimin was so sweet. But that was how they were with each other. Always on side, always taking close care of the other, always watching. “Okay, if Yoongi-Hyung is okay with it.”

“He will be! Promise!”

/

When Jimin returned, he cracked the door open gently, watched Yoongi pace the room, like a mouse trapped in a burning cage. He looked so small in that moment, in his adorable silk PJ’s, with his hair flopped messily into his eyes.

“Oh baby…” Jimin whispered, his eyes like two warm pools of caramel. Yoongi looked up, red rimmed lids and a pink nose. “Hyungie…”

“Minnie… I…”

Jimin cut him off, he strolled across the room, took his cheeks between his palms and he kissed the breath out of him.

“Shit…” Yoongi gasped, when the younger pulled back. “What was that for?”

“I’m sorry I yelled, I’m so sorry for what I said. I was being stupid.” He sighed pressing his forehead to Yoongi’s.

“You’re not stupid. And you’re not ridiculous. I didn’t mean that you…”

“Shh,” he soothed, palms smoothing over the elder’s shoulder blades. “I know. I know Hyungie. But what I was saying was ridiculous. You love me…you love me so well.”

“We can make love, we can. If you need that…”

“No…you’re so tired angel. It can wait, we have forever for that and your rest comes first.”

“What made you come back so soon?” Yoongi asked curiously, hands caressing Jimin’s thighs. Not teasing per say, merely enjoying the closeness, the warmth of his satin skin.

“Hobi-ah…he talked some sense into me.”

“Yeah? That friend is a saint sometimes, I swear.”

“You mind if he sleeps with us tonight? He’s been having nightmares because he’s sleeping alone. I think he’d feel so much better snuggling with us. You think?”

“Of course.” Yoongi whispered, already half asleep in the crook of Jimin’s neck.

/

 It took Yoongi precisely two minutes to fall asleep once Hobi was snug in bed with them.

He switched off the lamp, threw an arm around them both and was in the land of nod a few long moments later.

Jimin chuckled back at the man, who was attached to his back like a little limpet and he turned his face back to Hobi, who beamed fondly at the elder. “Hyung…thank you so much for talking sense into me tonight.”

“You would have come ‘round…slowly and very stubbornly.” He teased.

Jimin smiled sheepishly. “Maybe…but I really mean it Hyung. There’s so much extra drama you’re a part of without asking for it. You’re so patient Hyung and so selfless. It hurts so much to think of you struggling with those nightmares on your own in that big empty room.”

Hoseok’s eyes were so soft as he spoke to Jimin, a whisper under his breath so they didn’t wake Yoongi. “It’s only because its not home Jimin-ah. Don’t worry.”

“But I do!” he sighed. “I can’t help it Hyung.”

“I know…”

“Promise me while we’re on tour. If you’re struggling with things like that, message me or Hyung and come cuddle with us, we love having you here. Promise?”

Hobi sighed, relief flooding his veins, warming his bones and he nodded. “Promise.”

 


	22. JinKook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kookie doesn't listen, a sad Jin gets injured and Kookie becomes his Hyung for a hot second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh GAL! Guess who's back with new a handle. My Twitter and Tumblr are both the same so do hop over if you like. I sometimes post extra info about my fics. <3

Jin was the person who made Jeon Jungkook a man. And it was neither as sinister or sexual as that sounds.

He raised him like a father. He taught him to shave and to cook, he drove him to school early every morning. But most importantly he taught him to be respectful and considerate of the people around him. He taught him how to respect his Bangtan brothers.

“Yah, you need to be considerate of Namjoonie, he has so many responsibilities on his shoulders, he needs you to be on time and working hard.”

“Jungkookie, be considerate of Yoongi-yah. Sometimes he forgets to look after himself and his mind can fall into a dark place. Now and again, he’ll need you to be gentle with him, be gentle and don’t tease him for it. It would crush him.”

“You should be considerate of our Hoseokie, he has a lot of pressure put on him by the company to work long hours and keep up that happy mask. He needs you to not judge him for letting it fall once in a while.”

“Kookie…be considerate of Jiminie. He works until his fingers bleed, he is brutal with himself and our fans sometimes expect the world of him. Now and again compliment him, tell him you’re proud of him. It’ll mean the world, I promise.”

“When it comes to our Taehyungie you need to be considerate, hm? When life has the best of him he’s so very sensitive, he may seem so strong and well…he is, but, remember sometimes his voice needs to be heard too. Sometimes he feels like a burden, so listen to him always when he needs to spill his guts. He needs that Jungkook.”

Kim Seokjin was always the first to check up on them. When they were off camera he was always the first to compliment his brothers. But he never taught Jungkook how he should respect _him_.

The mankae found that strange. As the eldest Hyung, it should almost be in his nature to demand respect. And it wasn’t that Kookie didn’t respect him, of course he did. He respected him deeply as a person. He respected his talent, his opinion and his word. The one thing Jungkook had ever faltered on it was when respecting his authority.

Because Jin very rarely pushed that onto them.

As he told Tae once. “I don’t want to impose on you guys.”

Kookie thought now, he didn’t realise the importance of his role. He _was_ the eldest, and therefore had experienced life a little longer. But he also experienced life a little fuller too. He had been adventurous in his youth, made many mistakes, learnt from them.

It was in this area that Jungkook was seriously lacking, wrapped up and protected from the age of thirteen by his Bangtan Hyungs. It took a small but unfortunate incident for Jungkook to realise the true worth of Jin’s experienced voice.

/

All was demure in the Bangtan dorms. Jin, Jimin and Kookie were the three home, finishing their shoot early, being three of four who were comfortable in front of a camera. The fourth person being Tae, but he was scheduled last on the rota.

Jimin sloped off to bed as soon as his boots were thrown across the room, so tired he was barely keeping his chin up. Jin seemed tired too, head lolling onto Kookie’s shoulder as they watched TV, his eyes lidded and his lips parted.

In his boredom, Kookie had removed his necklace with the heavy silver pendant and began swinging it in the air.

For a while they both just watched, as it oscillated and caught the light in its intricate carvings, like the sun on the blade-like tip of an icicle ready to fall.

Then Jin spoke up, voice husky from exhaustion. “Jungkookie…it will hit me in the face and it will hurt.”

Kookie rolled his eyes and didn’t stop.

“Kookie.” It was firmer this time.

“Aish! I’m not Namjoonie-hyung!”

“Kookie you’re going to…”

THUMP. There was a gut-wrenching clink as the metal hit the eldest’s teeth, followed by a pitiful whine and the mankae dropped the stupid necklace, scrambling to his knees.

“SHIT! Oh my god, Hyung are you-“ Jin, who was covering his lips, pulled his fingers away…the tips were stained with blood. “Shit!” he cursed. “Aish Hyung…I’m s-so sorry I…”

“Kookie…” he whispered, all crimson stained lips and utter kindness. His body seemed to melt upon Kookie’s panic. “It’s okay, it’s fine, just a little cut. Just…wait here.”

Jungkook watched as his Hyung pushed up, still weak from the cushions and disappeared into the kitchen.

Something about his posture was so sad it made Kookie want to bawl. He looked so…done. So done with life at all.

On instinct the younger followed him, hovering behind the island as Jin washed his lip and held some tissue there.

“Hyung…”

“It’s fine, no real damage.” He soothed. “Just a little cut, the Noona’s will-“

“Let me help you.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not.” Jungkook sucked in a long breath and decided in that moment, he would act as a man would. As he’d seen Jin act on numerous occasions. He took responsibility for his own actions. “I was being a brat and you told me to stop. I didn’t do that and now you’re hurt. I should have listened to you. You’re my Hyung and I should listen. I’m so sorry.”

Jin’s lashes fluttered like butterfly wings, gentle, lazy against his cheeks. “You’re forgiven.” He promised, as he removed the paper towel from his lip. It seemed to have calmed down. Just a little swollen.

“Here…” Kookie murmured, he ripped another tissue square from the roll and dampened it under the running tap. His eyes turned up to Jin shyly, as he cupped the elder’s chin and began to delicately dab away all the dried up blood from the edges of the cut, careful not to tug at the wound.

Jin’s eyes were warm, like two puddles of chocolate and so affectionate for Kookie. The younger cleared his throat. “Hyung you…you seemed so sad today. Like…not yourself, y’know? Are you- are you okay?”

Jin grimaced as Kookie took the tissue away, happy with his work. “I’m well.”

“I asked if you were okay. Not if you were sick, Hyung.”

Jin sighed. “It’s…it’s fine Kookie-ah, don’t worry yourself.” His hand rubbed the younger’s bicep, a thank you.

“Its not fine, Hyung. Tell me. I might not be good at finding you an answer but, telling someone helps you feel better, right? That’s what you always tell me.”

Jin seemed to consider him for a moment and then his eyes dropped, he wrung his fingers together like he was nervous…or ashamed, something like that. It hurt Kookie’s heart. “Do… do you ever think if you left the band it wouldn’t make a difference at all? Like Bangtan would go on and thrive with out you and maybe ARMY would be sad for a month or so, but they’d get over it. Because your part doesn’t really matter anyway?”

Kookie blinked, astonished and then Jin laughed scratching his temple. “What am I talking about? It’s you. You’re the darling of Korea Kookie, if you left they would riot.”

“Hyung, I love you but you’re an idiot. We’d crash and burn without you. The interviews would be boring and awkward, the music wouldn’t have that beautiful painful quality that you voice has. Without you the videos would have little emotional depth and Bangtan’s world would be a lot less beautiful. I just mean that… it might have taken the company forever to realise your worth but Bangtan and ARMY have seen it from the beginning.”

There was a beat, where nothing more happened beyond the evolution of Kim Seokjin’s smile. “Aish you’ve grown up so well.” He murmured, pride a river crashing at the banks and begging to spill onto his cheeks.

“You raised me.” Kookie murmured. “You raised me Hyung. The other boys they, they inspire me, they made me and so did you. But it was you who raised me and I can’t repay you for that. The best I can do is listen to you and to love you as best I can.”

“That’s all I want.” Jin tugged Kookie by his wrist into his arms. “It’s all I want.”


	23. NamSeok/HopeMonster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So hey, I wrote dis while I had a cold, hence Namjoon has a shitty cold and Hobi goes HYUNG mode on him. With some woozy Namjoon <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if this one is good, I'm sick be nice to me <3

Sometimes, Namjoon forgets that Hoseok is his Hyung. Sometimes he forgets, because of his position in Bangtan, that Hobi has a few months on him and that it’s Namjoon who’s the mankae of the Rap Line. He forgets, Namjoon forgets these things, until a moment like this arises out of bad tidings and pure chance.

Here, sat almost spread eagle on the sofa of his home studio, head rolling, his round lips parted as he struggles to breathe through his nose.

It’s all blocked, stuffy, the roof of his mouth feels sore and he can’t even find the strength in his jellied muscles to grab his water bottle and soothe the pain.

Tonight, Hoseok and Yoongi are working not far from him, in their own separate studios. Namjoon knew by the stars in Yoongi’s eyes, the way he scrambled like a puppy at the door of his Genius Lab, that he would be holed up there all night, only returning if Jimin would kiss him back to Earth.

Or if Hoseok would drag him by his feet.

He figured Hobi would have left by now, after dance practices he very rarely had much inspiration. It was on tour or on vacation that Hobi thrived most affluently. Yeah…he’d have gone home, must have. And Namjoon was safe to just…wallow with his migraine and snotty nose.

And so, he’ll just rest here. He’d just…

Taptaptap.

Namjoon moaned and cracked an eye open, he watched the silhouette loiter at his door. Too tall to be Yoongi or Jimin, too still to be Tae, not broad enough to be Jin or Kookie?

“Hello?” the silhouette called.

“Hobi-ah?” he croaked out.

“Namjoonie?! Huh, why do you sound so weird?! Let me in.”

“S’open.” He moaned. The door opened with a click and Namjoon’s eyes fluttered like wings, bracing himself for the lecture. If there was one thing that Hobi always got on at him about, it was that Namjoon always forgot to take the time to look after himself. Or that if he did, he did a real half assed job of it.

Up until recently he’d thought that was because it made more work for Hobi, who would have to help Dance Teacher-nim to rearrange the choreography or in some cases learn Namjoon’s verses. Perform on his behalf.

That was until a few weeks back, just before their comeback stage for IDOL.

_Namjoon showed up late, this was not an abnormal turn of events for them, Namjoon was often in meetings that ran over their allotted time. But usually, when he returned, he could fall into performance zone almost instantly._

_Not today. Hobi could see him in the corner of his eyes, his brow furrowed in frustration as he tripped over his feet and struggled to keep up._

_“Stop the track, please!” Hobi called, and the leader ran straight into Tae, jostling the younger and barely catching him before he tumbled. The assistant clicked pause and the music came to a jolting stop. Namjoon sunk into a crouch, head buried in his hands. **Get it together Namjoon, think…** he told himself, **thinkthinkthink.**_

_“Everybody, take five! Grab some water!”_

**_Stupid legs. Stupid gangly body. Stupid-_ **

_A shadow passed his closed eyes, temporarily blocking his light. “Namjoon-ah~.” The leader sighed, swept the sweat from his forehead and met Hobi’s eyes. So…so pinched in concern for him._

_“I’m sorry. I can do better. I’ll be perfect before the performance, I promise you. Promise you Hobi.”_

_The elder shook his head and lowered himself to the floor, his butt making a little thud as it hit the wood. “It’s not the performance I’m worried for, it’s you.”_

_Something warm and sweet curled up in Namjoon’s heart, like a warm spoon through a tub of vanilla ice-cream. He’d rarely seen Hobi look so serious like this. Not for a long time anyway. In that moment he was reminded vividly that Hoseok was his elder. In that very moment, between the gentle hand rubbing his shoulder and the concern marring their dance leader’s face, Namjoon felt safe._

_“Yah, how much sleep did you get last night?”_

_Namjoon scratched his temple. “Uh, like half an hour?”_

_Hobi huffed a breath. “Kim Namjoon, you’ll kill yourself like that! Go! Go take a nap! At least two hours before you come back!”_

_“But we…”_

_But something locked in Hobi’s eyes. Something like steel. Stubborn, strong and unmoving. In that moment he wasn’t Hoseok: His friend or even Hope: his dance teacher. He was Hobi, his Hyung, who demanded obedience, who loved him too wholly and knew him too completely to take any of his bull-shit. “Don’t make me drag you Namjoonie. I will drag you.”_

_Namjoon decided to comply._

 

Three weeks later he found himself in a very similar position. Hobi taking one good look at his brother and crawling onto the couch, sweeping the back of his hand over his forehead to take the temperature.

“You’re not too warm…your breathing sounds funny though?”

“M’nose’s stuffy…” he admitted under his breath.

“Okay…” Hobi’s voice was so gentle it made Namjoon jump a little.  But the elder simply slid off the couch and grabbed Namjoons water bottle. The leader made one vain attempt to hold the bottle himself, in hands that trembled like a freight train. But Hobi quickly cocooned his hands up in his own, steadied his trembling palms and helped him quench his thirst.

“What do you need?”

The quiet request surprised Namjoon. This was Hyung Hobi, but this was a different kind, one who was calm, who was obliging. He was a Hyung who had his heart ribboned around every motion, every word. Jung Hoseok was increasingly becoming one of the most layered men he’d ever met, a strong rival to even Yoongi.

He mulled the question over quietly, before he finally whispered. “Jin…I need my bed, and I need my Jin.”

Hobi smiled, one of those classic Hobi grins that were all teeth and shiny eyes. “Of course you do…”

/

Hobi had Jin come to the studio from across the house. The eldest member found his lover curled against Hobi’s shoulder, barely in the land of the living. He found Hobi rubbing soothing circles into his back and _Yiruma- Kiss The Rain_ playing at low volume through the speakers.

Instantly, Hobi squeezed the taller man. “Namjoonie… Seokjinnie has come for you.”

Namjoon blinked his eyes open and immediately let Jin pull him into his chest. Warm and snug against the cotton of his pink hoodie. “My Joonie, how’re you feeling.”

“Bad.” He sniffled. “Hey. Hey Jin? I love you. Love you long time. Love youuuuu.”

Hoseok snorted and Jin smirked. “Are you a little tired, sweetheart?”

“Mhmmm. Hey, Jinnie?”

“Yes Namjoon?”

“You know Hoseok? Hobi. J-Hooooooope.

Both Jin and Hobi shared a raised brow and Hobi practically crushed his teeth to stifle a laugh. “I’ve heard of him.”

“He’s so _nice,_ baby! And scary sometimes but like, I really love him you know. Not like you. I love you and your dick too. Hey! You know according to Kookie, Hobi has a real HUGE-“

“Okay! Time for bed.” Jin cut in hauling Namjoon to his feet and leaving Hobi in his studio to cackle.

By the time the sun rose and the two of them were out of bed, Joon was feeling much better and Hoseok was teasing his doesang with a multitude of big dick jokes.


	24. JiKook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jimin saves sixteen year old Jungkook's life and Jungkook saves him back four and a half years later.

 At the age of sixteen, Jungkook’s life was saved by Park Jimin. That wasn’t a dramatisation, nor a skewed view of the facts, cooked up in his hormone riddled brain. Jimin had acted as a true hero. Had dived head first into the deep end with no real inclination that he would break the surface unscathed.

And he did it without a thought.

Did it for Jungkook.

/

_In the year between debut and their first anniversary, Bangtan achieved (in their own words) the minimal of their dreams. A concert tour, an album released and a loyal fanbase that they affectionately named ARMY. Their name was out there, floating in the shadowy peripherals of the Korean public eye. Even so, very little was properly praised and when it was, it was almost always about Jeon Jungkook._

_Their centre._

_Their gold-dust._

_A tiny sixteen-year-old diamond with a baby face._

_Kookie had never really known his power as a performer, or as a person for that matter. And because of this he had been naive…so very naive. You see, long before Bangtan were revered as a unit, there were legions of young girls screaming for their mankae… for their little Jungkook._

_And some saesang fans went beyond that, some fans were so overcome with passion, they’d grab him, squeeze his body, bruising his supple skin and scaring him half to death._

_Because one of those saesangs was no big deal, but when they gathered in a mob, crowded and closed him in, it was lethal._

_It was after a Red Bullet date that it almost became so. The stage door was trembling, pulsing, like it was set to burst, Jungkook buried his face in Taehyungs back. He could hear their voices rumbling as one on the other side of the iron, it was akin to the sound of an oncoming train that rattled the tracks beneath it, coming closer and gaining momentum._

_They had compressed the mankae line in the centre of their formation. Namjoon would go first, taking the brunt of the impact as their leader. Then it was Jin, followed by Tae, Kookie, Jimin, Hobi at the rear and finally, Yoongi… who insisted he was the last one through. That if anyone had any chance of scaring them back, it would be him._

_That was before the world discovered just how soft Min Yoongi could become._

_There were guards outside that door, battling to keep the crowds at bay. In the end they couldn’t._

_“Right…” Namjoon called over his shoulder. “Everyone! Remember to hang onto the member in front of you! Hold tight! We’re gonna have to brave this!”_

_Jungkook swallowed the lump stuck in his throat, clung heavy to Tae as more guards bracketed them._

_There was a collective intake of air, and they pulled open the doors._

_Jungkook was deafened first by the roar. In the echo of the alley way, they sounded as though they could fill a stadium. And he watched his members be sucked one by one into the storm. He held his breath, buried his fingers in Tae’s hoodie and fell in behind them._

_The ground trembled and he was knocked from side to side, tripping, stumbling, leaning on Taehyung like the last rock in the ocean._

_“EVERYONE GET BACK! GIVE THEM ROOM!””_

_Jungkook gasped, felt something solid and warm collide with his legs. A crop of long black hair by his hip, a fan who had hit the ground._

_And without a thought he caught her hand. Without a moment to think, he went to help her._

_A bad move._

_She screamed, shrill in his face. Tugged him hard. Until he was falling head first into an abyss, torn from Tae’s back and Jimin’s grip._

_“Jungkook! Somebody get Jungkook!”_

_“KOOKIE-AH!”_

_Back then he couldn’t really decipher the voices. But there was a moment between, when all there was were torsos caging him, limbs kicking out and marking his gentle skin. He covered his head, whimpered into the concrete and prayed to some god somewhere to bring him out alive._

_He was sent an angel moments later._

_“Jimin! JIMIN-AH!”_

_A hand enclosed Kookie’s wrist. He was being tugged, dazed, through a flurry of flashing lights and hands that curled grotesquely toward them._

_They were shoved into a van, the door slammed behind them and the air inside thick with tension._

_Jungkook blinked rapidly against the tears in his eyes, fighting to clear his vision. It came back in stages. First colour, shadows, flashing lights. A flash of red. Then there were figures, two huddling by him, four in front._

_He dug the heels of his hands into his eyes and scrubbed them dry. And then he saw the scene before him, Jin was being passed tissues from Hobi behind, Yoongi beside him screaming about security to their managers in the very back. Namjoon was speaking to him, but it was all fuzzy. Tae too. Something gentle about his face._

_He couldn’t hear them or focus, because Jimin was sat across from him. Bleeding a stream of crimson from his forehead to the corner of his eye._

_“Kookie…” Jimin murmured. “Please don’t worry.”_

_Kookie’s fingers quivered and he felt Tae wrap his whole body like a shield around him. “Hyung…” the mankae whispered. “Your head…”_

_“Is fine.” Jin murmured dabbing him clean and laying a soft smile Kookie’s way. “Just a cut Kookie, not too deep. It looks worse than it is.”_

_Jimin grimaced, he leant up and at Jimin’s touch against his thigh, Yoongi quietened. “Hyung, no shouting…just for a second…I think Jungkookie is a little overwhelmed.”_

_Yoongi took a deep breath and nodded, Hoseok rubbing the elder’s side._

_It was then that Jimin reached out a palm for Jungkook. The younger took it, pale face and wide eyed. “Hey…” Jimin whispered, all sweet and tender. His face was still adorably round back then, it seemed so impossible on the surface, that the dancer could have pulled him from a current so strong._

_But he had. He had saved his life._

_“How are you feeling Jungkookie?”_

_“M-My head hurts…and my ribs. I’m sorry Hyung…I let go I…”_

_Jimin shushed him. “It’s alright Kookie. It’s fine now.”_

_“We’ll have you both looked over when we return…” Namjoon rumbled from his left. “And we’ll have a serious fucking conversation about security.”_

_Tae piped up, barely audible. “But the cost.”_

_“Is nothing.” Yoongi bit in, firm. “The safety comes first. Safety before anything. Remember that.”_

_It became their mantra from that day on. Safety first, safety second._

_“Why did you do that Hyung?” Kookie croaked. “You’re hurt…it could have been worse.”_

_Jimin lifted his eyes and let them roll over Kookie’s pale little face. “When I saw you fall into that damn crowd, I saw my baby brother in trouble. I couldn’t leave you.”_

_“You’re- You’re brother? You saw Jihyun?”_

_Jimin furrowed his brow. “No Jungkookie…I saw you.”_

_/_

With that one traumatising instance behind them, Bangtan had barely been touched ever since. The security detail was almost quadruple nowadays and so, big crowds were nearly always easily navigated.

As they got bigger, as their name became legend, it was in the so called ‘safe spaces’ where the weirdos crept.

In shadows, in corridors. And they needed to be alert.

One night, Park Jimin was not.

 It was Day Zero of the “Love Yourself” Tour, the Bangtan Boys celebrated with red wine and soju. Clinking flutes, giggle fits and bad dancing. Eight glasses down and Jimin was wavy, his vision hazing at the edges.

He slipped away without a word, stumbling into the little private garden and dropping onto the bench, a silly grin stretching from ear to ear. He didn’t notice the guy enter the garden after him. A waiter who untied his apron and threw it over the table in front of Jimin.

“Had too much to drink, huh?” he smirked.

Jimin opened his eyes. The man was alittle shorter than Namjoon or Jin…taller than Tae or Kookie. He was wide set and his face was sharply structured. He looked like the sort of guy that thought himself a model, after being in a wishy-washy local ad.

“Mm, sorry… just getting some air…” he slurred. He pushed himself wobbly to his feet and giggled. His legs were like jelly. _Wibbly wobbly jelly._

“You’re so fucking cute.”

Jimin blanched, and suddenly the light of the street lamps was being blocked by the body that loomed over him. The dancer felt bile burn in his throat. The guy smelt like cigarette smoke and sweat.

“Excuse me…” he murmured. “I need to…”

“Stay here with me.”

“The others’re waitin-“

“Let them wait…lets have some fun. You like fun don’t you Jimin-ah?”

Jimin swallowed and weakly pushed his arms as his hand settled on his ass. “Take your hands off!” he hissed.

“Come on man, I know you’re queer. Written all over you isn’t it bottom boy. I won’t tell the press, if you suck me with those pretty lips like a good little slut.”

“Get off me!” he cried shoving at him with his noodle like arms.

“Shut up!” the taller growled, shoving the smaller up against the brick.

“GET OFF M-“

But suddenly the pressure keeping him pinned to the wall was gone. Jimin had to blink a few times to gain his bearing.

“Jungkookie! Don’t!”

The mankae was older now, stronger. So, pinning that despicable prick to the ground was child’s play for him. “Can’t take no for an answer, huh? You fucking pervert!”

“Kookie stop! Please stop!”

The man choked under Kookie’s hold. “Hyung…he…”

“I know. But take me inside. Please. If Yoongi-Hyung finds out and he’s still here. Shit…he’ll be arrested Kookie. Just… let this…this freak scurry on, yeah?”

Kookie bit his lip, so hard Jimin was convinced he’d draw blood, then his hand flashed forward and Jimin’s heart dropped.

But he didn’t hit him. He ripped the name badge from his shirt, tearing the thin material. “Lee Gunho is it? Say goodbye to your job.” He shoved him against the floor and climbed off. “I’d get out of here sharp, if Yoongi-Hyung catches you, you’ll be losing a limb too.”

Lee Gunho scarpered quick after that.

There was a short silence, of whistling wind and heavy breathing.

“Kookie…you…you shouldn’t have done that. He could have gone to the papers. Told them-“

“I don’t care.”

“Kookie-ah…”

“I don’t care Hyung!” he panted. “When I saw you…when I saw him…I saw my brother in trouble. You think I would have just left him to…”

“Oh…oh you saw Junghyun?”

Jungkook shook his head. “No…I saw you. I saw my brother. I saw my Hyung.”

Jimin sighed and tugged at Kookie’s hand. “The tables’ve turned, huh? C’mon let’s go back.”

“You need to tell Yoongi-hyung.”

“I will. He’ll buy you so many lamb skewers you’ll burst.”

Jimin laughed a wobbly laugh, still shaken from his attack. Kookie squeezed his palm. “Well, some good came out of that prick then.”

Jimin hiccupped a laugh, and he tugged Kookie back inside where it was warm.


	25. YoonJin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jin finds Yoongi crying in the middle of the night and Yoongi spills his heart to his Hyung <3

From the trainee days, all the way up until around two years prior, Min Yoongi had wore a perfect white marble mask. Had lived his life under a frosty veil, wearing a stony expression. It pushed them away, all those people with sunny dispositions.

All except Park Jimin. Tiny, smiley Jimin, so bright he pierced that veil and warmed his bones. Made Yoongi melt in moments.

Jin watched it happen quietly from the side-lines. It all unfolded so quickly, he could practically feel the panic roll off his pale doesang in heavy waves. Suddenly, all his emotions were stripped bare and he was exposed to them. He was scared, though he tried to hide it. He was terrified of baring his true face, of what they may think of it.

Though Jimin was the first to notice the softness behind the stone, Jin was the first to see it in person.

/

It was the dead of the night, the air was too still and Jin’s Hyung senses were buzzing. He lay in bed, restless beside his new lover, who slept so diligently around him that even when he pulled out of his clutches, Namjoon merely pouted and pulled a pillow sleepily into his arms.

Jin kissed his cheek, a ‘sleep well’, and wandered down the halls to the kitchen. He paused before he got to the door.

There was a dull light coming from the room, and a faint sniffling that echoed around its walls. Somebody was crying.

That somebody, it turned out, was Min Yoongi. He met Jin’s eyes from over his coffee mug, damp cheeks and red rimmed lids. It broke the elder’s heart as he watched Yoongi’s plush bottom lip tremble.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you, Hyung.” He rasped, pushing his fingers through his dishevelled mint locks. “I’ll sleep soon, sorry.”

Jin blinked. He moved towards him, as Yoongi wiped his nose on his pyjama sleeves. For a moment, Jin just looked at him, let Yoongi gather himself up a little before he spoke. Then he reached for him across the table, holding out his palm and waited.

Yoongi’s eyes watched it hover there for a second. Then he met Jin’s eyes, tightened in pain, his brows wrinkled. He took his hand, if anything to soothe his Hyung.

It felt nice. Skin on skin, human contact. It was comforting.

“Yoongi…”

“I’m okay.”

“Yah, stop saying that. You don’t mean it. I’m your Hyung, speak to me.”

Yoongi pressed his lips together. “I…I don’t know how.”

“Start at the top. Work your way down.” He squeezed his hand. “Don’t censor yourself.”

Yoongi swallowed the lump in his throat, felt his mug cool under his palm. He spoke after a long silence, but he spoke. “My music…its been my life for so long. I can compose a hard beat, a pretty one too. But when it comes to words, I don’t even come close to Namjoon-ah. Up until recently I didn’t understand why.”

“Now you do?”

He nodded, eyes welling again. “I think so…”

Jin smiled, soft, patient. “Tell me why.”

“I thought for so long, that strength was destroyed with tears. That emotions were dangerous. That they were weak. Easily bruised. So to be strong, you needed to get rid of them, y’know?”

“Yeah, I do, keep going…”

“I-I never knew why I couldn’t write a love song. It wasn’t like I couldn’t love. I loved other people so fucking much. I love my parents and my brother, I love my puppy. I love you guys. I love Park Jimin. I love him so fucking much, but it’s not loving you all I’m afraid of. What if I do it you know? Put it all out there, let it all crumble and stand in front of you like this, fucking shaking and begging for you to all love me back. If you laughed, Hyung, if anyone said it wasn’t enough, it would break me. If I wrote a love song and the world teased me for it. It’s like they’re mocking who I am, you know?”

“Yoongi…nobody would-“

“Hyung, I know. Deep down I do. And I wish I wasn’t like this. Because fuck. It’s so exhausting. It’s so fucking lonely out here in my own head. I’m so sick of being the dark cloud and pushing people away. I wish my Mankae’s weren’t scared to hug me. I wish I could jump around, be silly and not care what anyone thought, but I do.” He took a deep breath and thumbed the tears from his cheeks. “Can I tell you something, Hyung?”

“Of course. Anything.”

“Sometimes, when I’m holed up in my studio, I’m not even working. I just take my dinner there and eat alone. Because I don’t wanna darken the mood. I don’t wanna ruin the fun. Because I want you guys to smile.”

Jin closed his eyes. Aish, that was the one that hurt the most.

“Min Yoongi…” he breathed. Then wordlessly he stood up, he moved round the table and he tugged Yoongi to his feet.

“Hyung?”

“Shh.” Jin hushed him and pulled him tight against his body. “Just shut up and let me…” he squished his doesang, and he couldn’t help notice how incredibly small Yoongi felt in his arms. For all his swagger and stage presence. He was still a tiny little thing in need of a good dose of love.

“You’re enough.” Jin breathed. “You’re enough as you are.”

And speaking of love.

“Hyung?” the voice was soft, honeyed, so sweet. It could only belong to one person.

Yoongi lifted his tear sodden face, dabbed at his cheeks and tried a smile for his lover. “Hey Minnie-ah? What’re you doing up?”

The younger’s brow crinkled. “I woke up and you weren’t in bed…Hyung? Are you crying?”

Jimin swept forward and gathered Yoongi’s cheeks in his palms. Jin’s lips pressed to his forehead and then Jimin’s. “Yoongi-yah, you should tell Jimin what you told me.”

Jimin’s bottom lip jutted and he pressed gentle kisses to Yoongi’s cheeks, the other man closing his eyes, drowning in it. “Okay… yeah.” He bit his lip. “My coffee went cold. Shit.”

“I’ll make some tea. Jimin-ah? Tea?”

Jimin nodded, forehead pressed to Yoongi’s shoulder. “Yes, please. Thank you Hyung.”

“H-Hyung?” Yoongi murmured, as Jin went to turn away. Jin stopped for him, met those eyes that were so brimmed with emotion.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for…for not teasing me. For listening.”

“I love you, Yoongi-yah.”

“I know… you too.”  


	26. VHope/Taeseok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologise endlessly that this took so long. I was wacking my noggin off the wall with a writers block, but here's three thousand words of VHope.  
> I which foetus Tae comes out to his family and Hobi is there to protect him. <3

  Taehyung’s thumb brushed the gentle skin under Jungkook’s eyes, listened to his gentle, even breaths and thought long about how much he owed to Jung Hoseok.

Long before he had the courage to admit his love to Kookie, he’d come out in a flurry of stuttered words to his members.

Jimin had beamed, kissed his cheek. Told him _“I know Taehyungie, me too.”_

It made him cry. So fucking hard.

Three hours later, he went to his first hyung. Yoongi had blinked.  Shrugged. He rolled his eyes with an affectionate sigh and murmured: _“Okay…is that it?”_

And it made him cry. Even harder.

Namjoon had thanked him for being brave, rubbed his arm and told him _“I’m proud of you.”_

Which made that boy cry. It made him cry even harder than before.

Jin blinked at him, tilted his head and asked his Doesang his thoughts on Brad Pitt. _“Yah, you should have no thought. He’s mine,”_

It made Tae laugh. Then it made him cry. So heavy and hysterical he would laugh to this day at the memory of Seokjin’s face. The wide-eyed horror that still had Tae creasing up.

Kookie had blushed upon his Hyung’s announcement, he’d stared down at his fingers and pressed his lips tight like he was fighting a smile. _“Good.”_

And for some reason, all Tae could do was smile.

Hobi…well Hobi was the most pleased of all. _“YAH! You really had me worried Taehyungie! Yah! I thought you were ill!” he beamed, swatting his shoulder. “You shouldn’t do that! My heart is sensitive!”_

_“You-you don’t mind, hyung?”_

_“Mind? Aish, what is there to mind?!”_

_The sense of relief overwhelmed Tae’s tired little mind, he fell into Hobi’s arms with a quivering lip and frame that trembled like a leaf in the breeze. The elder simply laughed, his arms looping his waist, hand cradling his body and the back of his neck close to Hobi’s beating heart. “Our Taehyungie, we love you no matter what.”_

Tae had stayed nestled against his Hyung for a while, and when he lifted his head, Hobi swiped his tears with a tender thumb.

_“You told your parents, right?”_

Wrong. Tae had only told his six.

With a blush high on Tae’s cheeks and a set of downcast eyes to match, Hobi had gently urged him to do so. But it wasn’t so simple for Tae.

It wasn’t so simple for anyone.

Tae’s mother and father had always been at odds with one another. His mother a free spirit and his father a firm hand. Sometimes, a too firm hand. And Taehyung was a beautifully sensitive person, a lovely trait until it fell into the wrong hands. When Kim Taehyung fell into the wrong hands at the wrong time, he was so easily crushed.

Which is why Hoseok felt so protective when his doesang’s fingers played with the hem of his shirt, and he told Hobi. _“Hyung, I’m scared to.”_

_“Don’t worry. I can be there. I’ll come with you.”_

 Hobi, angel he was, put the weekend with his parents on hold, he flew to Daegu with Tae. There was no question, no complaint. He threw his things in a suitcase and flew across the country to stand by his side.

On the plane they whispered to each other, held hands, formed a game plan. Tae would begin with his siblings.

/

_It was one of those perfect autumn evenings. The sun hung low in the sky and coloured the tips of delicate flower petals orange, fire flies whizzed in little storms by the plum tree, and Tae watched as Hoseok raced Yeotan from the end of the garden, back toward the house._

_Tae fiddled with bare toes and refused to look his sister or his brother in the eyes._

_“Taehyungie,” Eunjin sighed, sweeping her hair back behind her shoulder. “Are you gonna tell us what’s wrong?”_

_Tae shrugged. “There’s nothing…wrong. I…I just don’t know. Maybe you will see it as a problem?”_

_Eunjin cocked her head, turned her gaze to Minhyun who shrugged. “Tae…you’re our brother. The brother who screamed at Appa when he shoved me against the wall, the one who took the hit for Hyunie whenever Appa had a drink. You could tell us you’re being hunted by North Korea and we’d nod and ask you what you needed.”_

_Tae laughed, a short puff of air that was almost mirthless. “The North isn’t hunting me. Promise.”_

_“Then what… tell us. Please Hyung, its not like we-”_

_“I’m gay. I’m gay and I’m in love with Jungkookie. And I’m scared that you’ll hate me. Because I’m gay.” He blinked. “And-and in love with Jungkookie.”_

_To his surprise Eunjin laughed, as Hoseok arrived beside Tae, Tannie struggling in his arms. “Oh, that’s it?” she laughed. “We know, Tae. Not about Jungkook, but about you.”_

_“You know.”_

_Minhyun cringed. “Yeah… um, I may or may not have borrowed your laptop once and…like you left it open on a…questionable tab.”_

_Tae whined and covered his face. “Aish!”_

_“Sorry Hyung!” Minhyun groaned. “I didn’t want to embarrass you by bringing it up!”_

_“You knew all this time!” Tae wailed, flailing his arms wildly. “AISH! Did you tell Amma? Or Appa?!”_

_“No! No! I swear!” he promised._

_Hobi laughed. “Yahhh, I wouldn’t worry Minhyunie! Tae-ah clogs our computers with that sorta stuff all the time!”_

_A hand came down against Hobi’s chest. “HYUNG! That’s you! Not me!”_

_Hoseok threw back his head and laughed. “Oh Taehyungie…it’s fine. You’re a growing boy.” He patted his back, and suddenly Tae was cracking a smile, a small weight lifted from his shoulders._

_“But…Eunie? How did…”_

_“Hyung, I like girls. I know a closet case when I see it.”_

_Tae raised his brows so high they disappeared behind his bangs. He turned his eyes to Minhyun, curious._

_“Nope…” his brother popped on the P. “Sorry Hyung, I’m the boring hetero kid.”_

_Tae laughed, falling backwards onto Hobi, who hugged him tight and laughed too._

_/_

_It shocked Tae silly, when under the warm light of the fire and the lantern strings, his parents didn’t bat an eye at his confession._

_His mother smiled, she turned her eyes with such affection from Tae to Hobi. “Oh…is this your man? Hoseok?”_

_Hoseok snorted when Tae’s mouth fell open. “Nonono!” the younger insisted. “No! He’s just my friend, Amma! He’s just here to…support me, I guess?”_

_Taehyung’s father raised a heavy brow. “I’m guessing he’s queer too?”_

_“Appa…” Tae whispered._

_Hobi shook his head. “I don’t mind Tae-ah.” He turned his eyes to Taehyung’s father, much more mellow than he was in his youth. Sober since Tae was fifteen. Yet Tae could still never shake his apprehension around the man. So, as Hobi answered, the younger clung to his sleeve, ready to pull him from the line of fire if need be. “I don’t really belive in labels Mr Kim. I fall in love with people. I’m attracted to people. I guess that does make me queer in a way. I wouldn’t know how to label myself. I’ve never really thought about it too hard.”_

_Mr Kim bowed his head in consent and relief flooded Tae’s veins. He wasn’t mad. They weren’t mad._

_“If Hoseok isn’t your man, do you have one?”_

_“Ammaaaa!” Tae whined, pink colouring his cheeks._

_“A mother needs to know!”_

_“I…” he scratched the back of his head, on hand braced tight on his knee. “I like someone, and I think he likes me too. Like a lot. That’s all I’m telling you.”_

_Tae’s mother clapped her little hands, so excited a giggle bubbled in Tae’s throat. “You must bring him to see us! Is he good looking? Is he intelligent? Does he have a good job!?”_

_“Amma, he’s all those things and more.”_

_Mr Kim sighed. “I can’t say I’m ecstatic about this Taehyung…but I know you can’t change who you are. Make sure to be careful. Make sure to look after yourself. Not everyone will treat you the way you should be treated. I know I didn’t.” The elder Kim let his fingers thread through his hair, scratch at his scalp. Nothing would take away from the memories and the scars were permanent. But Taehyung was a sweet thing with a heart of gold. And it was in his nature to reach his hands out for his father, it was in his nature to take the elders palms and squeeze them tight. It was in his nature to forgive._

_/_

_Tae felt a strange energy settle over him like a heavy blanket. As he entered his aunt’s home the atmosphere was different, a tension that stirred the air thick and closed in around him. It was gloomy, it was claustrophobic._

_But the anxiety was shattered upon his cousins’ squeals as they wrapped their arms around his knees. “My best friends!” Tae chuckled throwing the youngest up in the air and nuzzling his little button nose._

_Hobi’s lips curved into a smile, and the elder cousin came to his thighs hugging them tight. “Uncle Hoseokie! I missed you!” he giggled._

_“Ah! I missed you too Hwangi-ah. How was your-”_

_“Taehyung.” A voice came, low and bored sounding._

_“Uncle.”_

_The man was an uncle only by marriage, a marriage that would soon be over. He glared at the singer, with a distain that made Hobi roll his shoulders and puff his chest. “So you decided to come from on high to mix with us commoners?” he drawled._

_Tae laughed, a short, anxious sound that had Hobi draw nearer to him. “Don’t be silly uncle! I love to see my Hwangi and Joonki!”_

_The younger of the mentioned cupped Tae’s face, forcing him into a nuzzle that melted all the tension from Tae’s muscles._

_“Sukwan, leave my nephew alone.”_

_Nariki was Taehyung’s youngest aunt. A beautiful middle-aged woman who was the double of his mother, with a larger nose and rounder eyes, dressed to the nines in a beautifully fitted suit. She worked as a lawyer by day. Where his mother was the sun, Nariki was the moon. Both sweet in different ways._

_Sukwan scoffed. “He’s with my children, I can say what I wish.”_

_Nariki tutted, knocking him out the way so she could gather Tae in a one-armed hug. “It’s good to see you nephew. Both of you.” She beamed at Hobi over his shoulder.  “Are you well Taehyung? You look pale?”_

_Tae’s lips lifted in a sheepish smile and he cleared his croaky throat before he spoke. “I’m fine Aunty. Um, may we speak in private?”_

_“Of course? Anything bad?”_

_Tae drew a lip between his teeth. “I don’t know yet.”_

_/_

_Tae’s thumb ran the rim of his teacup, as his Aunt sipped hers from across the table. Hobi sat beside him, as strong as ever, hand caressing his upper back._

_Each pass of his hand filled Tae with determination. Like magic._

_Nariki sighed. “Taehyungie, you’re scaring me a little.”_

_“Sorry…”_

_“Are you sick?”_

_“N-no I…”_

_“Aish, you didn’t get some girl pregnant?”_

_Tae smirked as he lifted his eyes. “Not even close.”_

_“Then it can’t be all bad, can it?”_

_“Aunty…”_

_“Yes?”_

_“You don’t have to worry about me getting any girl pregnant.”_

_She lowered her mug. “Okay?”_

_“Because I’m gay, aunty. I’m like…really gay.” He laughed nervously, then cringed at the sound. “Sorry…sorry, I know it’s not funny.”_

_She sighed, the ghost of a smile on her lips as she reached a soft palm toward him. “Taehyung…”_

_“A queer.”_

_Tae’s head whipped around. Sukwan. Shit._

_“Uncle, I…”_

_“Don’t you call me that,” he spat. Hobi tensed beside him, as if he was locking in to fight mode. His soon to be ex-uncle turned to his soon to be ex-wife. “You let a faggot in my home! Near my boys!”_

_“Sukwan.” She warned. “This is my home, payed for by my wage. You do not decide who comes here and you do not decide who gets to see my sons.”_

_“I decide who my boys associate with,” he turned his face of fury to Tae. Who flinched. “How many times have you been with them?!”_

_Tae shook his head. “I don’t…I don’t know what you-”_

_Hobi pulled him up by his wrist and out of his seat._

_Sukwan stepped forward. “How many times were you alone with my boys.”_

_Then it hit Taehyung, hit him hard in his chest, the cold egg-wash of realisation encasing his form. He knew now exactly what Lee Sukwan was insinuating. A bile rose in Tae’s throat, his mouth parted, tears burning in his eyes. He couldn’t speak, didn’t trust his voice. But he didn’t have to._

_“How dare you.” Hobi breathed, anger seeming to vibrate in waves through his aura. He was livid. “How fucking dare you. With the witnesses in this room we could sue you to the ground for slander.”_

_The elder scoffed. “Not before I tell all of South Korea what kind of man their darling Kim Taehyung is.”_

_The dancer laughed, short and mirthless. “You could.” Hobi assented, tapping his bottom lip with mock thought. “But six years ago, you signed a contract of non-disclosure, which states you doing so will land your nasty ass straight into the next prison cell. So, that’s entirely your choice.”_

_Sukwan blinked. Tae did too. Well damn. Checkmate._

_“You little...”_

_He started toward the men, but Hobi simply pushed Tae behind him, to safety. “You touch anyone in this room,” the elder froze. “And I’ll sue you for everything you own.”_

_Tae felt a leap of pride when he looked upon his hyung, so strong in that moment. “Hyung…it’s okay…let’s just go.”_

_“Taehyung. You are welcome back whenever.”  Nariki insisted, glaring at her ex._

_“He is not seeing my sons.”_

_“Oh shut up Sukwan.” She spat. “You’re lucky you’re even allowed to see them.”_

_“Hyung,” Tae tugged his sleeve. “Come on.”_

_Hobi had a strong urge to punch Lee Sukwan, but he knew it wouldn’t solve anything. He left with a smile to Nariki. “Thank you for the tea.”_

_/_

_“Uncle Tae?”_

_A soft whisper stopped the man before he left through the front door. Two little heads poked out all shy from the lounge door. “Hey!” he forced a smile, that could have fooled even Hobi if he hadn’t see the events that unfolded in the kitchen. “My best friends.”_

_Hwangi and Joonki darted out into the hallway, where the twilight flooded the vicinity in it’s pink light. They ran to their older cousin, wrapped their tiny arms around his calves. Tae inhaled a deep, trembling breath, Hwangi turning his round eyes up to his elder._

_“Daddy is angry with you. Are we not allowed to see you anymore?”_

_Tae grimaced, hands ruffling their little crops of raven hair. “Don’t worry…we’ll see each other again, promise.”_

_/_

_The drive to the airport was quiet. But Hobi let him think and Tae was grateful. They spent the journey in near silence, just the crackle of the radio to break it. Then finally it was shattered, by the suddenly shrill ring of Tae’s phone._

_Halmeoni Would Like To Face Time._

_His grandmother._

_“Who is it?” Hobi asked, soft, his eyes lain firmly on the road ahead._

_Tae hesitated. “My Halmeoni…”_

_The elder spared him a glance. “Answer it Tae.” Silence. “Here, I’ll pull over.”_

_“But…”_

_It was too late, Hoseok was turning the wheel, pulling over on a dusty side-road, and cutting the engine. “Hyung…”_

_“I know…that last one was rough. It was. But your grandmother is your world, Tae. She’s your rock.”_

_“Exactly. And I love her so much. I couldn’t stand to think of her looking at me in disgust.”_

_“You don’t know that she will.” The elder told him, calm. His hand came up to grasp Tae’s shoulder. “Yah Taehyungie, I hate to sound morbid, because that isn’t me. But your Halmeoni won’t be around forever. And if you don’t tell her, there will always be this dark cloud to weigh you down, because you’ll never know if she loves all of you. Its scary Tae. I know it is. But do it for yourself. So you know where it all stands.”_

_Tae’s finger hovered over the button. “Aish…Pray for me Hyung.” He tapped accept._

_Slowly his Halmeoni’s face came into view. The image of an elder, female Taehyung…and she was upside down._

_“Aish! These stupid things! Taehyung-ah! How do I do this?”_

_Tae giggled, his eyes brimming with un-shed tears. “Other way around. Turn the screen, Halmeoni!” he called._

_“Ahh, there we are. Yah! Taehyungie! What is this I hear about you leaving without seeing your old Halmeoni!”_

_Tae gulped. “I’m sorry Halmeoni, I thought I should get out of Daegu, I…I had a little trouble at Auntie’s place.”_

_“Oh the business with that idiot Sukwan?” she rolled her eyes. “Don’t you worry about him. He’s all bark no bite.”_

_Taehyung shot his Hyung a raised brow. “Halmeoni… do you know that…”_

_“That you’re as gay as they come? I’ve heard yes, your little brother let it slip on the phone to me. That boy would make a god-awful spy.”_

_Taehyung groaned. Aish, Minhyun, of course. “Halmeoni, I-I don’t-“_

_“Oh Taehyung, is that why you look so teary?”_

_Tae nodded, unable to meet her eyes. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”_

_“What for?”_

_Tae lifted his chin. “I…because I’m…”_

_“Taehyung, I raised you, while your mother was working hard and your father was drinking her money away. You’re my pride and joy. That will never change.”_

_Tae’s heart was racing, he laughed. A broken, watery laugh. “Aish, really? Halmeoni, really?”_

_“I am a little disappointed that there won’t be an easily obtainable little Taehyungie for me to spoil. No easy great grandchild. But I love you. You don’t need to worry about that.”_

_“Thank you Halmeoni.” He laughed, radiant with the joy._

_“Don’t thank me boy, come and visit me before you leave. I hear your friend is here, the one that grins a lot. Bring him too.”_

_Hobi laughed and waved when Tae turned the camera on him. “Hello Ms Kim! I’ll get your Taehyungie too you! Don’t you worry!” he saluted, and it warmed Tae’s heart to no end._

_“Halmeoni, I love you.” Tae breathed at the screen._

_“I love you too Taehyung, now how do you turn this damn thing-“ she was cut off sharp and the screen faded to black._

_Hobi chuckled. “Well I guess she found the butto-“_

_He was quickly silenced, because suddenly he had a lap full of Kim Taehyung, who held onto him tight and shook under the weight of a thousand heavy sobs. “Hyung, hyung… aish, Hyung.” He whimpered into his shoulder._

_“Hey, s’okay.”_

_“Thankyou…thank you, thank you so damn much.”_

_“What for?” the elder asked, astonished._

_“For being here, for being by my side. For defending me, for believing in me. For giving me strength.”_

_“Kim Taehyungie. Your strength is all yours, I only triggered it.” He rubbed his upper back in slow, soothing circles. “It was you that was brave. It was you that did all this. I’m so proud of you.”_

_“Hyung…”_

_“Tae.”_

_“Love you.”_

_Hobi chuckled. “Love you too.”_

_/_

Tae smiled, carded his lover’s hair, pressed a shower of kisses to his face and marvelled on how much he owed Jung Hoseok.

Kookie stirred, turned his face in his hand and kissed the elder’s wrist. “Hmph…mornin’.” He slurred.

“Morning sunshine.” He whispered. “Hey…I was thinking…”

“S’too early f’that.”

“I was _thinking,_ we owe Hobi-hyung a fruit basket or something.”

Kookie cracked an eye, blinking against the morning sun. “Mm, why?”

“Without him, coming with me all those years back for my ‘whoops I’m gay’ spree, I would have never kissed you the night I returned.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You saying I owe Hyung all the times we dicked each other down.”

Tae huffed pressing his cheek to the fluffy pillow. “Did anyone tell you that you’re a poet.”

Kookie furrowed his brow, sighed. “That’s why I don’t write the lyrics, huh?”

“Shh don’t be sad, I’m just teasing.” The elder reached down with a giggle, tangled their fingers and brought them to his lips.

Kookie gazed on at his lover, his eyes teaming with something so overwhelmingly sweet. “I owe hyung my angel?”

“Kookie.”

“If I owe him you, I’ll send him a fruit basket every day.”

“Aish.”

“I love him for it. I love him. And I love you, I love you so damn much.”

Taehyung beamed, allowed himself to be pulled body and soul into Jungkook’s chest, and hoped to every conceivable god that Jung Hoseok would be happy every moment of his long life.


	27. Namkook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Namjoon gives his iconic speech at the UN, Kookie remembers the countless times Kim Namjoon has changed and inspired him.  
> (I'm so sorry this took so long I kept being distracted and ahhh, I hope its alright <3)

**_“When I saw RM, when he was speaking there, he looked so tall and proud. He looked like a giant. He’s the one who makes me proud.”_ **

Kim Namjoon was the true meaning of the word ‘idol’. He was a man to be admired. Kookie had felt like that since the moment he found him, before he even knew his name. Today was just the culmination of all the instances, all those times where he had inspired, saved and battled against all the odds for every soul that surrounded him. He gave them the world and survived on the dregs left behind.

This moment was the one he deserved. One where is voice would be heard by all the leaders of this world. One where he would prove he belonged in that room, and deserved to dance among them.

He began his speech as his brothers filed in behind him, forming an arch, a bracket at his rear. They truly would have his back for this one.

And Kookie watched that set of paper tremble in his palms, so close that he could hear the rustle. Kim Namjoon is equal parts fragile and indestructible. The rock with the rose petal heart.

He was the man they wrote stories about. And the mankae watched him bloom before his eyes.

“I’d like to begin by talking about myself. I was born in Ilsan-gu, a city near Seoul, South Korea. It is a beautiful place, with a lake, hills, and even an annual flower festival. I spent a happy childhood there, and I was just an ordinary boy.

I used to look up at the night sky in wonder and I used to dream the dreams of a boy. I used to imagine that I was a superhero, who could save the world. And in an intro to one of our early albums, there is a line that says, “My heart stopped when I was maybe nine or ten.”

/

_Jeon Jungkook’s heart stopped when he was thirteen. It was one of those moments as a teenager, that would become a building block for who he would later become._

_It was merely months before Jungkook became the Golden Mankae of Bangtan Sonyeondan. Just before his 14 th birthday, late in the evening. He lay flat on his back, chest heaving as he struggled to pull oxygen into his lungs. Even with young blood running through his veins, the agency had pushed them to breaking points. Limbs trembling, throat burning._

_Most of his life Kookie had thought himself unbeatable and throughout this idol journey so far, he had taken all these thrashings with ease. With such ease, he began to (unknowingly) rub some of the elder teens the wrong way. They became jealous of him, whispered behind his back, dumped their bags into empty seats so he was forced to spend his lunch breaks alone._

_It hurt Jungkook deep as a child, but he refused to crack. He just needed to prove them all wrong. Right now, it was frustratingly hard to do so, because he was stretching himself so tight that he was fraying at the edges. He felt weak…so damn tired._

_“Well-well, golden boy finally dropped, huh?” sneered a boy from his right. Jung Minho, a dancer, seventeen years old and very handsome to boot._

_He was also god awful at following instruction, thought himself above all those around him. And he hated so much that everyone would fall for Jungkook._

_The younger pushed himself upright on shaky arms. “I’m not tired.” he swore. A lie._

_“Let your face know that, you dance like you’re shitting yourself.” he rolled his eyes and his crew snickered around him._

_Jungkook blushed, dipped his head. “I’m trying my best.”_

_“Yeah well, you’re best isn’t enough, is it? It never will be. You might be able to make the agents fall for you now, but there are a million of you out there. Little squirrelly squirts with basic ass voices and basic ass dance skills. You’re a flash in the pan and you’ll be forgotten in the pile like the rest…”_

_Jungkook felt a lump in his throat, so naive, so vulnerable to his words. “Why do you hate me so much Minho?”_

_Minho scoffed, but before he could open his mouth, a deep, calm voice came from behind him. With out a word, the lanky trainee with the deep dimples had scooted up behind Jungkook and told him: “He’s scared.”_

_Kookie flinched but didn’t move. Minho snorted. “Why would I be scared of this skinny little kid?”_

_“Because he has everything you have in abundance, not only that, he has something you could never have. He’s easily loved. Whereas you have the personality of a goddamn moth, a moth that keeps flying its empty brain into every shiny lightbulb. Bit stupid, too stubborn to admit it. You’re scared because you’re starting to belive that all these people who you bullied into telling you that you were perfect, might not even belive that. You’re scared because you can feel all that work crumbling beneath you and you have no one to blame but yourself.”_

_“You-You don’t…”_

_“Instead of bursting one of your few brain cells, just leave Minho. And I don’t want to see you bothering him again.”_

_With a leap of affection for this newcomer, Jungkook watched Minho retreat. Watched him grumble and hiss and shuffle to the other end of the room. And the dimpled man held out a hand, which Kookie took. Shy and limp._

_“Namjoon.”_

_“Jungkook…”_

_“Yeah, I know.”_

_Kookie smiled, rubbing his grubby forehead. “Thank you for um…doing that.”_

_“You need to start defending yourself Jungkook. You’re one of the most talented trainees I’ve ever come across.”_

_“Namjoon-issi…”_

_“I mean it. Jaw dropping Jungkook. You should be proud.”_

_The younger blushed a rose over the highs of his cheekbones. “Thank you…that’s nice.”_

_Namjoon punched his shoulder, a little too hard but Kookie was grateful all the same. “And by the way, call me Hyung…” he insisted. “Jungkook people like that have sadness in their lives. Be kind and be humble and more than anything be yourself. Nobody else can be that.” He ruffled Jungkook’s hair, lifted himself to his feet and disappeared through the door at the right side of the room. Jungkook wouldn’t see him again until they moved into dorms. Until they became two sevenths of Bangtan Sonyeondan._

_/_

“Looking back, I think that’s when I began to worry about what other people thought of me and started seeing myself through their eyes. I stopped looking up at the night skies, the stars. I stopped daydreaming. Instead, I just tried to jam myself into the moulds that other people made. Soon, I began to shut out my own voice and started to listen to the voices of others. No one called out my name and neither did I. My heart stopped and my eyes closed shut.”

/

_SM, JYP, Starship… Jungkook had six companies banging at his door. As the offers rolled in, he felt himself overwhelmed with the crushing reality that this was happening, and that choosing any one of these companies could change his life for the foreseeable future. For a fourteen-year-old boy this was the Everest of decisions._

_Hell, for a forty-year-old this was a mountain too._

_Then he was given the most pivotal bit of advice of his younger life._

_Sunwoo was the seventeen-year-old girl who he would meet between practices. They would sneak gummy worms and destress together, a perfect balance. Jungkook listened well, and she would fill all the gaps between, where he lost his train of thought._

_She was a good friend, and one he still talked to today._

_“Six companies though, hmm?” she smiled, pulling her ponytail tighter atop her head. “You must be so relived, no?”_

_“I am… I just…it’s a lot?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I mean they all want me, that’s nice. But…do I choose a company who is well established and has money to spend, just to be lost in the crowd? Or do I go to a smaller company, gain more singular attention, and have to slave day and night to gain good opportunity? This is so hard, and I have days to make a decision.”_

_Sunwoo tilted her head, round eyes narrowing into thoughtful arches. “Honestly? I think…you should check out the standard of talent they are accepting at entry level. If they are gaining the most talented trainees, there will be a reason for it…”_

_“So…scout for talent?”_

_“Scout for talent. And more importantly scout for good people.”_

_“Oh…”_

_The trainee smiled, all soft for the younger. “Jungkook more likely than not, you’ll be put into a group to start off with…in a dorm room with how many other boys. You have to live your life alongside them. Pick good people with good talent.”_

_/_

_For the next three and a half days, Kookie carefully combed the agency for some one who fit Sunwoo’s description. He found many good people and even more talent, but the combination of those two was so rare it was almost non-existent._

_On the Thursday he was trolling the performer archives and found a video file titled ‘Kim Namjoon Audition- Accepted to BigHit Entertainment’._

_Namjoon._

_Brave Namjoon._

_Kind Namjoon._

_Namjoon who had saved his ass, lit a fire under it and made his heart swell with affection._

_And BigHit…was one of his six._

_He double clicked._

_And those two minutes changed his life for good. A booming voice, beautiful lyrics and a sincerity in every word. Kim Namjoon rapped with a flow so natural it almost felt like streams, running through the goose bumps it conjured down Kookie’s spine. It was almost poetry._

_It moved Jungkook._

_It moved him all the way over to BigHit Entertainment._

_It moved him on to the best years of his life. With his eyes wide open._

_/_

“So, like this, I, we, all lost our names. We became like ghosts. But I had one sanctuary and that was music. There was a small voice inside of me that said, “Wake up man, and listen to yourself.” But it took me a long time to hear music calling my real name.

Even after making the decision to join BTS, there were a lot of hurdles. Some people might not believe it, but most people thought we were hopeless. And sometimes, I just wanted to quit. But I think I was very lucky that I didn’t give it all up.”

/

_Jungkook had always been shy, for as long as he could remember he was a blusher, a head ducker, only spoke when spoken to._

_Whenever the leader would ask him: “How are you Jungkook?”, Jungkook would answer him with “Fine.” Or “Nothing to note, Hyung.”_

_He would say this without fail, despite any hardship weighing him down. Because he was lucky right? He had thousands screaming his name, had the six best Hyungs he could have ever asked for. He had love and support. So why should he complain._

_Namjoon’s eyes brushed over the circles under his eyes and the hollows of his cheeks._

_“You know, it isn’t weakness to struggle. It’s strength to ask for help, or comfort, or love. After all it can be the hardest thing of all, to feel as though we deserve it.”_

_Those words rolled over Jungkook’s mind like uneven waves that night. Unearthing something buried beneath the sand._

_/_

_Almost twenty four hours later and Seokjin had called them to the lounge for a family meeting. Namjoon was wrapped to his Hyungs side, red rimmed eyes and a furrowed brow, as Jin’s fingers passed up and down the curve of his back._

_Jungkook had never seen him like that. So tired and broken._

_“We need to stop bottling up…” Seokjin told them, with no room in his voice for argument. “From now on…every evening after are days are done, no matter how tired we are or how badly we’ve argued, we sit down and spill every little darkness inside us.”_

_The six other men blinked, breathed, Namjoon in slow even puffs against Jin’s shoulder. “This week, Jimin has been dropping to the floor and fainting every day without a fail, Tae has been a wreck, Yoongi you’ve been hiding away from us any second you can.” Yoongi tore his eyes away. “Namjoon’s mind is so fried he doesn’t know whether to cry or scream us to the ground. Hobi is zoning out so much, even he is messing up choreography and getting words out of Jungkook is like getting blood out of a stone.”_

_Jin stared at them, stony with determination. “So speak now. Because we are not leaving this room until I feel some of the darkness has passed.”_

_Jimin went first, so suddenly. Like he couldn’t hold it down anymore:_

_“I want to be perfect. And somewhere in my mind I know there’s no such thing but… When every day people tell you, you should change this or do better at that... I just want to stop feeling like I’m not good enough. I want them to love me.”_

_Answers came in return. Statements, answers, comforts. Crying. As they went on and everyone spilled their demons into the room, the mankae felt a lump in his throat and helplessness in his heart. And then it came to Namjoon._

_“It’s so hard, and I’m so tired. I’m so scared of letting you all down, because fuck you worked so hard for this and if I was the one to mess it up…I don’t know if I could forgive myself.”_

_There was a beat, and Kookie covered his face. His resolved just snapped, shoulders shaking as a floodgate burst over his cheeks. The other members were so in shock, it took them a few seconds to gather their thoughts and gather him up, hold him, rock him. Protect him._

_“Jungkookie…our Jungkook what is it…” Jimin murmured, a whisper, so sweet, so calm and steady now._

_“I huh-hate this!”_

_“Hate what? Take breaths.” Hobi whispered._

_“And talk to us…” Jin added as Tae’s sleeve dabbed at his tears._

_“This. You guys, hurting like this. I hate it. I hate it. This is my greatest and only hardship. To see my hyungs cry. To see them hurt. It hurts me too, it hurts me more than anything.” He hiccupped._

_Yoongi moved then, tear streaming his face and pulled Kookie against his shoulder. “Please don’t cry…” he rasped._

_But Kookie just clung to him and sobbed, until Namjoon’s voice came, husky from disuse. “Kookie-ah?”_

_In seconds Jungkook was clambering into his lap, holding him hard and unyielding. So tight he was crushing Namjoon a little, but the elder would never tell him that. “I’m so p-proud of you Hyung, we’re so pr-proud and you’re d-doing so well. You make me feel so safe and ha-happy please don’t be sad.”_

_Namjoon held him close, rubbed his sides and shushed him. “That’s it, get it out.”_

_Kookie had found it hard to keep his emotions hidden from them ever since, and he thought that night was the greatest blessing he had been given._

_/_

“And I’m sure that I and we will keep stumbling and falling. BTS has become artists performing in those huge stadiums and selling millions of albums right now. But I am still an ordinary 24-year-old guy. If there’s anything that I’ve achieved, it was only possible because I had my other BTS members right by my side and because of the love and the support that our ARMY fans all over the world made for us.”

/

_It was so hard to keep himself together. A freak accident and a fuck-load of stitches had rendered Kookie chair bound over a place he was meant to command. The stage. Those beautiful ARMYs they screamed for him, chanted his name. But he knew it couldn’t be the same for them now. And the guilt crushed him, in to tiny shiny little fragments like crystalline glass._

_Those same fragments twinkled as tears in his eyes. Bent at the waist, he hugged his knees. Three palms coming down over his slumped spine to hopefully rub the worry away. And he knew each one._

_Jin._

_Jimin._

_Namjoon._

_His hyungs had carried him on their backs and dragged him with his arm over their shoulders. This whole day through they had done nothing but treat him with the upmost affection. But Jungkook…perfectionist and professional he was, couldn’t shake the crinkled pain etched on his face._

_After he spoke it was the leader’s turn. He lifted his head out of respect for his Hyung, who looked him dead in the eyes in front of thousands more and told him: “It is never your fault Jungkook.”_

_And like a shot of light to his veins, Jungkook believed him._

_/_

“And maybe I made a mistake yesterday but yesterday’s me is still me. Today, I am who I am with all of my faults and my mistakes. Tomorrow I might be a tiny bit wiser and that would be me too. These faults and mistakes are what I am, making up the brightest stars in the constellation of my life. I have come to love myself for who I am, for who I was and for who I hope to become.

I’d like to say one last thing. After releasing our Love Yourself albums and launching the Love Myself campaign, we started to hear remarkable stories from our fans all over the world, how our message helped them overcome their hardships in life and start loving themselves. These stories constantly remind us of our responsibility.”

_/_

_Five years prior to this, Jungkook wouldn’t have known how to react, as a fan fell to her knees and sobbed at his feet. She was babbling something, nonsense really…and Jungkook took her trembling hands. Tried to lift her to her feet._

_But she had become jelly by his shoes._

_Kookie glanced to Namjoon for help. ‘You can do it.’ he mouthed and gestured toward the girl. Jungkook swallowed, took a deep breath and crouched at her level._

_With a gentle palm he lifted her wobbling chin._

_“Breathe slowly…” he soothed. “Don’t worry I’m here.”_

_“I-I’m s-sorry I just love you s-so…”_

_“That’s okay. I love you too. You want to tell me something?”_

_She took a deep, quivering breath and nodded. “When…when I’m being bullied your voices and your faces make me smile and-and your music gives me strength…”_

_Jungkook smiled, his eyes like butter as he tucked her auburn hair behind her ear. “You give us strength too. And hey…” He looked directly at Namjoon, as he regaled the elder’s own words to this adoring fan.  “People like that have sadness in their lives. Be kind and be humble and more than anything be yourself. Nobody else can be that. Right, Hyung?”_

_Namjoon grinned, all dimply and shy. “That’s exactly right.”_

_/_

“So, let’s all take one more step. We have learned to love ourselves, so now I urge you to “speak yourself”.

I’d like to ask all of you, what is your name? What excites you and makes your heart beat? Tell me your story. I want to hear your voice and I want to hear your conviction. No matter who you are, where you’re from, your skin colour, your gender identity, just speak yourself. Find your name, find your voice by speaking yourself.

I’m Kim Nam Jun and also RM of BTS. I’m an idol and I’m an artist from a small town in Korea. Like most people, I’ve made many and plenty mistakes in my life. I have many faults and I have many more fears, but I’m going to embrace myself as hard as I can and I’m starting to love myself, gradually, just little by little.

What is your name? Speak Yourself. Thank you very much.”

/

After, they walked a while. With UN’s Secretary General in their midst. As leaves rustled on an Autumn breeze, she turned to Jungkook. “What did you think of your friend’s speech?”

He smiled. “I am lucky. He inspires me. Every day, he inspires me.”


	28. Yoonmin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yoonmin are flawed but make each other better humans. Stay tuned for an Update Chapter before the final official one angels! By the by Yoongi's song is Spring Waltz- Chopin <3

From the very moment the sun had risen on their romance, Yoongi had been scared. Not of Jimin’s feelings and not even of his own. He was just so scared of hurting him. That was his greatest fear. Jimin didn’t understand that at first, Yoongi treated him so beautifully. Held him like the most precious and priceless angel, kissed him with all the devotion that a priest had for his god. Yoongi was reverent for him.

He loved him. Jimin almost thought Yoongi loved him too much.

But there were always little uncertainties on their path to today, ones that broke them both, so they could mould themselves together, heal and become even stronger than before. Min Yoongi used to be scared.

Not anymore.

Not anymore.

And Europe had taught Jimin that.

There was no more fear.

/

_Some had told them their union was fate. Before they had even made it official, people would talk about them as if they were destined._

_Yoongi had always belonged to Jimin and Jimin to Yoongi. That’s just the way it was._

_The night they sealed it in a kiss was the penultimate night in Hawaii, with Jimin shining bright beneath a galaxy of starlight. Yoongi by his side, cheek pressed into his own palm. He watched Jimin rock on his feet, back and forth against the railings, watched him with utter adoration dusting his sleepy expression._

_And when Jimin turned, when he caught his eyes, the elder stiffened. Because shit, he’d been caught._

_The dancer didn’t say a word about it, left the rails without an utterance and knelt on a pillow by Yoongi’s feet. “It’s cold tonight…” he whispered, his chin perched on Yoongi’s lap._

_“Is it?” he murmured. Dazed. Lost to the sparkle of Jimin’s beautiful eyes._

_Jimin smiled. “Have you been dreaming all this time Hyung?” he giggled. Yoongi did nothing but blink._

_“I don’t know. Are you a dream?”_

_The whisper of a scentence had Jimin’s smile fading and his lips parting in awe. Somewhere in the distance there was the sound of rolling waves, birds twittering, and it cut through the silence of the still night. All was still between them too._

_Jimin felt like he was looking at Yoongi for the first time. Without a mask. This was him. It was all of him._

_He was so beautiful._

_“Hyung…”_

_“Jimin-ah…”_

_And Jimin was cupping his cheek, thumb brushing the soft curve of his cheekbone with the wonder of a child. Yoongi closed his eyes, lashes brushing the tip of his thumb._

_Jimin couldn’t hold back any longer._

_He leaned up and kissed him._

_At first there was nothing from Yoongi but the tiny noise from the back of his throat, and Jimin was terrified in that short moment that he’d made a mistake. But when he chanced a second peck, it seemed to coax the elder and Yoongi was threading his fingers through Jimin’s hair, his eyes rolled back._

_Like this was heaven._

_They kissed slowly for a good ten seconds, Jimin’s lips were so soft and Yoongi tasted like mint chocolate chips. It was addictive._

_Then Jimin spoke against his lips, such fervour resonating in his tone. “Yoongi…”_

_It broke the spell. Yoongi ripped his lips back with an audible smack and held Jimins face for a second, paler than the moon itself. And Jimin frowned, bewildered._

_“No…” the elder murmured. He closed his eyes and pushed his chair back with a scrape. “No, no…I can’t. I can’t, I can’t do this. Not to you.”_

_He stood all too quickly, leaving Jimin on his knees, the younger’s heart hammering against his chest. Because nonono where was he going? Come back…_

_“Hyung…” he breathed, clambering to his feet and darting after the elder. He caught him near the sliding door by his fingers. “No, please don’t go! I’m sorry! Don’t be mad!” he whimpered, his bottom lip trembling, panic setting in._

_Yoongi sighed, a shaky, broken sigh and took Jimin’s face between his hands. “Hey…I’m not mad. I’m not, it’s just…I-I just…”_

_Jimin didn’t utter a word, just leant into Yoongi’s palms and waited._

_“Jimin…I’m broken.”_

_“Huh? What do you mean, broken?”_

_“I can’t…” he gritted his teeth, frustrated at himself for being so bad at this too. “I don’t know how to be in love, I don’t know how to accept that. And all that means is the other person ends up feeling wounded and worthless, and I just fucking hurt people Jimin. People who love me get hurt, and I don’t know if that’s what this is to you b-but…I couldn’t just…fuck you right, you mean more to me than a quick fuck. If I were to allow myself to have you, I’d want you as mine, my beautiful boy. But I can’t. I can’t do that Jimin. I can’t do that and hurt you. And destroy you. D-don’t make me do it. I would never forgive myself, you’re too perfect, too precious to be broken.”_

_A silence followed, one where Jimin gazed at Yoongi like his heart was swelling and breaking all at once. It was… and his hand slid over the backs of the rapper’s, holding them there. “Yoongi.” He whispered. “I trust you.”_

_“Jimin-ah…”_

_“I’m a grown boy…” he smiled, eyes like crescents. “Even you don’t get to decide who I love, or who I make love with. You only decide if you will reciprocate. I trust you, I trust you and I’m falling for you by the second. I can’t stop that. So, if you’ll have me… we can start something, I’ll gladly be yours. If you won’t, you can turn around and leave through that door. We can go back to pretending.”_

_Yoongi seemed to sway with the breeze, as if it might blow him over. He seemed so fragile and vulnerable stood there. But, he didn’t move._

_So Jimin took his hands and positioned them down on the small of his back. He reached up, thumbs caressing Yoongi’s temples. “Can I kiss you?” he breathed._

_Yoongi nodded. And they came together once more, like the sun meeting the moon._

_/_

Jimin hated late night flights, with the view skewed by the darkness there was nothing to distract him or his mind. He got bored, testy and anxious. Even more so when he was nervous. It was their first European tour, and… what if these fans were different? What if they didn’t like him? What if-

Jimin didn’t realise he’d been tapping on his arm rest until Yoongi’s hand slid over his, steadying him. Anchoring him.

He didn’t say a word… just tugged him, gentle and devoted over the arm and into his lap, scooping his body up and throwing a thin blanket over their weary muscles.

Then the man pressed a kiss to his temple. So sure, so unashamed in front of their members as he told him: “I’ve got you, sleep…”

It was a far cry from the Yoongi of all those years ago, and Jimin’s mind rolled over one of the many memories when it was him who had been scared too.

/

_He didn’t know what happened. All he knew was the three Yoongi’s were kaleidoscoping above him, each one with the saddest expression and a brow that looked as though it was about to collapse. Even in his dizziness, that pained Jimin._

_Soft fingers were combing his hair, he tried to breathe with their rhythm. In…out…in…out…_

_“Jimin? Angel, can you see me?”_

_“Yoongi…” Jimin whispered._

_“Yeah it’s me.”_

_“Hyung, this is too much now…we need to-he needs to-“ Namjoon’s stuttering voice came somewhere from the left. And from by his toes he heard a whimper._

_“Oh Taehyungie…” Hobi? “Come here, don’t cry, he’s okay.”_

_“Kookie…” Jin. “Hey…it’s alright. Go get the medic.”_

_With a painful twist of guilt in his heart, Jimin tried to sit up. “No…nonono, no doctors. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” He babbled._

_Yoongi shushed him and lowered him back to the floor. “Minnie, please… for our piece of mind. Please let them look at you.”_

_Jimin blinked, the tears pooling his eyes and painting the world all blinding light with nothing solid in sight. “I can’t…” he whispered._

_“Why?”_

_“Because you’ll be sad… you’ll be ashamed of me.”_

_Yoongi took a deep breath, he let his forehead fall against his lover’s. “Jimin, I could never. Okay? Never…”_

_A beat. “Okay…”_

_/_

_‘He’s malnourished.’ The doctor told them. ‘With a drop in blood pressure, he will need rest and proper food. He’ll be hungry no doubt.’_

_Malnourished. Yoongi looked blearily out across the city from their window, it sparkled like a carpet of stars before him. But at that moment, he can’t find any beauty in it._

_Jimin wasn’t hungry. He was empty. Hollowed out by pressure, by the own dark circles his mind would send him in._

_He wasn’t hungry. He was sad._

_“Hey…” Jimin rasped. Yoongi turned to where he was in the door way. Damp hair and long pyjamas. He would barely look Yoongi in the eye. “If you don’t wanna sleep next to me tonight I…”_

_Yoongi sucked in a breath, crossed the room and pulled him into a firm kiss. It was so passionate and so sudden, that when Yoongi pulled back, Jimin was breathless, his forehead falling against his shoulder with a dull thunk._

_“Shit…”_

_“You can think what you wish Jimin. I can try all day, all week…I could try forever to change your mind, but I can’t. That’s up to you angel. I wish one day you will love yourself. I really do. Because you could be three hundred pounds or three, and I couldn’t stop loving you even if I tried.” His thumb brushed his temple. “You are beautiful to me. Heart, body and fucking soul. To me you are the most beautiful human on this planet. And you’re not allowed to tell me any different, because that’s me, that’s how I feel and not even you can tell me how I should feel.”_

_There was long pause between the end of Yoongi’s sentence and the start of Jimin’s. In that stillness and quiet, Jimin’s lashes fluttered against Yoongi’s neck and he listened to the steady thrum of his heart beat. Finally, he lifted his head._

_“I wanna see a therapist. Hyung, can I see a therapist?”_

_“Of course.” His face stretched out in to a smile that was doused in relief. “Fuck, of course Jimin. Of course.”_

_/_

Paris was the city of love, and Jimin couldn’t have been more in love with Yoongi than he was right now. They were allowed one day off between rehearsals and tour dates. One day to see the sights. And Yoongi absoloutley insisted they were going to The Louvre.

Tae was of course, all for it, as was Namjoon. Hobi stayed near silent. But Kookie and Jin kicked up a little fuss. After a glare from Yoongi, he pulled them out into the hallway, when they returned they were suddenly very keen on the idea.

Jimin didn’t mind where they went. As long as they went together.

/

Yoongi was acting strange from the moment they stepped through the door, especially seeing as he was the one that had insisted they be here. His eyes barely passed over the Mona Lisa when they came to it. One of the most prized and revered art pieces in the world, and Yoongi didn’t care for it.

The younger caught his lover’s hand as he passed the Venus de Milo without a blink. “Yoongi…” he murmured. “What is it?”

He blinked, paling, his face betraying all his secrets. “Dunno what you mean?”

“You’ve been so strange all day? Do you wanna go back or…”

“NO!”

It was so loud that it made both Jimin and the elderly couple behind him flinch. “Sorry…” he mumbled, he held up a hand to the couple. “I’m sorry.”

The old woman raised her bushy brow, but merely toddled off, with her husband’s hand clutched faithfully in her own. Jimin briefly wished that could be he and Yoongi someday.

“Hyung, what’s going on?”

Yoongi’s posture dropped, like he was deflating. “I’m nervous.”

Jimin smiled all sheepish, ever soft for the elder. “What for?”

“Just…” he sighed. “Look behind you.”

“Is this a-”

But Yoongi had turned him around, hands on his shoulders and pointed him towards a beautiful, ornately carved door way.

On either side stood their members, all lit up with the same secrets that waltzed in Yoongi’s eyes.

Above the door was a sign, pristine, brand spanking new. In beautiful cursive it read: _Park Jimin- Private Wing_. The younger’s eyes widened, voice cracked and uneven as he spoke. “Yoongi…what have you done?”

“Ask no questions, just see for yourself.”

As he carefully ushered his lover forward, Hobi waggled his brows and opened the door. A set of gasps followed his own

No…this wasn’t… Holy fucking shit.

The room was so bright that Jimin had to blink the image into focus. And when he did…he wanted to cry. At the opposite end of the square room was a canvas of stars and water, in rich sapphires and brilliant whites that stretched from ceiling to floor. A night sky and a rolling ocean, much like the ones in Hawaii. And in the centre stood Jimin, perched on the balls of his feet, arm stretched up to the heavens.

His hand was curved around a star like he had the power to move them. He did…he did.

It was so beautiful it brought tears to his eyes.

“Yoongi…” he trembled, “What…what is all this?”

The others wandered around the room in awe, eyes all starry for the paintings, the drawings, the busts. There was even a portrait of Jimin made intricately out of coloured string lights. Yoongi’s fingers and his were interlocked, as the elder weaved with Jimin at a leisurely pace through the pieces.

“Some of them were made by ARMYs, some by independent artists I love. When I contacted the independents, I asked them to research you and from that, depict you in a way that captured your heart…or your mind… your spirit I guess…”

Jimin came to a stop by a sculpture, the curves and lines of its body mimicking his own. Beautiful planes of white marble with his likeness etched smoothly into the surface. And out of his back sprouted a set of huge, beautiful, oil slick wings.

Jimin stared back at his reflection in stone, up on his tiptoes to get a closer look. And Yoongi’s hands wrapped loose around his waist, keeping him steady.

“You like them?”

“They’re beautiful…” Jimin breathed.

Yoongi pressed a kiss to his cheeks. “I’m not the only one that thinks you are.”

Jimin turned in his arms, his own looped up around his neck. “You make my heart want to burst!” He gasped, eyes brimmed with unshed tears. “How did you even do all this?!”

“A lot of preparation and a lot of begging.” He shrugged.

“It’s not even my birthday yet.” He giggled.

“I know. You think this is all you’re getting?”

“Min Yoongi!”

He hushed him with ruby red lips. “Trust me.”

And he did. With all his heart, trust is something that Min Yoongi earnt long, long ago.

/

_About five months into weekly therapy, and Jimin was starting to own his body. He couldn’t say he loved it, or there weren’t things that would pull heavy on his heart. But when he was with Yoongi at least, he felt sexy._

_And he wanted Yoongi, again and again. Yoongi couldn’t find it in him to refuse Jimin, no matter how tired they were. Because he was so fucking gorgeous like this. Giggling, mischievous…a little naughty. Jimins requests got raunchier by the day, until he lay beneath him, spread out like a feast for his eyes, his hands, his tongue, and he begged Yoongi to fuck him until he cried._

_Yoongi didn’t really understand what that meant back then. He wanted it to hurt? Why would he want to cry?_

_But Jimin smiled up at him, so overflowing with love. Yoongi could never say no to those eyes._

_And he fucked him, fucked him until he was quaking, the mistake they made was putting Jimin on his front, blinding Yoongi from his face._

_And as he pounded up into him, grunting, brow furrowed, Jimin began to panic. Without Yoongi’s eyes to anchor him, with out those eyes gazing down and bathing him in wonder, his mind began to race. What if I’m jiggling, what if theres back fat…what if… **what if.**_

_“Fuck…” he whimpered, tears rapidly pooling in his eyes. It was too much._

_“Yeah.” Yoongi murmured, head rolling back._

_“Red.”_

_The elder stopped._

_There was a beat, and the air was too cold on their hot skin, stinging like a thousand tiny bees. Yoongi pulled out as carefully and swiftly as he could and with shaking hands, he pulled Jimin up and into the crook of his neck._

_Jimin rested there, gulping in air, shaken by the shock of his sudden melt down._

_Slowly, the warmth of Yoongi’s body lulled him and he came back to his senses. He realised Yoongi was trembling. As the ringing in his ears subsided, he could hear the hammer of Yoongi’s heart through his chest._

_He lifted his head. “Yoongi…”_

_The elder dropped his arms from around the younger but refused to look at him. His face stony, furious. And for a mad moment, Jimin thought it was him he was angry at._

_Then the elder spoke. “Did…did I fucking hurt you.” He bit out._

_“What? Yoongi you didn’t…”_

_“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking…I’m such a fucking idiot. I must have been too busy thinking about my goddamn dick to…”_

_Jimin watched his expression tighten, so strained he thought Yoongi might break. His eyes brushed over him, his hands upturned, his nails dug so sharply into the heels of his palms, Jimin saw the skin turn from white to pink._

_“Baby, stop. It wasn’t you…please stop that, you’re gonna hurt yourself.”_

_“I hurt you.” He repeated._

_“No…”_

_“Y-You safe-worded. You…” his nails dug deeper, this time breaking skin, crimson bloomed on the surface. Jimin hissed, snatched Yoongi’s hands._

_“No.” he repeated. So firmly, so deep, Yoongi finally blinked up at him. Like a child being coaxed from a nightmare. “Listen to me, you need to stop doing that. I safe worded because I felt…” he took a deep breath. “I felt…anxious not looking into your eyes. I didn’t know that would happen, neither did you. I stopped because of me.”_

_Yoongi still didn’t look too convinced. “But it-it’s my job to…”_

_“To what, Yoongi? Read my mind? Please…don’t do this to yourself anymore, it hurts me.” His thumbs brushed the sensitive area around the drying indents. “It hurts you…”_

_Yoongi closed his eyes, felt Jimin’s tender thumb brush his brow. “I’m sorry.”_

_“Don’t be, just…” Jimin pressed his forehead into the dip of Yoongi’s collar bone. “I don’t wanna sound pushy babe and if you don’t wanna do it, I’m happy to be your rock as always. But…Yoongi theres some things even I can’t fix for you, even if I desperately want to. What I’m saying is, maybe you can come to therapy too. Maybe you won’t like it, but it somebody to talk to…somebody who is an outsider who can see things logically, you know? Maybe-maybe it could help.”_

_Yoongi exhaled a long calming breath and pressed a kiss to his lover’s forehead. “I’ll think on it._

_“Thank you…”_

_/_

_Four days later, Yoongi was cradled into the crook of Jimin’s neck, as the younger rubbed soothing circles into the skin of his heaving upper back. “Okay.”_

_Jimin opened his eyes. “Huh?”_

_“I’ll see the therapist.”_

_Jimin smiled, both pride and relief swelling in his heart._

_/_

Amsterdam was a wash…literally. Yoongi was heart-broken.  After hours of grilling, he finally broke and admitted that he planned fireworks that night. A beautiful show that would spell Jimin’s name across the night sky.

His dreams had been crushed by a sudden twenty-four-hour downpour. It had Yoongi miserable all damn day and through the rehearsals, but when they got back to their room, Jimin reduced misery to melancholy, with one of the best blowjobs Yoongi had received in his life, preceded by a (holy hot as fuck) striptease and culminating in the elder on his stomach, as Jimin rimmed him to within an inch of his existence.

Yoongi couldn’t have felt more bless to be in love with Park Jimin but… “It was supposed to be about you in Europe…” he pouted. “Celebrating you.”

Jimin sighed, stretching out over Yoongi’s back and painting kisses down the back of his neck. “You were sad…”

“Yeah but…”

“No buts, Min Yoongi.” The younger reprimanded. Too cute to really hold any authority right now. “Nothing is ever about just you or just me. We’re a team, no? We look after each other.”

Yoongi exhaled, defeated and turned his head to press his cheek on the pillow. Jimin smiled, he ran his fingers lovingly through the auburn locks, sweaty now from sex. “I hate that you’re always right about this shit…” he muttered.

Jimin hummed, satisfied and together they watched the raindrops chase each other down the window pane, the firey lights from the bar opposite flooding their space.

For a while they just listened to the pitter patter, the occasional hum of a car as it drove by, then Jimin spoke up. “Actually…” Yoongi turned his eyes up to him, curious. “There is _something_ you could do for me today.”

Yoongi smirked. “Oh yeah?”

Jimin swatted his arm. “Later.” He bit his lip, Yoongi furrowed his brow.

“Jimin…aish, just say it.”

“I-uh…there’s a carrier in the bathroom. Can you get it?”

Yoongi leaned up and pecked his plush lips. “I can. Because it’s you’re birthday week…”

Jimin leaned to the side and let Yoongi roll off the bed. He couldn’t help but admire the elder’s perky ass as he walked, as he pulled the cord and switched on the bathroom light.

Jimin smiled, lay out all bashful on his front as he heard the bag’s zipper be pulled in the other room. There was a beat of silence.

Then Yoongi came in, silhouetted by the bathrooms glare until he switched it off and Jimin blinked him into focus. He clutched the carrier in one hand and held the instrument in the other, baffled. “Jimin is this…”

Jimin shrugged, nuzzled like the sweetest angel into the pillow. “I’ve always wanted one.”

Yoongi’s brow wrinkled. “Minnie…I don’t know the first thing about giving tattoos.”

Jimin shrugged. “The guy just told me you clean it with that stuff, turn it on and let it almost hover over the surface.”

“Jimin…”

“Please…I really want one. I want you to give me one.” His lip jutted out and the elder sighed. Why did he have to go and use the puppy eyes.

“Fine…where?”

Jimin beamed, his tongue poking out from between his teeth and wiggled his beautiful ass. Yoongi snorted. “You’re insane.”

“Insane in the membrane?”

“Insane in the brain…fine. Whatever I want?”

“Whatever you want.”

“That’s a lot of power, Jimin.”

He smiles, doe eyes and warm skin. “I trust you.”

/

Three minutes later and the needle was buzzing, as Yoongi etched something meticulously into his left ass cheek. Jimin, it turned out, had an alarmingly high pain threshold after years of dance injuries and stayed so still Yoongi was half convinced he dozed off.

Then the elder chuckled.

“Wha?” Jimin murmured, half asleep.

“Nothing it’s just…Jin would be proud. If I kiss the tattoo, I’ll be able to make a pun.”

“Kissing Jimin’s ass?”

“No, you’ll see.”

He shut off the machine and set it on the bedside cabinet. He snapped a photo and then wrapped it with cling film.

“Done?”

“Yup.”

Jimin hummed, wiggling his toes. “That was quick. You didn’t draw a permanent dick on me, did you?”   

“Huh, no…but I wish I had.”

“Show meeee.” he whined.

Yoongi huffed a laugh as he settled over Jimin, half his body covering his lover’s right side. He held the screen, hovering in front of his eyes and revealed the new ink to his lover.

“Oh…”

It was small, tiny…a tiny outline of a butterfly, reddened around the edges. “It-it isn’t perfect…”

“No, no it’s so pretty, but why a butterfly?”

Their eyes met and Yoongi blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess…it just reminds me of you. Sweet, beautiful, graceful. But also, its to symbolise your growth…you always thought yourself the ugly caterpillar, but I think, even just a little, you’re starting to belive that you’re the butterfly. You’ve evolved, you know? You’ve bloomed.”

Jimin blinked. “I’m so in love with you, Min Yoongi.” He gathered his face in a kiss. “I love it…thank you.”

The elder smiled against his lips. “Do you get the pun yet?”

“Huh?”

“Butterfly kisses.”

Jimin groaned. “I take it back, I hate you…” Yoongi chuckled and caught his lips, kissing him all languid and loose. “Mm I’ll tell you what though…you made my ass look fantastic in that photo.”

“Your ass always looks good.”

A pink tongue darted out and ran the fullness of Jimin’s bottom lip. The younger moaned. “Yeah? Does it feel nice too? Huh, Hyung…” he rasped, lidded eyes and rosy cheeks.

“Yeah…fuck, yes.”

Jimin smirked, and pressed his ass back against the long, half hard length of Yoongi’s dick. “Prove it.”

That night Yoongi fucked Jimin until he cried, and though he’d never admit it, he cried too.

/

_Jimin was a needy person. He would admit that freely to anyone whom asked him. Most of the time he couldn’t help it, and the guilt would gnaw at him slowly. He hated that he took so much of other people’s time and energy. Hated that he needed constant encouragement and affection to feel he was doing alright._

_Back before he and Yoongi were an item, the members spread their roles toward Jimin between them, making it easier than breathing. But since then, all Jimin wanted was to be with Yoongi. It meant that all the responsibility had shifted and now, ontop of his gruelling schedule and his heavy workload, Yoongi was responsible for Jimin._

_As Jimin lay on his back that windy night in October, he let that sink in and weigh him down, and he’d never felt more like a burden in his life._

_That night, the only reason he fell into an uneasy slumber, was the warmth of Yoongi’s body wrapped protectively around his own._

_/_

**_Jimin felt his skin crawl, he could practically feel their words on his skin, though he couldn’t hear them clearly. His members were crowded in the corner, murmuring heatedly under their breaths. Jimin watched them through the mirror, his eyes dropping as Namjoon glared back at him._ **

**_BANG_ **

**_His head snapped around, startled._ **

**_No one was there, but the door chattered as though it had been slammed shut._ **

**_Goosebumps erupted over his arms. “H-Hello?”_ **

**_His brow furrowed, he turned back to the glass._ **

**_They were there once more. It stirred a terror in Jimin’s stomach, when Yoongi looked back at him with such vicious distain. Suddenly he broke from the group, thundering toward the mirror._ **

**_“What the fuck are you looking at huh?”_ **

**_Jimin flinched, frozen in his spot._ **

**_The elder was livid. “Just leave me alone!” Yoongi drove his fist into the mirror. Jimin screamed._ **

_/_

_“Jimin! Jimin, hey…hey shhh.”_

_Jimin woke with a gasping breath, trembling from head to toe. Yoongi hushed him, pulling him weakly, exhaustedly against his chest._

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Yoongi I’m so sorry. Don’t hate me!”_

_“Hate you?” Yoongi was astonished, he cupped Jimin’s sharp jaw line and lifted his face to align with his own. “Jimin why would anyone ever even…hey, shh it’s okay now. I’ve got you.”_

_“I don’t wanna be like this…” he sobbed into his hands. “I d-don’t wanna bring you guys down anymore I- I…”_

_“Park Jimin.” the tone was deep, it was stern, commanding Jimin’s attention. The younger quietened, his bottom lip wobbling in an effort to stop the tears. Those same tears were the ones that Yoongi kissed away, ever so devoted and a lot in love. “I love you.”_

_“Yoongi…”_

_“I love you.” He repeated. “I love you. Love isn’t perfect, Jimin. Sometimes we hurt, sometimes, we even hurt each other. But love is selfless. Honestly, if somebody asked me today to pick between you or music, I’d pick you. No questions asked.”_

_“But…m-music is your dream.” He babbled, his finger looping anxiously in the button hole of his lover’s sleep shirt._

_“You’re my dream.” He leaned up, pressing a tender kiss to Jimin’s forehead. “I don’t think you’ve ever really realised that.”_

_“I don’t…Yoongi I don’t even…wow…”_

_“No words now.” he whispered, pulling Jimin snug into his chest. “Sleep…sleep, remember I love you. And if you can’t, if you’re in the throes of another nightmare, I’ll tell you that until all the daemons have been chased away from your beautiful mind.”_

_/_

 Berlin was an Instagram wet dream. Beautiful architecture, daebak street art and bustling, hipster back streets, lined with adorable cafés.

A day was set aside for the members to explore, to flood social media with images and heighten the hype around their tour. And the former part of their day was spent doing just that. Jimin had split off with Tae and Jungkook, who wanted to see all the hidden nooks, Yoongi went with Joon to see the wall and Jin paired with Hobi to sample all the best cuisine.

Somehow and conveniently, all sans Yoongi ended up at the doors to Berlin Cathedral at the exact same time.

Jimin eyed them, suspiciously, as Jin beamed at him, a little too wide and Tae looked literally anywhere but Jimin’s face. “What’s happening…” he scowled. “Guys, where’s Yoongi?”

“Oh! Yoongi?!” Jin pressed his lips together, eyes wide.

“Yes. Yoongi. Min Yoongi? The guy we’ve all lived with for seven plus years? Grumpy, sleepy, absolutely gorgeous?”

“Oh, that Yoongi!” he beamed. “He’s already here.” Jin turned his face, nodded to his lover.

Namjoon smirked, hands on the door.

“Wait!” Jimin frowned. “It…it’s closed isn’t it?”

Tae chuckled and patted his ass. “Oh Jiminie, we’re BTS. Little perks, you know?” he chuckled, pulling Jimin by his wrist through the oaken doors.

Jimin gasped. “Wahhhh!”

It was one of the single most breath-taking rooms he’d ever entered. The twilight shone through the stained glass, so bright the room glowed in a million hues of heavenly light. The domes, concaves and pillars of the room were dusted with beautiful, decadent carvings in gold and figures crafted from stone.

It was staggering.

But what blew Jimin’s mind most of all, was Yoongi. Jimin’s eyes didn’t find him until the music started. A stunning, heartbreakingly sweet melody, that carried Jimin toward him like a moth to a flame. A bright and brilliant flame.

Yoongi…his Yoongi. Aish that _music_.

“Hey…” Kookie nudged him. “He wrote it for you…”

He…oh my god.

As if he could hear them Yoongi lifted his gaze, smiling warm and reverent at Jimin, before turning those pretty eyes back to the keys of the piano.

It was a delicate tune echoed through perfect acoustics, filling the room like a cocoon, it carried Jimin on a breeze. Before Jimin knew it, he was shucking off his coat, unwinding his burgundy scarf and kicking off his boots.

He was striding across the chapel floor, up the platform and falling into the perfect fourth position. The perfect ballerina. Music came simmering to a stop. Their eyes met, Yoongi smiled and his fingers took off once more.

Jimin was taken with him, fluttering across the stage on the tips of his toes, arms extended toward the sky, the ceiling painted wall to wall with depictions of biblical events. It seemed only right for Yoongi, that his angel would dance beneath them, around them, for them.

Pirouette, pirouette, leap.

In the audience their brothers settled into their seats, gazed on at those lovers as they made beauty together.  Jungkook tilted his head. “You ever feel like…really emotional about them?”

They nodded together. Then there was quiet, just music and footfalls.

Hobi sighed. “That’s love isn’t it…like, real true love?”

They watched Jimin leap and Yoongi beam, his fingers moving of their own accord. “You’ll find it.” Jin told him quietly. “A beautiful heart attracts love.”

Hobi smiled, rested his cheek against the point of the elder’s shoulder, and Namjoon hummed. “You okay there Tae?”

Tae’s little lip was pushed out, his eyes shiny with tears. “I don’t know what you mean.” he mumbled, Kookie pressing a kiss to his flush cheek.

They converged into one, pushing themselves closer together and they just watched. They watched their brothers shine.

/

London was a city steeped in History, and unbeknownst to Jimin, a chapter of his own was about to begin.

This time nobody was subtle about it, this time the atmosphere was thick with anticipation. This time, Jin came into the room and demanded him to change into something beautiful. The elder dressed him up, Tae filling his brows and smudging ‘barely there’ eyeliner around his eyes.

Kookie helped him style his hair into a classy side part, while Hobi fetched a choker and Namjoon found his shoes.

Not one of them would tell him where Yoongi was, or what the hell was going on.

They rode the taxi in silence. The six of them looking out on the city lights that rippled on the River Thames. Jimin eyed them, shifting in his billowy button down and his black velvet skinny jeans. Why was this so different?

They pulled up outside St Paul’s Cathedral, Namjoon thanked the driver and handed him their fare plus tip.

Another cathedral? Another… song?

But when he entered the doors he heard no music, he saw no piano. The room was much like the one in Berlin, gold leaf, intricate carvings and gorgeous art pieces. Yoongi stood alone in the centre of the checkerboard tile, the room aglow with the flickering light from the hundreds of flames lit around them. Tea lights, gas lamps, candelabras.  They all worked together to make Yoongi glow like the light of heaven itself.

And surrounding him was…wow. A forest of flowers. Peonies, pink carnations, magnolia, pouring in from the windows and swathing the floors, the ornaments and the pews.

Jimin was stuck still, in utter awe of it all. Yoongi never took his eyes off him, twirling a single carnation in his palm.

Hobi’s hand squeezed at Jimin’s shoulder. “Hey…it’s okay. Go to him, Jimin.”

Jimin went with a little push, almost floating toward his lover.

Yoongi looked so beautiful, black fitted pants, he too in a loose white button down and a beaded choker. His eyes were lightly smoked out, mahogany hair swept to the side and tousled.

As Jimin got close he noted the tint in his lip balm, his lips shiny, pink and undoubtedly kissable.

“Yoongi…” he breathed. “What is all this…”

He choked on the end of his scentence, because Yoongi was lowering himself down on one knee and staring up at Jimin like he was the whole damn world.

Such devotion.

He dug into his breast pocket and produced a tiny red box, Cartier scrawled on the top. He opened it.

“Holy shit.”

The ring was white gold strands all entwined in a loop like vines, three stones embedded in the centre. A sapphire and two diamonds. One yellow, one white.

Blue- for Yoongi

White- for Jimin

Yellow- the colour of their love.

Their love was the centre of it all. Yoongi bit his lip, nerves afflicting the otherwise soft hue of his eyes. “Park Jimin…”

“Yes.”

“Oh. But I…”

“Yoongi. I don’t need a speech.” he laughed, breathless. “I know you probably wanted to but…I know that you love me. I don’t need a monologue to tell me that. I know. Nobody could ever love me better.” he held out his hand for Yoongi. “You’re the love of my life. And I wanna spend that life with you. I wanna keep growing with you…’til we’re old and aching and we have nothing but each other left in this world. That will always be enough, so yes Yoongi I will marry you.”

Yoongi laughed, all full of love and light. “You’re something else… something else entirely.” he slipped the ring like a glove onto Jimin’s finger, and the younger pulled him to his feet. “I don’t know when…I don’t know where, but we’ll be married one day. This ring is my promise.”

“I love you.”

A kiss to his lips. “I love you too.”

Finally, they turned to their brothers, who waited with bated breath. “AY! CALL ME MR MIN YOONGI!” Jimin cried, Yoongi giggling into his shoulder and the others ruining the peace of the church.


	29. AN UPDATE <3

So my angels, 

FIRST OFF, for this last official chapter I need your help!

**I want you to all please comment below something you would love to tell each member of BTS if you could.**

**You can comment just one member if your want or (preferably) you can leave a comment for each of the members.**

**I will them pick my favourites for each member and they will be featured in the next chapter. **

**PLEASE DO NOT WORRY. They don’t have to be literary gold or long rolling paragraphs. Just let it come from your heart yeah?**

Love, hugs and thank you’s in advance.

 

_There is one thing I would like to add. DO NOT THINK I DON’T APPRICIATE YOUR COMMENTS AND KUDOS._

_They mean more to me than anything! I adore you guys. You make me smile every day and make me a better writer._

_See you in the final Official Chapter_

_Liv <3_

 

_PS. I'm so sorry for anyone who thought I was money grabbing or being a shitty person for putting up my patreon. I didnt mean to make you feel unappreciated or whatever I just saw it as a like a sort of tip jar like you'd tip your waitress and I would never be asked to be payed to write for you guys on here about Bangtan. I'm so sorry if anyone thought that. It breaks my fucking heart. Because I really love and appreciate you all just being here to read it. It makes me smile everyday. And the thought of hurting any of your feelings makes me feel so shitty. So yeah. I'm sorry I love you. The last chapter will be up ASAP I'm kind stuck with a shitty cold at the moment but I'm trying my best to get all your requests going too.  
See you soon<3_


	30. Bangtan/ARMY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bangtan are sad and ARMY are there to lift them. <3
> 
> Stay tuned for a big old AN at the end <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my love and hugs for the people who wrote beautiful tributes for this chapter! I ADORE YOU and reading them made my heart flutter <3:
> 
> @NinjaHobbit242  
> @Adommy88  
> @nyxqueenofshadows  
> @dmarcela13  
> @shannand410
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for your beautiful words used in this chapter. I may have changed a word or a grammar point here and there just so it looks like they were written at diffrent times ect. They were perfect <3

In moments like this, it almost felt like the walls were closing in around him. Namjoon felt the cold oppressiveness of the industry. The stiff suits, the figures. It meant nothing to him. It was suffocating.

The fluorescent lights hurt his eyes and this atmosphere was clinical.

He felt his mind wandering, as some uptight PD pointed at graphs on a whiteboard. It was akin to being starved of oxygen, the way his vision blurred and his mind filled to the brim with clouds.

In this room, the soul was slowly being pulled from him, from their music, being replaced by numbers. Moments like that made him wonder why he did it.

Until he retrieved his phone out of sheer boredom, until he tapped on his Twitter icon.

 

_“Namjoon - You are an amazing leader who has come so far, and you've managed to truly discover who you are as a person, you've taken that knowledge and helped others with it. I'm so proud of you.”_

_“Kim Namjoon: You are the reason BTS exists. You are the glue that holds everyone together; the rock that keeps the group steady. You're beautiful inside and out, and it is so inspiring to watch you rise to the challenge of the critics. Please continue to blow the haters away with your never-ending talent.”_

_“Joon: you are selfless in order to protect others. sentimental in thought and behaviour. a dreamer. advocate for change and acceptance for all. creative. constantly growing.”_

_“Kim Namjoon, we love you.”_

Namjoon’s palm slid over his heart, it swelled under his ribcage. It soared for them. His ARMY. Their ARMY.

He felt the sudden urge to write, his fingers twitching and words flooding his brain faster than he could collate them. He stood, his chair scraping the tile and jostling the nameless faces that bracketed him.

“Mr Kim? Are you-“

“I’m sorry I’ll…” he was breathless, why was he breathless? “I’ll be back, I just need to…” he offered no further explanation. He was bubbling, overflowing with energy. ARMY’s energy. With just a mere few words, they had lit a flame in his heart, and had re-inspired him. Namjoon felt new in that moment, reborn.

And that was why. That was why he was still doing this.

/

His lungs were burning, knees weak and his head spinning. He just couldn’t stamp it into his brain. There were counts, there was movement and then twist-turn-dips.

And at times like this, spread out on his bed, throat raw and choked up with frustrated tears, Jin wondered why he still did it.

“It’s okay…” the teacher had told him. “We’ll just hide you in the back.”

It was dark in the room, curtains drawn haphazardly, and a single beam of moonlight striping his beautiful face. He wasn’t here to be a prop. Or a pretty ornament to place behind the true stars.

He came to sing, he came to dance. And if they wouldn’t allow it, then what was the damn point?

His phone buzzed on the pillow next to him, lighting the shadowy parts of his face.

**“Joon: I’ll be home for dinner. Saw something on Twitter. Needed to write. Love you xxx”**

Jin’s brow furrowed. Twitter.

When he flicked it up he saw no big drama, or world changing event. What he did see was ARMY, amongst all the politics and shit-posting. And they breathed air back into his lungs.

_“Kim Seokjin. It must be hard being the eldest among the boys. It's so refreshing to watch you acting so young, brightening everyone's day with your incredible laugh (and your beautiful face). You have such a nice voice, it's beautiful and never let anyone tell you otherwise.”_

_“Handsome Jin, despite not getting many lines for literally years, you persevered, worked on your vocals (which are beautiful) and your dancing (which has really improved) and now you're starting to get the attention you really deserve, especially cos Epiphany is a stunning song. Thanks for sticking with it and making your handsome face into an equally gorgeous person.”_

_“Jin: trustworthy and strong. shows dedication to not only himself and his music but to the people he cares about most. always there to encourage and care for. confident but forever humble.”_

_“Kim Seokjin, we love you.”_

Jin smiled, his cheek squished cutely against his pillow. He let his muscles be warmed by the praise, let their words sink through his skin and sooth his aching bones.

Suddenly, he could see a clear path in front of him, he felt the love of his members surround his body, even with them scattered all over Seoul.

He saw the bright light of ARMYs love at the end of the rocky road.

And that was why…that was why he did it.

He suddenly felt like dancing…running.  Showing himself off to a crowd of people. He grabbed his coat and took off, leaving all his doubt behind him.

/

It was a night of stress, a muffled voice over a breaking connection.

“Yeah…” Yoongi rasped. “No, I’ll have it done by morning…what? No, it’ll take all night. I’ll uh-nap before practice.”

The voice that squabbled into the empty room was akin to a chipmunk. Grating. And Yoongi’s head pounded, the electric light of the computer colouring his cheeks like a blue moon. He sucked in a heavy sigh, mashed the heels of his palms into his eyes. _Wake up, wake up pabo. Aish, now is not the time to be tired._

The conversation ended with an ominous warning in Yoongi’s ear. The rapper hung up, dropping the phone with a clatter on the desk, his eyes burning. They were struggling to keep themselves open.

It was moments like this, the loneliness and the heavy heart, that had Yoongi wondering why he still did this.

His phone buzzed with a message, Jimin’s soothing tone sending him a sweet little memo to bless his ears with.

_“Hey baby, its me… I know you’re working hard, but try to eat Yoongi, and take some rests. I love you so much.”_

Yoongi smiled affectionately and rolled his eyes. It was good of him to care. So lovely, but he was such a hypocrite. He pressed his lips to the screen subconsciously. He could bet Jimin was in that studio right now, working himself until he physically dropped.

He missed him.

While he was contemplating, the phone buzzed against his lips. Aoki had liked his selcas. That was nice…

He tapped on the notification. And what he saw warmed him to his core. Lines and lines of comments. Beautiful words. All directed towards him.

 

_“Min Yoongi: Even though I've never met you, just listening to your music and watching how you care for others, makes me feel safe and warm. You have such incredible talent and I hope you never stop aiming for the moon and beyond.”_

_“Yoongi - you have gone through so much to get where you are, and it shows. You're an amazing producer, a brilliant rapper and now a dancer and singer too? And don't get me started on the piano. We've been blessed. Even with depression, social anxiety and a broken shoulder, you carried on and made the world sit up and take notice. That's powerful. That's talent. Thank you for proving that mental illness is not an insurmountable barrier.”_

_“Yoongi: unedited. real and raw. rebellious against conformity. appreciative of his surroundings and the people closest to him. observant. in love with music. layers like an onion. softy at heart.”_

_“Min Yoongi, we love you.”_

Yoongi felt joy wash over his body, let their sentiments take him like the warmth of the sun. They knew him. Not intimately like his members, but they knew him. And they loved him.

And suddenly he wanted company, he craved a human touch, a hand to hold. He pushed back his chair, let the door crash behind him.

Fuck the deadlines. For even a moment, he would spread his wings and be free.

/

Sometimes, Hobi had been forcing a smile for so long, his cheeks would hurt and his jaw would tremble under the strain of that perfect mask.

As the photographer’s camera flashed white gold for the hundredth time, the elder clicked his tongue impatiently. “Come on Hope-issi. Your face isn’t very hopeful, is it?”

Hobi laughed it off, a blush colouring the highs of his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “I’m sorry, I think I’m just a little tired.” He admitted, to which the man’s brow furrowed deeper.

“Well posing for a lens shouldn’t kill you.”

Hobi wanted to stamp his damn foot. He wanted to scream at him. Tell him how he’d been up since dawn, danced six hours, recorded three, composed for a further two, and so yes. Another hour in front of the camera would most certainly kill him.

He didn’t. He didn’t say anything. He carried on for another twenty minutes until Sejin entered the ring and physically forced him to go home.

It was cold outside, and his body was weary. The chill of night nipped the tip of his nose pink, before he pulled the mask up to cover it. He tugged the fur lined collar of his jacket closer around his chin, and he took a moment to just stand there. To breathe.

To feel what he needed to feel.

As the pooling tears turned to an ocean, he wondered why he did this at all.

Until he flipped open Instagram, to find a cat video that would distract him.

The suggested section summoned a tundral of clips from his own performances. He tapped on one from a while back, Boy Meets Evil, out of sheer curiosity. His expert eyes drew out every stumble. All the imperfections.

But praise rained down on the comment section, drowning out all noise. Suddenly, the smiles came easily, as his eyes rolled over the passion of their responses.

_“Hobi, the representation of a true appreciation for life. positive but realistic. gives others strength. affectionate and appreciative. accepts obstacles at face value and works to overcome. hardworking.”_

_“Hoseok - Dancer extraordinaire, sunshine even in your own darkest hours, secret guardian of the other members. What more is there to say? You often get overlooked despite your talents (which is not fair) but you keep going, you get better but never leave your members behind. You are the glue that holds BTS together. Thank you for staying and thank you for working hard to make sure ARMY sees the best of the best.”_

_“Jung Hoseok: What a personality you have! Your laugh and smile and general brightness never fail to make my day better. Your talent knows no bounds, nor does your kindness. Please never forget that we love you, and you don't always have to be perfect.”_

_“Jung Hoseok, we love you.”_

Hobi grinned, from ear to ear, and let his head fall back against the brick. He looked up at the stars, he smiled at them.

Because that’s why. That’s why he still did this.

/

Jimin should have guessed at some point his knees would start giving out. This routine called for a lot of strength in his knees. Unfortunately, those knees were knocking.

He was exhausted, to the point that he didn’t know what the hell he was still dancing for. He just went on, like a robot. Spin, spin…dip… _nonono, fuck, watch your hands._ Sweat beaded his forehead and trickled down his beautiful face.

He took a moment to fall forward, brace his hand against the mirror, his hot breath fanning out and clouding the glass.

The coolness stung his warm skin, but it still felt good.

 _Just a moment_ , he reprimanded himself. _Just a quick few breaths and he would get back to work._

His knees gave way and hit the floor. It hurt, but he was so glad to be off his feet, that the secondary pain was worth it.

His phone dinged with a new notification and he peered down under his arm. Oh, his Fancafe post had just reached four million likes.

He smiled all sheepish, as he unlocked his phone and slid down the mirrored wall, curling up at the bottom with his head propped precariously against his stuffed gym bag.

The comments were still flooding in, the stream of responses moving almost as fluidly as water. But he managed to scroll up and catch a few. Eyes wide and lip jutted out with an utter adoration. Because ARMY never failed to lift him when he was down.

 

_“Park Jimin: You're such a wonderful, incredibly talented person. I love watching you sing and dance and light up everyone's day. I admire how much you truly care about your members and the people around you. Please never doubt yourself, you're something special.”_

_“Park. Jimin. Beautiful, cute, sexy, adorable, an amazing dancer with a beautiful voice and just a complete and utter angel. You really struggled with mental illness, especially self-image/self-worth and dealing with stress/sadness and you picked up some unhealthy habits to try and combat that, like drinking and going on extreme diets. But you came out of the other side and that means you are so so so strong, in some ways more than Yoongi. Where Yoongi handled his illnesses beforehand and knew how to deal with them to some degree, yours hit their low point just as BTS's fame was starting to grow and reach worldwide levels. To get through that with the eyes of the world on you takes strength that most people do not have. Thank you for staying with us and being a gift that the world doesn't quite deserve but desperately needs. You nice, you keep going._

_“Jimin: his love for love is unbeatable. truly wishes the best for all. born angel made to spread love beauty and kindness. unafraid of affection. loyal and supportive.”_

_“Park Jimin, we love you.”_

Jimin rolled onto his back, the music still playing on a loop in the corner of the room. And god, did he smile.

ARMY to Jimin, was like a magic balm to rub upon his wounds. ARMY lulled him when he was in pain, they tended to his wounds, tucked him in next to Yoongi and kissed him goodnight without even a whisper that would stir him.

And that’s why he did all this. Happiness for happiness. Love for love.

All of a sudden, Jimin found no solace in the practice room, but he would sure as hell find solace in the arms of his members, with Seokjin’s stew settling warm in his tummy.

He heaved himself to his feet. It was enough, it was time to go home…

/

Tae wandered the streets alone, for the third time this week.

It wasn’t that he didn’t have anyone he could turn to, anyone to walk alongside. If anything, he had that in abundance. But…Kim Taehyung had a guilt problem. It was ever difficult to see his brothers struggle, to wear themselves to the ground and then ask them to join him on the streets as the rainclouds thundered unpromisingly above the hills.

Sometimes, Tae was just sick of being cooped up in buildings, in cars. Shoved from room to stuffy room. He just wanted to feel the air on his skin, smell the smells of the city…rain, petrol and pastries. He wanted to hear the car horns blare, not be muffled through a concrete slab or a window pane. He wanted to see the world.

He couldn’t say he hated his fame. But isolation was a definite downside. And no matter how close he and his members were, no matter how many times their words and caresses had fixed him. Sometimes, he was simply lost.

He wondered why he was doing this at all.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, tickling his thigh.

“Kookie: You looked sad before you left, let me know if you’re okay babe…and if not… here’s some lil Tan’s pupping for your smiles <3 ( <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJir5cxLv9U>). I miss you…”

Tae’s heart skipped a beat for their maknae, and he giggled at the little video his lover had linked in the brackets. He was the sweetest thing.

From there started his little video journey, that somehow wound up with him watching compilations of his best moments. His mind was rolled back like a movie reel to his happiest instants and suddenly, nothing seemed so bad, nor so lonely.

The comments below spoke more than a million awards ever would.

_“Taehyung - Everyone kinda writes you off as the weird one but that's not fair or true. You are an amazing singer with a soulful voice that most people only dream of having. A great dancer too. Your love for the rap line is probably the truest representation of how ARMYs react that I've ever seen and it hypes people up every time cos seeing you happy makes us happy. You always seem to put us first, performing while ill and even after hearing that your Grandma died. You have so much love to give to others and it's beautiful. You have a great intelligence that could rival Namjoon's in some ways, especially when it comes to making friends in unlikely places, and I wish more people would recognise that. Keep doing what you're doing and know that we love you now and will love you always.”_

_“Tae: carries the stars in his eyes and the moon in his heart. a true pure soul. massively intuitive and in touch with other’s feelings. celebrates individuality. means well. soft and loving.”_

_“Kim Taehyung: You are a masterpiece, truly. Just watching the way you light up rooms (even if I can only see it through a screen) is enough to make me smile like crazy. Your voice is so soulful and I pray that you never lose your light.”_

_“Kim Taehyung, we love you.”_

 

Tae giggles, low and bubbly into the din of the world that was passing him by. Suddenly he wasn’t lost in the crowd, and he knew exactly what he needed. The stars and the moonshine above were there to guide him. With their light, their endless wisdom, he could never be alone.

Because he was part of something. Something special, something he had a hand in creating.

And that’s why. That’s why he did it all.

He scrolled back to Kookie’s message.

**_“Come meet me…I miss you too, sweet boy. <3”_ **

/

As the youngest of seven members, Jungkook wasn’t a stranger to being shrouded in a regal cloak of love. Thick, silky and decadent. He was pampered, and he was grateful.

He was also smothered.

He was poked, pulled and analysed. And it overwhelmed him. They called him golden, it was nice…but also, it was pressure. It had him fretting and contemplating in his lonely moments if he was still their pride, was he still good enough? Had it changed in the past week, the past day, the past hour?

The fear of loosing it all made his hands tremble and his heart race, his mind flash with a thousand images of anger and resentment.

Now was one of those times.

He reached out to Tae, the worry of his happiness weighing heavy on his mind too. No answer yet.

Or now.

_Nothing._

He would busy his hands with mindless FanCafe scrolling.

Oh…oh ARMY. They were… well shit, here came the waterworks.

 

_“Jeon Jungkook: Golden maknae, indeed. Your talent is outstanding, and it's always a pleasure to see the many things you can do while making the world your own. I admire your utter gratitude and love for your members, and I'm so excited to see you continue to shine.”_

_“Jungkook: calm and collected. passionate. guarded in his emotions. sensitive. firm in his standings. kind and playful. cute child hidden under pressure and responsibilities.”_

_“Jungkook - The Golden Maknae. One of the most talented people to ever step on the Kpop stage. But also, one of the sweetest, most humble and most down to earth. You work hard, but take time for yourself and others, playing games and messing around… experiencing the teen years you could never really have. The hyungs raised you and we can see a little bit of them in you. You could have just brushed them off and taken that for granted but you never do, looking after them and always making sure they have what they want. You don't cry often, but when you do it’s almost always over others and not yourself. You CARE and that just makes your skills all the more impressive. Thank you for never letting fame get to your head and for being the caring man you are. It means a lot.”_

_“Jeon Jungkook, we love you.”_

 

The Maknae’s hands were steadied, as if ARMY had taken them in their own. Like they were holding them, stroking his knuckles. _They love you. True and unconditional._

A gentle smile and rosy glow brightened his complexion. And suddenly, little Kookie with a bare face and ruined hair felt good enough in his natural state.

And that was why. They were why he did all this.

A notification dropped down from the top of his screen.

**_Tae: Come meet me…I miss you too, sweet boy <3_ **

Kook: On my way! <3

/

(Group Chat)

** Hobi: WHO WANTS TO COME FOR LATE NIGHT CHURROS. **

** Hobi: I’m in a good mood. They’re on me **

**Yoons: Oh, me too… I’m already out, where are you?**

** Hobi: Just outside of BigHit! **

**Yoons: I’m nearly there.**

**_Tae: Me and Kookie are floating on clouuuuuuds here. We’re out too! We’re coming for free churros!_ **

Kookie: Who the fuck turns down free churros?

**_ Jinnie: Language. _ **

**_Tae: HYUNG! You coming!?_ **

**_ Jinnie: Actually, I’m on a smiley stroll too… I’ll be there in ten. _ **

Kookie: Family outing. @Minnie @Joon, you busy?

Joon: I’m blissing out in the park. But I’ll always have time for free churros.

**_ Jinnie: If you’re drunk Kim Namjoon. _ **

  _Minnie: I’m literally skipping down the centre, I FEEL drunk. I’m comiiiiing!_

**Yoons: I love you.**

_Minnie: I love you moreeeee._

Joon: I wonder what has you all so euphoric tonight?

**Yoons: ARMY.**

Kookie: ARMY…

** Hobi: ARMY! **

**_Tae: ARMYYYY!!!_ **

_Minnie: ARMY <3_

**Jinnie: Food…**

**Jinnie: And ARMY!**

_Minnie: What about you Namjoonie…_

Joon: My members.

Joon: And our ARMY. <3

 

Bangtan spent the evening together, at an all-night café, in a pool of candlelight. They laughed, they danced, they filled themselves with churros and chocolate dip.

And they basked in ARMYs love, in their love for them. It was the one thing they would always have in common.

_“They are so beautiful inside and out. I have never seen seven people with more bright and beautiful souls. They have taught me so much with their music and just who they are as people. I am honoured to be able to call myself ARMY. Their words and songs have helped me through some very bad days and helped me through good ones too. They deserve every ounce of love and happiness that can be found in this world, and I hope they find it. If the love I have for them as ARMY can help and give them even a small piece of happiness. then that's more than enough for me. I truly love those seven amazing different men for who they are separately and for who they are together as Bangtan. The love and care they have for each other could teach us all a thing or two on how to treat people.“_

_“Thank you for existing, for never giving up, for teaching me that we can make our dreams come true, for showing me that we can touch the sky without leaving Earth and that no matter how successful you are, you need to remember where you started. Thank you for showing me that life is something to enjoy, not just to survive.”_

_“Bangtan Sonyeondan, we love you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Angels,   
> Thank you so much. Your support, your comments, everything...its really lifted me up. This fandom is without doubt the most passionate, supportive and family like I've ever be a part of.
> 
> You guys and Bangtan. You are my stars that swallow the dark.
> 
> My Patreon is out there if you can afford and feel like it, just search Olivia Owens and look for my icon that I have on here <3 Dont feel any pressure to give any money. I will be creating for you guys regardless. 
> 
> I still have two bonus chapters and alot of other requests to fill and I think they're all beautiful and you guys inspire me so so much. I started this series as a request for my gal @AlexandraBell and others for my baby @katesentance. (Who I adore) But this became my way of showing love and apprication for not only each member but their beautiful dynamics. And you should do the same<3
> 
> Go tell them, go tell them all this. Tell them how much you love them yeah? Always love BTS.
> 
> I Purple Ya'll, See you soon for more!  
> Liv <3


	31. Jung Hoseok 2 (Yoominseok) (Bonus Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For @Bangtan_Beauty who suggested way back that she wished I hadn't skipped over the Yoonminseok sex from Hobi's chapter. You thought I would forget aye? I have lists ^^
> 
> OR
> 
> Hobi is feeling alone. Hot and emotional Yoonminseok sex ensues. <3

_(ON THE LAST EPISODE HAHAHA)_

_“Hyung, I’m in my underwear.”_

_Yoongi barked a laugh. “And, we’ve clearly all seen you in your pants by now, that photo aside.”_

_Hobi dipped his head but, he allowed Yoongi to pull him off the bed and position him in front of the mirror. It made something warm settle in his stomach, when Yoongi hooked his chin over one shoulder and Jimin pressed his forehead to the other. They were both so small next to him. The idea made him feel…powerful. At least a little._

_“You know…” Yoongi’s voice was low, silky in his ear. “You’re really fucking hot.”_

_Hobi froze. His eyes shot open and moved quickly to Jimin. But the younger just lifted his head and smiled._

_“H-huh?”_

_“I said you’re hot, Hobi.”_

_Hobi swallowed and he felt a pair of plush lips press kisses along his shoulder. “Jimin…”_

_“Yes Hyung?”_

_“What…what’re you…” he cut off, voice dissolved into a low groan when he felt Yoongi’s tongue drag from the crook of his neck, to the shell of his ear. “Fuck.”_

_“You want us to stop…” Yoongi breathed. Hobi let his head fall to the side, eyes rolling back a little. He felt his heart hammer in his chest as hands started to move over his body, leaving fire tracks in their wake._

_“If this is a pity thing…”_

_Yoongi laughed gently. “This is a ‘we saw that photo, we both got hard, talked about it and we really want you to fuck us’ thing.”_

_Hobi’s mouth fell open, as Jimin whined needy in his ear and Yoongi’s hand brushed down over his abdomen. Well…shit._

_Hobi didn’t take off their clothes. He tore them off._

_/_

Hobi turned where he stood, a fire in his eyes as he yanked Yoongi’s lips to his own. Hard, dirty and urgent. Yoongi stilled under him for a split second, the breath stolen from him. Then a noise, soft and contemplative was murmured against Hobi’s lips, Yoongi’s fingers found their way into his hair.

Groaning, Hobi began to tear at Yoongi’s tee, ripping it nearly in two, with Yoongi’s breath catching against his lips.

It was then that Jimin whined behind him, Yoongi’s shirt in shreds on the floor. The eldest pulled back with a smack, as plush lips travelled the strong line of Hobi’s shoulder.

“Mmm.” his hand reached over Hoseok, ruffling Jimin’s golden locks affectionately. “My boy needs lots of attention. Don’t you sweetheart?”

A rosy hue coloured Jimin’s cheeks, he nodded.  And Yoongi smiled, nipping at Hobi’s bottom lip.  The dancer was groaning, eyes fluttered shut. “Open his robe… it’ll make you fucking throb for him.” Yoongi chuckled.

Hobi gazed down at Yoongi through lidded eyes and accepted a final peck. As he turned, Yoongi littered his skin with open mouthed and butterfly kisses. Hobi tugged Jimin close by the robe tie.

The youngest made the softest noise, it sent shockwaves straight to Hobi’s cock. And his eyes were so wide and pretty…he could see why Yoongi found it difficult to deny Jimin anything. Hobi tugged on Jimin’s robe, pulling it open.

He let it fall, with a squishy thud to the carpet.

_Fuck._

Yoongi’s lips on Hobi’s neck stopped as he took in the youngest too, the beautiful lines of his body, how his skin seemed to glow in the buttery lamp light. Hobi’s fingers reached out on their own accord and ghosted the smaller’s naked sides, drawing a shiver up Jimin’s spine.

“Beautiful, isn’t he?” Yoongi drawled into Hobi’s ear.

He nodded as Yoongi pressed his cock into the dip of his clothed ass. _Fuck Yoongi…his cock was…fuck._ “Beautiful…” Hobi breathed, pulling a proud smile up upon Jimin’s lips.

And almost immediately he dropped to his knees, staring up at Hobi through delicate lashes as he pulled at the waistband of his boxers. Hobi was trembling, a subtle tremor in his thighs as Yoongi fell to his own behind him.

Together, the smaller two tugged Hobi’s underwear to his ankles.

He didn’t have much time to think before Jimin was taking his cock in that…that fucking delectable mouth. Hobi’s whole body jumped like he’d been shocked, and Yoongi pressed his lips to the taller’s ass cheek, smiling against it. “He was born for it right?”  

Hobi stared down at Jimin, lost in his wonder, as the younger happily responded to the compliment with a breathy moan, taking his Hyung even deeper.

Hobi’s head fell back, lips parted, and his fingers wound themselves in Jimin’s hair to anchor himself. Fuck, it felt like he was floating. Like he was between two bands of stars and there was so much light…too much light.

And then Yoongi parted his cheeks, blew a hot stream of air between them, and dragged his tongue from balls to hole. A shooting star. A comet across the night. Hobi wanted to combust, but he couldn’t. It was the most delicious torture.

He only let them go on for four minutes or so, before it was too much. With trembling hands and heavy lids, he hoisted them both to their feet, wet noises from both when appendages left orifices. Hobi’s chest was heaving, his hair tousled. “Kiss…” he whispered. “Kiss like you would kiss if I wasn’t here with you.”

Yoongi went in immediately, Jimin closing his eyes for impact, but Hobi snapped them back by the scruff of their neck’s. He brushed a kiss on each set of lips. “On the bed.” he added.

Yoongi smirked.

Jimin was already pulling his lover with him.

Watching the two kiss felt like a dream. It was oddly peaceful and utterly arousing. Hobi retrieved the lube from his bedside draw and lowered himself to the mattress, he let himself stare. Their lips slid together seamlessly, their tongues moving in a perfect tandem. When Jimin would breathe a whimper, Yoongi would answer with a rumbling groan. And their hands didnt dawdle. Sliding over smooth skin, kissing waists and hips and bare asses.

Hobi wondered what more he could bring to that.

Then he touched them. A hand each, sliding up their bare thighs and amid them, behind their balls, between their cheeks. Fingers brushed over their holes and they pulled back, gasping.

Their eyes were near black as they looked up to him. So wrecked already. “Mhm, having fun?” he murmured, the twinkle in his eyes.

Jimin’s tongue darted out to wet his lips. Yoongi’s voice flooded their ears, rough…silky. “You gonna fuck us Hobi-ah? One by one, huh?” he teased.

As if by command, Yoongi rolled onto his back, legs falling open, dick hard and tight against his stomach. Jimin rolled to his front, ass up high and spread, pink cheek pressed to his lover’s shoulder. “Please…” he whispered.

Hobi smiled. What to do with two beautiful men, spread out like meals beneath him? Ready to be devoured.

/

“Hahhhhh! Aiii Hyunggg.”

Jimin lay out on his tummy, much like before. This time however, Hoseok’s fingers moved inside him hard and messy, slicked by lube. He timed them with his hips, as he thrust relentlessly into a wrecked Min Yoongi.

The eldest lay out below him as pretty as a picture, biting down on a pillow to stifle the pleasure pouring out of his mouth.

And the beauty below him had Hoseok quivering, his eyes welling up, his body felt weak and exhausted. Because he had been so alone, and this was…almost too much.

Yoongi sensed the weariness in the stuttering of Hobi’s beat, and he choked on a gasp as he held the dancer’s hips still. “H-Hobi-ah…” he breathed. Jimin turned his head too, all dizzy and flushed with colour.

Sweat rolled off the tip of Hobi’s nose. “It-it’s okay I’m just a bit…I can carry on.” he promised.

Jimin pulled his fingers away, kissed his hand and held it in his own. If it wasn’t so sweet, it would have been a little dirty. “It’s okay…” he breathed. He sat up with Yoongi, who cupped his chin and forced Hobi to look into his pretty eyes.

“Hey…we’re right here. We’re not going. We won’t leave you.” he promised.

Hobi’s eyes flickered from Yoongi’s to Jimin’s. He hadn’t a clue how much he needed to hear those words until that moment.

_We won’t leave you._

And suddenly he crumbled. Pulled Jimin close onto his shoulder and collapsed against Yoongi’s. His tears were silent, but the lovers caressed his back, kissed his forehead. Crooned pretty things low and tender into his ear.

_“We love you.”_

_“You’re so wanted Hyung”_

They soaked for a while, in a heap under the low light. They breathed as one… stayed close.

Eventually, they would sink into lust again, Yoongi whispering to Jimin. “Ride him angel. Ride him like you were born for it.” Jimin did, and it was stunning, as Yoongi captured Hobi in a kiss. A kiss that was so layered in emotion.

It spoke silently. _I got you. You’re wanted. There’s abso-fucking-loutley nothing the matter with you._

Hobi stroked him in return. Until Yoongi gasped against his lips. He came first…which was surprising considering the sounds Jimin was making. He came long and hard with a tirade of curse words against Hobi’s lips

The youngest came second. Arching beautifully and spilling onto Yoongi’s waiting tongue.

Then came Hobi, who saw galaxies above him. He didn’t remember what happened when he came. But he opened bleary eyes to a shower of kisses and a promise that they would do this again. If he wanted it of course.

Later Yoongi admitted to knowing that Hobi would cry. The man thrived physically. Verbal love was beautiful, texts and cute gifts were lovely. But what he needed was gentle touches and kisses of devotion. Human contact. Intimacy.

They would give that to him, until he found someone worthy of his heart of gold.

 

[Patreon/Tip Jar](https://patreon.com/user?u=14214276&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter&utm_campaign=creatorshare2)  (If you liked it and can afford/ want to. Don't worry I will write regardless of patreon support, love you guys <3) 

 


	32. JiKook 2 (Yoonminkook) (Bonus Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My angels @dmarcela13 and @Winged_Nunumz_Of_Ra and @kyriebitches. Wanted a follow on from the Jikook chapter and also a bit of Yoonmin fluff on the side.
> 
>  
> 
> OR
> 
> They tell Yoongi about the incident, they each pizza in the park at 4am and Yoongi snaps.

Jungkook stared at Jimin from across the table, as the smoke from the sizzling beef rose in tendrils and obscured their faces.

Jimin could feel the gaze, his head lain on the same arm that he clung to, inhaling Yoongi’s comforting scent all the while. He knew that Yoongi could sense something too. Jimin was clingy, Yoongi knew that. He didn’t mind that. But avoiding Kookie’s eyes? Not moving from his lover’s side all night? That wasn’t the Park Jimin he knew. Park Jimin would rotate his time, make sure they all felt a little of his love for them.

Yoongi kept eyeing him. “Are you okay angel?” “Are you tired?” “Do you need anything?”

The answer was always: “I’m fine.” And it set Yoongi on edge.

Because the last time Park Jimin pulled away from them, he ended up so drained and so exhausted that he could hardly stand.

And Jungkook would not let it happen again.

When Jimin finally chanced a look up to their maknae, Jungkook’s eyes were yet to waver.

Tell him… he mouthed, and Yoongi caught it. He pulled Jimin up-right, the younger’s lashes fluttering and his cheeks pink. He wouldn’t look at Yoongi, who’s eyes were narrow and flickering between the two.

“What’s going on?” The low, measured and authoritive tone was one Yoongi didn’t use very often, favouring a lazy drawl instead. And so, it had the other’s turning their attention from their food to the three members caught in a stalemate. Jin even letting his noodles hang like ribbons from his mouth, frozen in his wonder.

“It-It’s nothing… I…”

“Jimin…” Kookie’s voice was soft, coaxing their eyes over to him. “Just tell him.”

Yoongi lowered his brow. “Tell me what?”

Jimin pulled the loose string at the cuff of his sleeve, Yoongi’s heart dropped behind his eyes. And Kookie could tell some of the others were coming to the wrong conclusion too.

“Jimin-ah…” Taehyung murmured. “You’re not…skipping meals or…”

“No!” his eyes were wide. “Nonono! I’m eating really well!” he promised, when Tae swallowed, he covered his hand. “Tae, I swear to you, all of you. I don’t do that anymore…”

“Then what?” Hobi cut in, eyes misty with a curious emotion, somewhere half way between confusion and appraisal.

Jimin swallowed, shot a glance toward Kookie, then looked Yoongi straight in his eyes. Pretty and billowing like smoke. “Promise me you won’t make a scene here. Promise you won’t scream and shout or throw things.”

Yoongi blinked. “I promise.”

Jimin nodded. “Outside, before…I was taking a little breather and uh-a waiter came out. I thought he was there to check on me but he, started trying to…” he dropped his voice to a whisper. “T-touch me.”

There was a chilly silence in which Jin, Joon and Hobi rolled their shoulders, ready to grab Yoongi and pin him down. But Yoongi remained stoic. “What did you do?”

“I tried to push him away.”

“Good…that’s good.”

“But I was weak from all the soju and wine and well…” he swallowed the present lump in his throat. “If Kookie hadn’t been there, it could have gotten a lot w-worse so…”

Yoongi shushed him, thankful for the private booth their fame afforded him. He was able to cup Jimin’s tense cheeks and kiss the worry away. “Don’t fret.” He pressed his lips to his forehead. “We’ll sort it. You have his name?”

“Lee Gunho.” Kookie answered. Yoongi turned to him, a gentle smile curving his lips.

He held out his hand for the youngest. “Hold my hand.”

Kookie slid his hand into Yoongi’s shyly. “Hyung?”

“Did you beat the shit out of him?”

Kookie laughed, and it rippled like a wave around the table. “I hurt my knuckles. But, yeah...”

“Good.” Yoongi murmured, pulling Jimin into the crook of his neck and squeezing Kookie’s smooth palm. “I’m proud of you.”

“Hyung…”

“I am too…” Jimin murmured. “I don’t think you realise what you just saved me from… it wouldn’t’ve just been one traumatic night Kookie-ah. It would have been hundreds, as it replayed over and over in my head. It’s hard to shake, even now.”

Yoongi hushed him, a thumb caressing his temple. He closed his eyes, deflated, sunk into his skin. He was safe here.

Jungkook shrugged. “It was nothing. I didn’t even think. I just sorta…did it.”

“You know, when a guy starts to throw himself in harm’s way without a thought, just to protect those who he feels deserve it, that’s when he really becomes a man.” Yoongi squeezed the younger’s hand once more. He squeezed back.

Tae chuckled, pressing a kiss to Kookie’s shoulder. “A man huh?”

Their eyes met, and they smirked sly, something bubbling behind their eyes, as Jimin wrinkled his nose. “Gross.”

Kookie quirked a brow. “Wanna talk about gross? Let’s talk about when Hyung straight up bent you over the…”

“YAH! I’m eating!” Jin complained, swatting his arm testily.

Hobi rolled his eyes. “Or we can talk about when Joonie bent Hyung over his- YAH!” the dance clutched his sore shin.

Namjoon sipped his wine. “Oops.”

/

Soft and even breaths were accompanied by sleepy mumbles against his neck, warming his skin. If it were any other night, the combination of Taehyung and the two incredible rounds of sex they had on their return, would have had Kookie just as passed out as Tae was.

But tonight had been chilling for Jungkook. Seeing what that…pervert was about to do, witnessing what humans can be capable of with his own two eyes…something had changed in him.

And he was angry.

Because that prick was still out there somewhere, and no Korean court would take them seriously if they were to press charges. Because Jimin was a boy who liked boys. And that was the end of it.

Kookie heard foot fall down the corridor, sluggish little shuffles. He knew who it was before he reached the door, a stripe of light blinding Jungkook temporarily as it was cracked open.

He blinked into focus, Yoongi leaning against his door frame. “Hey.” he breathed.

“Hey…”

“You can’t sleep either?”

“Nope…”

A beat. “Adrenaline. There’s anger in your veins still. Wanna go get pizza and forget about it?”

Kookie sighed. “We shouldn’t have to. Forget about it.”

“I know…but with out certain proof…” he sighed. “Kookie-ah, there’s no use in losing sleep over things we can’t change right now. Come on, eat with your Hyung.”

“Okay…”

Somehow, Jungkook untangled himself from Tae’s hold, singing to him a sweet melody and caressing the back of his head until he was settled once more. Then he slipped into some sweats, pulled on a hoodie and met Yoongi at the door.

“Jimin-ah?”

Jimin’s lips lifted in a small smile, as Yoongi zipped his duffel coat to his chin, planting a kiss to his rosy cheek. “Mind if I come with you guys?”

“Course not.” Kookie murmured, he flung an arm around his shoulders, Yoongi around his waist, they stepped out into the biting cold together. As always, as one.

/

The strange calm of early morning set Jungkook on edge, but Yoongi’s hand in his and Jimin’s weight across their lap soothed him. Seoul… it wasn’t so scary as it slept. The sun was barely beginning to spangle on the horizon, song birds shook off their feathers and sang their first song on the branches of the birch.

And Jimin lay on his front plucking dew dropped dandelions from the meadow.

Kookie could see why people fell in love with them, with both of them. Yoongi had a serene calm to him, like a lotus flower skimming over a still pond. Jimin had a natural sweetness that filled you with a steady energy. Like a warm drink on an icy morning, he felt like home. He felt like Busan. And they were his family.

He wished the others were here too, but he couldn’t help but be grateful for the moment unfolding before him.

Yoongi shovelled margherita thin crust into both of their mouths, only stopping to eat when Jimin murmured: “Baby, you too.”

They were so good, so amazing, so strong. And if he knew anything about being a man, it was learnt from people like Park Jimin and Min Yoongi.

It was why he couldn’t shake the fury in his heart. “He shouldn’t be out there, not without punishment.”

They turned their attention away from the pizza, from the wild-flowers. They looked at him. “He isn’t.” Yoongi told him simply.

“But he…”

“Jeon Jungkook, you think I would have left that building while he walked around believing he was in the clear?”

Jungkook blinked, Jimin smirked. “I mean technically he didn’t make a scene?”

“You…aish, what did you do to him.”

/

_Lee Gunho struggled against Yoongi’s firm hold. Yoongi was damn strong for a little guy with a bad shoulder._

_He guessed the adrenaline helped._

_“Get off!” the waiter whimpered, as Yoongi tore at his shirt. “Get off! Get off!”_

_“Yeah, let’s get off. Come on Gunho, just a kiss huh?” he growled, going for the man’s trousers._

_“Please! Please stop!”_

_Yoongi dropped him in the dirt by his feet, a dull thud and a tense silence. “Doesn’t feel good does it?”_

_Gunho panted up at him in a glare. “You touch my brothers- you touch anyone like that again, you won’t live to next week.”_

_“But I…”_

_“Shut up. You have your warning.”_

_/_

“Wow…”

Yoongi nodded, Jimin smudged the tomato sauce from his bottom lip. “He needed to learn.” the rapper mumbled.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah…” Jimin echoed.

There was a short silence, somewhere in the far distance, a car zoomed across a high way and somewhere in the near, a breeze rustled the crumbling leaves of the sycamore tree.

“The little battles start now…” the younger two turned to the elder. “I wanna come out. Properly.”

“Yoongi…” Jimin sat himself up, Kookie turned to face his Hyung on the bench.

“I don’t expect any of you to follow me out the closet…but will you follow me if I’m ousted?”

“Yes.” Jimin whispered, kissing his jutted lips and settling into the crook of his neck. “Yes…yes.”

Kookie nodded. “Yeah, everytime.”

His head fell onto Yoongi’s spare shoulder, and together they watched night turn into day.


End file.
